To leave toddler playing in the other room for a bit?

[Frogmarch89]

So 18 month old has a giant playpen full of toys. If somebody is in the room she will only play in it with somebody else, she won't play independently. However if there is nobody else in there she happily plays with her toys and talks to her Teddy bears and dolls.

So sometimes I put her in it, make a cuppa and go in the other room for 20 minutes or so. Both doors are open so I can hear her playing and it is safe in there.

I mentioned doing this to my friend and she says that its not normal to leave a child that young alone. I didn't really think anything of it, it's only now and again and gives me a chance to have a cuppa in peace.

AIBU?

Some people are so ridiculous! It is good for your child to learn some independence. I have 4 children, the youngest has just turned 2. She happily plays on her own in another room. As long as you have removed all obvious hazards, go and enjoy your cuppa!

🤣I always have mine nap outside in the garden. A Chinese friend of mine nearly had a heart attack!

I probably wouldn’t be totally out of sight for 20 mins but if you’re close and can hear I think it’s totally fine! I definitely leave DS playing as long as I know it’s safe and can hear or see occasionally what he’s up to. I disagree with your friend! X

Why cant you have your tea/coffee in the same room?
How can you have peace when you cant see your small toddler for that long I dont understand. Not ok in my books.

I hope it’s not a sign of Covid-related cognitive decline, but I can’t remember at all now. I think probably not, because we didn’t have a play pen, and it’s an old, not particularly childsafe house. But I always liked my cup of tea!

I didn't because I couldn't, but if I could've I would've! 😅

Do you have the Tomy hide and squeak eggs? Don’t leave her in there with those because (see Amazon reviews) they don’t necessarily look hazardous but there have been some very scary incidents.

I used to do that! I'd lurk outside their bedroom door and listen to the gurgling and babbling and when it changed into a whimper then I'd go in and get them up

The problem is you can't see them so if something happened it's relying on how long it would take you to notice that it was quieter than usual. If you could see them but they couldn't see you, then it would be fine.
I know you think there's no hazards in the cot but there are so many toys, covers, play pen structures, even clothes that can become a hazard eg a thread comes loose; a small battery falls out; a support frays. Having two family members who died at home in circumstances which everyone assumed were fine - I wouldn't risk it.

My mum used to put me outside in my pram (I was a summer baby) to nap, she said she parked the pram under the washing line and I would lie there watching my nappies fluttering in the breeze!

Yes it's fine to leave little ones in a safe area while you are in other room I've done it daily (needing loo brushing teeth etc ) and as a single parent you have to!

My mother used to talk about putting us outside in our prams, well wrapped up, even in the snow! We're both in our 70s so it did us no harm.

Is it ok if you pixilate their face? Or d you still need them to put their fingerprint or x on a legal disclaimer.

asking for a friend.

Yes as long as you have eyes on her, it certainly won't do her any harm emotionally or developmentally. And obviously as long as you respond to her if she calls for you.

They sleep so much better outside!

Seriously? 🙄

She is in a room that you feel she is safe and she stays there for 20 mins playing happily.. I have done it and I would do it again! Those who say they wouldn’t do it, what are they doing when they go for a number 2??

Should the consent be in writing? And does it need to be witnessed? 😂

Nope but DS1 was a koala til well over 2. DS2 will sit happily or play with his brother whilst I make food etc. But I can see them easily.

I would probably set up a camera just incase OP

As soon as a day time nap was dropped I substituted it with solo play. Good for them and me. I can see it really has helped each child to be happy in their own company now they are young adults. Some of their contemporaries still struggle.

I’m jealous! I also have an 18 month old who I can’t leave for more than a minute without her crying or coming to find me.

Consent? Why are you banding that around? She's not recording her and putting her all over the internet. It would be a monitor to check she is safe while she has a cuppa in peace.

I'm glad to see I'm not alone in my thinking.

Interesting to read that some feel it's a no no. She really is very close by and I peak in but fair enough if its not something you would do.

To answer some questions, I can't just have a cuppa in the same room as her without her wanting it/trying to get it 😆. She's a funny one my DD if you're in the room she's obsessed with you but very much out of sight out of mind. If you're away from her she will play happily. So thays why.

I wouldn't agree it's lax parenting, it's 20 minutes maybe twice a week 🤣

Your friend is mad, does she really have no time where her child is alone? How will they learn to play by themselves without attention? At that age children are mobile, do you just follow them from room to room no matter what you're doing? My Ds used to play in his room alone for 15/20 minutes, with me checking in and all doors open (in a flat so I could hear him perfectly and get to him instantly if needed).

This is fine. It's what playpens are for. Your friend is like crazy! Does she always take her child to the loo, or just make sure she doesn't need a number 2 when there is no other adult present?!