To think 13 months old is too young to leave DC with grandparents for 7 nights

[lavenderdillydilly]

Would you leave your 13 month old with their grandparents to go away for 7 nights with your DP/H to Vietnam/Indonesia?

Not me, but someone I know is doing this. I have a 7 month old and I thought holidaying along with DH was a thing of the past for us. But is it normal/common to leave baby DCs behind? I would feel uncomfortable but then I have been told I very much treat DC like a PFB - I don't want to be like that though and appreciate my hormones are slewing things!

Edit to say relationship with grandparents is good and they see their grandparents a couple of times a week for daycare.

Yea definitely too much for me.

But then again I know left their 4 month old for 2 weeks with a nanny they'd only met on Skype while they went to Indonesia.

Different strokes for different folks (trying hard to sound non-judgey when I do judge 😂)

I would know they would be safe if my mum was still with us but I couldn't have been away from them for so long when they're so little.

it's really up to them what they do. the baby I assume will be well looked after and be fine.

Honestly mine are 5 and 2 and I wouldn't leave them for 7 nights with anyone! 3 nights would be my limit and it would be with their Gran and Granda who I trust 100%.

None of your business to be judgy at what someone else chooses to do, nobody is asking you to do this and I assume nobody is actually asking for your opinion here on their parenting choices.

I wouldn't judge other parents. This is completely a personal choice, with factors like how much a parent trusts the GPs a key factor. Some GPs are very involved, some are more distant.

So yes, this is fine, but it is also fine to not do this. Some parents wouldn't leave their child for a week ever. That's also fine.

Parents, children and family set ups vary so much.

We went away annually when the children were little, first time was when DS was 5 months old. It was nice to have the break and spend time with DH and I'm not keen on taking smaller children on long plane journeys.

DM loved spending the time with the children and the kids bounded with their grandparents.

Win win!

I left DCs at 5 and 11m to attend a wedding abroad for 10 days. They stayed at home in their school and school are routine with grandparents.

Each to their own.

I hope it didn't come across judgey. I just wanted to know if it was common and whether it was something that I'm being a bit over the top with thinking people don't do this

I wouldn't personally have done it, and still wouldn't now DS is almost 5. But a lot of that is down to his personality and knowing he'd find it very difficult, even if staying with family members he knows well.

Equally, I don't particularly care what anyone else chooses to do. They know their own children 🤷‍♀️

For the record, my DC is super super happy with her grandparents but I am a clingy mum as it seems

I left my daughter for 2 weeks when she was 8 months old . She stayed with my mum and stepdad , who she knew well, and was absolutely fine. She now has her own children and I have looked after them while she travels sometimes. As a grandparent I am even more careful than I was with my own children.

I wouldn't judge but personally when I am off work I like spending time with the DC so I would miss them.

I would ignore those comments - this is quite literally a judging forum, built on the very premise of asking people to judge a particular situation

I wouldn’t have been comfortable with it and I think my son would have really struggled with it at that age. But I know other parents who have done things like that and it seems to have been fine. I think a lot comes down to the personality of your child - some little ones definitely seem more relaxed about being away from their parents, others wouldn’t cope well at all.

You’ll get a very varied response on here. Some people won’t have spent a night away from their 18 year old … others will have gone to Oz for a month and left they’re two week old.

We were lucky to have hands on GPS and went on regular breaks when ours were small. Never that far though.

Now they’re adults I can see a difference in my relationship with DH compared to friends who did everything with their DCs and had no time together.

YABU. It’s not your life, you don’t need to have an opinion on it.

Absolutely not. I left my 15yr old for three nights with his grandparents, though - the guilt nearly crippled me!

Not a choice I would make. Not sure I would chose to go do far away now and they are 10&12.

But I'd probably chose leaving them safe with grandparents over such a long flight if I needed to go to Asia st that age.

I wouldn't leave my 6 and 7 year old for 7 nights to go on holiday!

Would leave the teenager though, would probably take her a few days to realise I had dissappeard anyway!

I wouldn’t have done it, wouldn’t have been able to do it (to voluntarily separate myself from them for so long ).

But I don’t judge people who are comfortable with it. As long as the child is truly happy and secure with the caregiver.

No, neither of us would have wanted to.

Once our children were old enough to understand, we would go away for a night or two occasionally, leaving them with very close friends that they saw a lot so knew them really well.

We've gone away about once every 3 years without ours, first time when youngest was 14 months. They're teens now, no harm done, happy thriving kids with a good relationship with us (and grandparents funnily enough!) and DH and I have a strong and happy marriage. No regrets.

Because of the trauma for the grandparents? Totally understandable.

If it's not you that's doing it, why is it your business?

I left mine at about 18 months for a week, so not much of a difference. He was with my mum, who he saw pretty much daily, and was absolutely fine.