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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm going to hell aren't I? What the fuck

767 replies

BlackFriYay · 15/11/2023 16:54

9 ish months ago I was seeing somebody I really liked but was being messed around terribly by. I'm talking ghosting after sex repeatedly, blatantly using me for sex but claiming otherwise.. I suspected he had a girlfriend towards the end but didn't have any proof as he "doesn't do social media". (Lies). Champions league wanker behaviour basically.

I thought I was in love with him at the time and it took me months to get over once I finally decided to cut my losses and move on.

I did some work on my self esteem and when he came crawling back months later (a few weeks ago) and text me asking to see me realised I wasn't into him at all so I cheerily replied no thank you, I'm not interested. Yay for me. He said he was gutted bla bla bla. I didn't reply. Forgot all about him.

The other day it was my DD's birthday and I changed my Instagram picture to one of her when she was born. Unbeknownst to me he has been looking at my social media (which I don't have him as a friend on) and he's sent me an inbox this afternoon saying he has seen that picture and is having a meltdown because he thinks I've had a baby recently and wants to know if it's his!

Now obviously I'm not going to let the silly git think he has an actual child but AIBU to blank his message for a few days and let him see how he likes it 😂

OP posts:
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7
ColonelRhubarbBikini · 15/11/2023 17:22

Hahaha this is bloody brilliant. Just desserts!

I think I’d have to reply ‘Cop on to yourself, not everything is about you you know 🙄’

but after like a few days.

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 15/11/2023 17:23

Hahahah this is amazing.

Of course don’t reply for what, like a month?

what a knob!! 🤣🤣

AliceOlive · 15/11/2023 17:25

I wouldn’t want there to be anything hanging in the air between you and him. I’d blast him. Tell him what you think. And that thank heavens no.

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/11/2023 17:25

I’m loving this thread op. Definitely, definitely string him along somehow for a little while with one of these brilliant suggestions. 😈

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 15/11/2023 17:25

Respond in four days saying:

”Which one were you?”

OnlyFannys · 15/11/2023 17:26

This is hilarious, oh such wonderful petty revenge 🤣

I would reply "you would be correct in your deduction that if I had a baby recently it would have been conceived during the time period we were dating"

Minfilia · 15/11/2023 17:26

Brilliant.

Wind the bugger up, its deserved. Maybe not TOO much though!

Heyhoherewegoagain · 15/11/2023 17:26

Totaly · 15/11/2023 17:01

Tell him you’ll let him k ow when the first DNA results come through as you are going in alphabetical order.

This is brilliant 😂😂😂

Definitely make him sweat for a few days though

OhmygodDont · 15/11/2023 17:27

Open it. Check his profile and message his gf if there is one but never reply to him 😂

AbondonedThemePark · 15/11/2023 17:30

This is brilliant!

I'd leave it unopened for a couple of weeks, then open it and never reply.

Diverpanda · 15/11/2023 17:32

Fabulous!

Don't reply, block and ignore 😂

Scottishskifun · 15/11/2023 17:33

Oh this is gold yep definitely make him sweat it OP. I personally would open it so he knows it's been read and not reply for a few days. Then a casual yes your stupid response and block.

Coldbrewnumber2 · 15/11/2023 17:33

Let that CF stew OP.

AubadeIsIt · 15/11/2023 17:34

I wouldn't engage, it'll just encourage further contact, which is not what you want, hopefully. The fact he'd send such a message just confirms he's a walking red flag. Also, creepy that he's still paying attention to your profile pics and obviously hasn't moved on well in his life. I wouldn't stoop to messing with this one, even for fun.

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 15/11/2023 17:34

Haha!!! Yes, totally led him sweat for a few days/weeks!

Mamato29192 · 15/11/2023 17:35

He sounds mental 🤣🤣

CranfordScones · 15/11/2023 17:35

Dissenting voice here: I don't think lowering yourself to his level reflects well on you.

MandyFriend · 15/11/2023 17:35

Priceless! 😂

Ignore him and his massive ego!

Linzi2377 · 15/11/2023 17:35

Reply..” yes this is ..and enter his name” after his daddy haha

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 15/11/2023 17:36

Alternative suggestion -
His modus operandi is to keep picking up and then dropping and ghosting.

Tell me a mum who hasn't posted cute pictures of their adored when they were babes to mark the passage of time.
So if he were that obsessed about it, he would have remembered that you have two children and thought of this as a possible option rather than just jumping straight to "OMG is that my baby?"

I reckon, in fact I bet you £10,
this is just another ploy designed to draw you back into communication with him, so he can pick you up and drop you again. He's smarting from the fact that you dumped him and this is to prove to himself that he still has the power to do it. The fact that he was stalking your social media also points to this.

Don't reply and just Block.
It will eat him up.

OnlyFannys · 15/11/2023 17:36

CranfordScones · 15/11/2023 17:35

Dissenting voice here: I don't think lowering yourself to his level reflects well on you.

Honestly, I could live with that...

ManateeFair · 15/11/2023 17:36

Fulshaw · 15/11/2023 17:07

Maybe reply with something non- committal like ‘oh, I’m really sorry about that, I didn’t know you were on instagram. You must’ve been shocked to see the photo’

Just to drag it out a bit

Edited

Hahaha, this would be excellent

Sparklfairy · 15/11/2023 17:36

Mangledrake · 15/11/2023 17:20

I feel differently about this. He's doing the responsible thing, asking. The message is polite. It's not an off-the-wall response nine months after your relationship.

Just tell him the truth and then block away if you want to. But I wouldn't mess around with this sort of question. You'd want a man to take responsibility for his child. And it's pretty cruel to play with this if he's childless and wants kids.

Understand completely about feeling messed about after a relationship like that, but in my experience you get people out of your head faster if you don't play games or think about revenge. Just no, old photo, move on. Don't give him headspace.

I'm sure he's already had enough of a shock anyway!

AS IF. he's not 'doing the responsible thing' - he's using this 'baby' as an excuse to get in touch after she knocked him back a few weeks ago!

AirFryerFrequentFlyer · 15/11/2023 17:36

timeforbedmethinks · 15/11/2023 16:58

I'd reply saying I thought you didn't have social media!

Oh yes!

AirFryerFrequentFlyer · 15/11/2023 17:37

Totaly · 15/11/2023 17:01

Tell him you’ll let him k ow when the first DNA results come through as you are going in alphabetical order.

Haha love this! Grin