To think 13 months old is too young to leave DC with grandparents for 7 nights

[lavenderdillydilly]

Would you leave your 13 month old with their grandparents to go away for 7 nights with your DP/H to Vietnam/Indonesia?

Not me, but someone I know is doing this. I have a 7 month old and I thought holidaying along with DH was a thing of the past for us. But is it normal/common to leave baby DCs behind? I would feel uncomfortable but then I have been told I very much treat DC like a PFB - I don't want to be like that though and appreciate my hormones are slewing things!

Edit to say relationship with grandparents is good and they see their grandparents a couple of times a week for daycare.

If it’s not you doing this it is not your concern. Sorry, but to start a thread about it someone else’s choice to holiday is quite telling of your character.

How dare people financially provide for their children!

P.S some people put babies in nursery younger than 9 months too. Gasp.

We’ve been sending ours to stay with her grandparents for 7 nights each year since she was 9months old. She’s stayed one night a week (routinely) since she was a few weeks old. Grandparents are super important.

I went to New York with my DH for a glorious 5 night stay when our first child was 6 months old, leaving him with my Mum. We all felt comfortable with the arrangement, so sod what randoms thought.

And he was in (shock! Horror!) nursery from 7 months because I had to work. I know, shocking! .

Do you have willing grandparents and an opportunity to go away for 7 days? If not you don't need to worry about it.

I think you will fret if you leave your baby for a week and so will she/he. You are not a 'clingy mum', you're normal.

I went to a trance festival in Greece for a week when DS2 was 5 months, left him with my mum and dad. Weaned him off breastfeeding the week before.

He's 13 now and perfectly fine.

Each to their own, don't be a judgemental dick.

It doesn’t matter what your friend is doing or how you feel about it. That’s her family her decision. If you don’t feel comfortable or like the idea of leaving your baby then you don’t have to. Everyone is different some people will happily leave kids behind for a holiday others wouldn’t.

I think if the grandparents are used to having the baby overnight, without parents, everyone will be fine. They should probably build up to this, by staying over with parents first. Also, if your DC is only 7 months old you may feel quite different in 6 months time.

Nah, you’re not, it’s completely normal to not want to leave your baby, don’t let anyone make you feel bad.

It’s also completely normal and acceptable to be happy to leave your child with a trusted family member who loves them as much as you do.

I think this used to be more common when I was a child. I know my parents used to leave us with grandparents when we were very little to go away for up to a week.

Perhaps it's less common nowadays with parents (and therefore grandparents) being older these days. I certainly wouldn't leave my 5yo with grandparents for more than a couple of days at most as they'd be exhausted, and I wouldn't leave both children (5yo and baby) for more than a few hours as it wouldn't be fair. My parents and PILs are very involved grandparents but they're a decade older than my grandparents were at this stage.

My brother got a recommendation for a babysitter from a friend and left his 12 month old with her overnight when he'd never met her before 😳. So a week with grandparents seems reasonable to me as long as they are active, careful people who will follow instructions etc.

I think the situation in the OP is fine, but even I would judge the person who left a 4 month old for 2 months with someone she didn’t know well 🤣

Mind your own business! I know people who have done it and it worked just fine. You worry about your baby and your mate will worry about hers. Let’s hope she’s not on MN right?

It’s not always about trying to live a child free life, it’s often about spending one on one time with your spouse. How many times do you see people with a not great marriage because they have never prioritised each other on occasion?

No, and I think it’s really weird to want to be seperated from your baby for that long

I wouldn't personally but I wouldn't think anything of someone else who would.

There's always one on every thread 😳

We left our 8 month old at home with my parents in law and took our 2 year old away on holiday. We had planned to go as a
family but then our second child turned out to be an early crawler & walker and the villa we had booked would have been completely unsafe with a just-starting-to-take-steps baby! Never mind the enormous unfenced pool and rocky garden. So we opted to leave him at home. He doesn’t remember it of course but he had a lovely time being spoiled rotten by his doting grandparents. I had already stopped breastfeeding when I went back to work just after he was 6 months old, so that wasn’t an issue luckily. We have never been on another holiday without the children though, we just take them along with us which has been brilliant and we travel a lot.

Different strokes for different folks, I left my 17month old for two weeks with my sister while me and my mum went on a once in a lifetime trip. We were all absolutely fine. I’ve also left DC with my MIL for four days when she was 13 months to go support DH at a competition. My DC spends one night a week with my MIL regularly.
I have a friend who has never left her three year for even a night, and that’s cool too. Some people have to go back to work at 8 weeks, some are SAHMs until 5. I don’t think it matters and we should all try and support each other as best we can.

I think much of it comes down to circumstances. We knew for various reasons including death, distance and age that we were never going to have any family childcare support for even a couple of hours let alone days or weeks at a time.

This has meant we are a very tight immediate family unit so it would seem strange to us to not all be together. The only childcare we ever have is paid for. Those with wider family networks are likely to feel very different.

To be honest, I think it's down to personality type, values and previous experiences. Everyone has their own ideas about how parenthood should be. I personally had a child to share life experiences with but others may choose to still be quite independent of their children when doing things that they want to do. Neither is wrong, it's just that everyone has different opinions and needs.

I personally had a child to share life experiences with but others may choose to still be quite independent of their children when doing things that they want to do.

It's possible to do both.
Just because you have an occasional trip away without your child/ren doesn't mean you aren't also sharing life experiences with them.
It's not all or nothing.

Can you pull your judgy pants up a bit higher??