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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm going to hell aren't I? What the fuck

767 replies

BlackFriYay · 15/11/2023 16:54

9 ish months ago I was seeing somebody I really liked but was being messed around terribly by. I'm talking ghosting after sex repeatedly, blatantly using me for sex but claiming otherwise.. I suspected he had a girlfriend towards the end but didn't have any proof as he "doesn't do social media". (Lies). Champions league wanker behaviour basically.

I thought I was in love with him at the time and it took me months to get over once I finally decided to cut my losses and move on.

I did some work on my self esteem and when he came crawling back months later (a few weeks ago) and text me asking to see me realised I wasn't into him at all so I cheerily replied no thank you, I'm not interested. Yay for me. He said he was gutted bla bla bla. I didn't reply. Forgot all about him.

The other day it was my DD's birthday and I changed my Instagram picture to one of her when she was born. Unbeknownst to me he has been looking at my social media (which I don't have him as a friend on) and he's sent me an inbox this afternoon saying he has seen that picture and is having a meltdown because he thinks I've had a baby recently and wants to know if it's his!

Now obviously I'm not going to let the silly git think he has an actual child but AIBU to blank his message for a few days and let him see how he likes it 😂

OP posts:
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7
Original poster
BlackFriYay · 16/11/2023 22:38

CandyLeBonBon · 16/11/2023 22:30

Anyone else reading this with Ray Winstone's voice?

Show quote history

I'm not familiar with Ray Winstone so looked him up on YouTube and now that I have I can imagine it with ease😄

OP posts:
MumTeacherofMany · 16/11/2023 22:44

Omg!!! This is brilliant OP.

Absolutely let him sweat!

Nickinoo22 · 16/11/2023 22:49

backtowinter · 15/11/2023 17:03

I would reply "who is this?"

Then block

This ! perfect 😅

Honeyroar · 16/11/2023 22:51

I think I’d just message him saying “my beautiful, intelligent, kind daughter definitely doesn’t share any of your genes. Oh and she’s five!”

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 16/11/2023 23:03

You are brilliant. What a great story, all of it from you getting back out dating, then getting a handle on how he was behaving and why you didn't need it, then him turning out to be an actual fool and you getting cray cray criticism from women on here.

I want to date you, you sound fantastic!

You'll dine out on this story for years.

CruellasBraVermin · 16/11/2023 23:06

This is the best lonely man loiterer baiting thread ever!

Chanjh25 · 16/11/2023 23:23

Message him and say simply:

’can you send me your postcode for CSA please’

but I’m cruel so…🙃😂

PabloandGustheGreySquirrels · 16/11/2023 23:29

Chanjh25 · 16/11/2023 23:23

Message him and say simply:

’can you send me your postcode for CSA please’

but I’m cruel so…🙃😂

Cancel the cheque!!!!

Willyoujustbequiet · 16/11/2023 23:37

Greyarea12 · 16/11/2023 20:33

Ok well.. I stand by my last posts since your recent updates.

There's something really wrong with you & the women on this thread.

You think that because he ghosted you, 'used you for sex' that it is OK to do what you have done.

You ain't invisible. I see right through you. The story goes.. women seeking revenge. Its not a coincidence that 9 months after the 3 month fling ended you just so happen to post a picture of your teenager as a baby, as your profile pic, the only pic he would be able to see.

The plan - to seek revenge on him by having him believe you had had his baby. Of course though, you had to seek approval from mumsnet and that you did get.

Of course though, you needed to ensure you didn't come off bad so you listed all the wrongs he has done to you and had to put in the post that you weren't going to lead him to beleive you had had his baby. But of course, that is exactly what you did. Only you went further by then telling him his name wasn't on the BC.

Having a baby is the biggest life changing event any person will ever go through. To lead someone on like that for revenge is vile, disgusting and infact makes you abusive.

He doged a bullet with you like. You should be ashamed.

If their is one post the daily mail picks up on, I hope it is this one. To shine a light on the lengths that women will go to to punish and seek revenge on any man who dares to do them wrong.

What you have done is worse and makes you abusive. No matter how many of your buddies on this post want to quote this post and 'defend' you, it doesn't change it.

Gilead called for you.

Under his eye

JulieJones1958 · 16/11/2023 23:55

Brilliant!!!!😂

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 16/11/2023 23:57

Always amusing at the frothing from obviously male posters when a dickhead gets his comeuppance.

I don't know the OP, but she seems smarter than deliberately posting a photo on social media in the hope of catching the attention of a man who said he didn't have social media, and who contacted her recently and she rebuffed.

I mean, as a revenge plan, trying to catch the attention of someone on a place they don't use would be a pretty shitty one.

CaramacFiend · 17/11/2023 00:06

I'm conflicted tbh.

Kneejerk reaction is that he deserves it but OTOH I don't believe anybody owes a relationship to somebody they've slept with on multiple occasions.

If it were a woman saying she'd had a fling with a guy but didn't feel they were compatible as partners I feel people would support her and tell her she doesn't owe him anything. I think they'd likely look dimly on attempts to emotionally manipulative from the man.

Isthisreallydoable · 17/11/2023 00:22

Love this!! Made me laugh tonight! Thanks for sharing!

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 17/11/2023 00:26

CaramacFiend · 17/11/2023 00:06

I'm conflicted tbh.

Kneejerk reaction is that he deserves it but OTOH I don't believe anybody owes a relationship to somebody they've slept with on multiple occasions.

If it were a woman saying she'd had a fling with a guy but didn't feel they were compatible as partners I feel people would support her and tell her she doesn't owe him anything. I think they'd likely look dimly on attempts to emotionally manipulative from the man.

If it was the other way round people would have got as far as the woman social media stalking someone that had told her no recently and branded her a psycho stalker.

Lunaticmess · 17/11/2023 00:54

Wow! Could he be any more self-important? I would completely ignore that message forever.

RantyAnty · 17/11/2023 01:02

Greyarea12 · 16/11/2023 20:33

Ok well.. I stand by my last posts since your recent updates.

There's something really wrong with you & the women on this thread.

You think that because he ghosted you, 'used you for sex' that it is OK to do what you have done.

You ain't invisible. I see right through you. The story goes.. women seeking revenge. Its not a coincidence that 9 months after the 3 month fling ended you just so happen to post a picture of your teenager as a baby, as your profile pic, the only pic he would be able to see.

The plan - to seek revenge on him by having him believe you had had his baby. Of course though, you had to seek approval from mumsnet and that you did get.

Of course though, you needed to ensure you didn't come off bad so you listed all the wrongs he has done to you and had to put in the post that you weren't going to lead him to beleive you had had his baby. But of course, that is exactly what you did. Only you went further by then telling him his name wasn't on the BC.

Having a baby is the biggest life changing event any person will ever go through. To lead someone on like that for revenge is vile, disgusting and infact makes you abusive.

He doged a bullet with you like. You should be ashamed.

If their is one post the daily mail picks up on, I hope it is this one. To shine a light on the lengths that women will go to to punish and seek revenge on any man who dares to do them wrong.

What you have done is worse and makes you abusive. No matter how many of your buddies on this post want to quote this post and 'defend' you, it doesn't change it.

Awww another thick incel got his feelers hurt

MarvellousMonsters · 17/11/2023 02:24

BlackFriYay · 16/11/2023 15:40

Aaaaaaand curtains 😬😐

I had to put him out his misery just incase he was genuine and had a heart attack or something.

Jesus 😂😂😂

Oh god his spelling/grammar is shit too. Losing his breathe and feeling faint what a spectacular asshat.

Thank you for this thread, it was brilliant fun, I don't think you're going to hell, but I'm pretty sure he should!

saythatagaintome · 17/11/2023 02:24

He’d make a great dad, OP! He’s engaging you, poor man!

Afteropening · 17/11/2023 05:53

ah he smokes too much cannabis. He’s a caner. explains a lot. sounds like catch! 😂 . how old is he?

does he have any children already?

CheekyHobson · 17/11/2023 06:45

@Greyarea12
To shine a light on the lengths that women will go to to punish and seek revenge on any man who dares to do them wrong.

Those naughty naughty ladies, messing with Any Man's right to do them wrong without comeback whenever it takes their fancy 😂

SuePurrkins · 17/11/2023 07:08

Greyarea12 · 16/11/2023 20:33

Ok well.. I stand by my last posts since your recent updates.

There's something really wrong with you & the women on this thread.

You think that because he ghosted you, 'used you for sex' that it is OK to do what you have done.

You ain't invisible. I see right through you. The story goes.. women seeking revenge. Its not a coincidence that 9 months after the 3 month fling ended you just so happen to post a picture of your teenager as a baby, as your profile pic, the only pic he would be able to see.

The plan - to seek revenge on him by having him believe you had had his baby. Of course though, you had to seek approval from mumsnet and that you did get.

Of course though, you needed to ensure you didn't come off bad so you listed all the wrongs he has done to you and had to put in the post that you weren't going to lead him to beleive you had had his baby. But of course, that is exactly what you did. Only you went further by then telling him his name wasn't on the BC.

Having a baby is the biggest life changing event any person will ever go through. To lead someone on like that for revenge is vile, disgusting and infact makes you abusive.

He doged a bullet with you like. You should be ashamed.

If their is one post the daily mail picks up on, I hope it is this one. To shine a light on the lengths that women will go to to punish and seek revenge on any man who dares to do them wrong.

What you have done is worse and makes you abusive. No matter how many of your buddies on this post want to quote this post and 'defend' you, it doesn't change it.

Just bugger off and find some stairs to breast boobily towards.

Original poster
BlackFriYay · 17/11/2023 07:59

CaramacFiend · 17/11/2023 00:06

I'm conflicted tbh.

Kneejerk reaction is that he deserves it but OTOH I don't believe anybody owes a relationship to somebody they've slept with on multiple occasions.

If it were a woman saying she'd had a fling with a guy but didn't feel they were compatible as partners I feel people would support her and tell her she doesn't owe him anything. I think they'd likely look dimly on attempts to emotionally manipulative from the man.

I do agree with you that nobody owes a relationship or should enter into one they don't want to be in, but in this I very much believed we were - he made me think we were.

As for compatibility, he mirrored my interests down to a tee. Everything I liked he liked. Everything I was interested in he was interested in. Politics, books, films, random documentaries I mentioned from donkeys years ago - he'd seen it too and loved it. Etc. He would say things like how he is so amazed by our similarities, we're exactly the same.

Obviously I can see now it was all lip service and tactical mirroring, but he did a good job of it.

OP posts:
Ellanur · 17/11/2023 08:01

Thanks for your post, i really do apruciate it.

ladyamy · 17/11/2023 08:01

I wouldn’t make out it was his, but it leave him to sweat for a while 🤓

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