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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm going to hell aren't I? What the fuck

767 replies

BlackFriYay · 15/11/2023 16:54

9 ish months ago I was seeing somebody I really liked but was being messed around terribly by. I'm talking ghosting after sex repeatedly, blatantly using me for sex but claiming otherwise.. I suspected he had a girlfriend towards the end but didn't have any proof as he "doesn't do social media". (Lies). Champions league wanker behaviour basically.

I thought I was in love with him at the time and it took me months to get over once I finally decided to cut my losses and move on.

I did some work on my self esteem and when he came crawling back months later (a few weeks ago) and text me asking to see me realised I wasn't into him at all so I cheerily replied no thank you, I'm not interested. Yay for me. He said he was gutted bla bla bla. I didn't reply. Forgot all about him.

The other day it was my DD's birthday and I changed my Instagram picture to one of her when she was born. Unbeknownst to me he has been looking at my social media (which I don't have him as a friend on) and he's sent me an inbox this afternoon saying he has seen that picture and is having a meltdown because he thinks I've had a baby recently and wants to know if it's his!

Now obviously I'm not going to let the silly git think he has an actual child but AIBU to blank his message for a few days and let him see how he likes it 😂

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
RantyAnty · 16/11/2023 20:51

Well done OP!

I thoroughly enjoyed you sticking it to this twat.

He certainly is so full of himself!

Ignore the handmaidens and the incel types trying to lay some type of bizarre guilt trip on you while defending a stranger twat.

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 16/11/2023 20:55

Greyarea12 · 16/11/2023 20:33

Ok well.. I stand by my last posts since your recent updates.

There's something really wrong with you & the women on this thread.

You think that because he ghosted you, 'used you for sex' that it is OK to do what you have done.

You ain't invisible. I see right through you. The story goes.. women seeking revenge. Its not a coincidence that 9 months after the 3 month fling ended you just so happen to post a picture of your teenager as a baby, as your profile pic, the only pic he would be able to see.

The plan - to seek revenge on him by having him believe you had had his baby. Of course though, you had to seek approval from mumsnet and that you did get.

Of course though, you needed to ensure you didn't come off bad so you listed all the wrongs he has done to you and had to put in the post that you weren't going to lead him to beleive you had had his baby. But of course, that is exactly what you did. Only you went further by then telling him his name wasn't on the BC.

Having a baby is the biggest life changing event any person will ever go through. To lead someone on like that for revenge is vile, disgusting and infact makes you abusive.

He doged a bullet with you like. You should be ashamed.

If their is one post the daily mail picks up on, I hope it is this one. To shine a light on the lengths that women will go to to punish and seek revenge on any man who dares to do them wrong.

What you have done is worse and makes you abusive. No matter how many of your buddies on this post want to quote this post and 'defend' you, it doesn't change it.

So I've finally caught up and seen what OP has done. It's not what I'd have done, but it's funny and will hopefully make him think a bit more carefully about how he treats women in future.

Its not a coincidence that 9 months after the 3 month fling ended you just so happen to post a picture of your teenager as a baby, as your profile pic, the only pic he would be able to see.

It was a coincidence as that's when the kid's birthday is! Baby pics, being very hard to identify the adult or older child from, are the safest photos of children to put online from a privacy perspective.

The story goes.. women seeking revenge.

Oh look, more of that "bitches be crazy" bullshit. She put him out of his misery within minutes. It's hardly what I'd call revenge.

You think that because he ghosted you, 'used you for sex' that it is OK to do what you have done.

Yes actually, it is OK for OP to do that. Using a woman for sex can have serious consequences for the woman that a man cannot ever face, like pregnancy. Before OP answered, he felt, for a few hours, worry and fear similar to that felt by a woman for weeks when she realises that he didn't use the condom he said he would(*) and is waiting for her period won't come. When she messaged back, he felt for a few short minutes a terror akin to that felt by a woman facing an unwanted pregnancy. If this episode makes him think more carefully about his condom use and how he treats women in future, then it was well worth it. Men need to stop treating us like wank sheathes to be tricked into sex with empty promises and lovebombing.

(*) aka stealthing, aka rape.

LalaPaloosa · 16/11/2023 20:57

Antisocialneighbour · 15/11/2023 18:57

This is hilarious.

if you haven’t replied yet I’d say ‘I didn’t think you had social media which is why I never got in touch to tell you’ and then just leave him hanging to fuck with his head even more.

I couldn’t agree more!

FreddieMercurysCat · 16/11/2023 20:59

I’m evil. I would delete, block and never, ever reply.

MayThe4th · 16/11/2023 21:00

I Don’t know whether @Greyarea12 ·* has a posting history, but assuming not is it possible that it’s the twat in question? I mean the lack of the ability to spell is very similar.

And if not I presume it has form for this kind of posting?

SerafinasGoose · 16/11/2023 21:01

RantyAnty · 16/11/2023 20:51

Well done OP!

I thoroughly enjoyed you sticking it to this twat.

He certainly is so full of himself!

Ignore the handmaidens and the incel types trying to lay some type of bizarre guilt trip on you while defending a stranger twat.

Happens on every thread involving men behaving like dicks to women, unfortunately including ones that are far less comical than this and posted by those genuinely suffering at the hands of manipulative, unpleasant men. At least this one is so gormless he's funny.

If anyone's completely see-through, it's guys like this. They are a type. Real howler when one of them tries his silly games once too often and meets his match at last!

This thread is the gift that keeps on giving. Fan-bloody-tactic stuff🍿🍿🍿

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 16/11/2023 21:01

MargotBamborough · 16/11/2023 18:02

Given that his message didn't read, "I know we were really careful about using condoms every single time but given the timing I have to ask, I'm not the father, am I?" is it fair to assume he doesn't take a great deal of care not to create potential crotch goblins with every woman he has sex with and then ghosts?

💯 Men are so happy to let us do the contraception and then lose their shit, scream "bitch trapped me into fatherhood", and coerce abortion afterwards.

Use a condom FFS, it's not hard.

SurprisedWithAHorse · 16/11/2023 21:04

MayThe4th · 16/11/2023 21:00

I Don’t know whether @Greyarea12 ·* has a posting history, but assuming not is it possible that it’s the twat in question? I mean the lack of the ability to spell is very similar.

And if not I presume it has form for this kind of posting?

God knows, they all sound like a Poundshop Vito Corleone.

cockadoodledandy · 16/11/2023 21:05

"Hi [knobhead],

Oh, actually you're right. Let me work out my dates and I'll get back to you."

Then leave him hanging for a while.

jobie70 · 16/11/2023 21:05

Hilarious… don’t answer him… EVER!!😂😂

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 16/11/2023 21:08

Sweepies · 16/11/2023 12:16

"I am no longer interested in the man" OP cries as they write a massive paragraph after paragraph about how uninterested they are. I hope you've told him you haven't had his baby by now. Imagine when your DS grows up and a girl winds him up doing something similar to him? How would you feel then? Just tell the bloke ffs you are coming off as fully mental.

I would imagine that OP's response to DS telling her that he thinks he might be a father by a woman he lovebombed and then pumped and dumped, ghosted for months, and then tried to hook up with again, would start with something like "I raised you to treat women better than that".

Firebug007 · 16/11/2023 21:11

I was with you until I read the actual message and it's quite sweet really and now I think you'd be a bit mean not to go back to him.

Firebug007 · 16/11/2023 21:11

I mean go back to him with a message, not get back together with him!

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 16/11/2023 21:13

SurprisedWithAHorse · 16/11/2023 21:04

God knows, they all sound like a Poundshop Vito Corleone.

Show quote history

I resent that comment!

wayyour · 16/11/2023 21:13

Can't believe I've only just spotted this thread. Brilliant @BlackFriYay Grin

WLaura · 16/11/2023 21:14

Oh my I love these replies don't reply at all girl!!! Or maybe like a few weeks later (or longer) just change your d/p to a more "recent" one of her or like the celebs do and just do back of her head if u don't want her actual face of her sat below the Christmas tree 😉 or u could b a total dick depending how cheeky and naughty u wanna b and b like am not sure ill let you know in a few months OR sorry who is this your face looks familiar have we met before.

SurprisedWithAHorse · 16/11/2023 21:18

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 16/11/2023 21:13

I resent that comment!

Show quote history

🤣

Forgive me, Godfather. On this, your daughter's wedding day. Actually I saw you posted a baby photo of her on Insta to mark the date and now some plonker outside has some questions...

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 16/11/2023 21:26

Night409 · 16/11/2023 19:59

When did I say I was pregnant for 3 years?

You do know that’s biologically impossible don’t you?

I’m sorry that I have morals and you and other posters don’t.

This must be the most exciting thing to have happened to you in a while.

Show quote history

Your ex would also have known that you couldn't be pregnant for three years, therefore you had no need at all to reply to him. Yet you did reply, to what could only plausibly be an attempt to circumvent your boundaries.

I think you need to work on your own boundaries, not undermine other women's.

Superduper02 · 16/11/2023 21:30

Totaly · 15/11/2023 17:01

Tell him you’ll let him k ow when the first DNA results come through as you are going in alphabetical order.

Bahahaha! This one!!

Original poster
BlackFriYay · 16/11/2023 21:40

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia

I'm in bits, If I didn't put down my yoghurt I'd have been wearing it 😂

OP posts:
VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 16/11/2023 21:43

Ellanur · 16/11/2023 20:23

My 9 year old son shows signs of autism, to cut long story short he has always been a little different, but recently has been biting his hand, i was shocked to see the severity today, was too busy with pre teen who sucks up all my energy. His school pushed for a diagnosis during covid, but it was only an online consultation with a professor who didn't diagnose him based on the fact that he has a lot of concentration when drawing. He just recormended a course for hand skills like cutting, which he didn't get, my dh was over the moon as he was against a diagnosis as he believes it will make him worse, my nephew played up really bad after he was diagnosed and dropped out of secondary school. My son is quite emotional if anyone ever suggests to see a specialist he even says "The professor says i am fine" His school work is a little under average although dh does a lot of work with him, does a lot of puzzles. I was about to get tuition for him, but i have a bigger problem, if he can't concentrate then he is not going to learn. Please what do you suggest shall i push for a diagnosis or carry on, my son is very emotional about it, also if he becomes worse dh will blame me. I know i sound stupid , but sometimes i feel 😣 helpless.

Wrong thread @Ellanur but I suggest getting a diagnostic assessment for your son and a divorce from your husband.

If DS is engaging in harmful stimming behaviours then he needs professional help in learning to manage the urge to stim and using less-harmful stimming techniques.

If your DH is not on Team What's Right For His DS then he should be kicked out of Team Ellanur's Family. You cannot afford to have someone working against your son in your house.

he was against a diagnosis as he believes it will make him worse, my nephew played up really bad after he was diagnosed and dropped out of secondary school

Your nephew would have probably dropped put of school anyway. At least now he might get support with getting alternative education provision. It boils my piss to see "refusing to expend huge amounts of mental effort on masking after getting a diagnosis" framed as "playing up". It shows a total lack of empathy with the autistic person. You wouldn't call someone "lazy" if they had been in constant pain when walking unaided, got a relevant diagnosis, and immediately gone out and bought a walking frame. Unmasking is a similar "I'm not like everyone else so I'm not going to wear myself out pretending to be" reasoning.

I'm autistic and was diagnosed late last year. The diagnosis unlocks help and also gives me some peace about all the times I've said the wrong thing, done the wrong thing, struggled so hard to be like others and go to loud places that I hate. It's given me peace about the sensory overloads and consequent shutdowns and meltdowns. Not being diagnosed as a child has harmed me.

rosieambu · 16/11/2023 21:44

Greyarea12 · 16/11/2023 20:33

Ok well.. I stand by my last posts since your recent updates.

There's something really wrong with you & the women on this thread.

You think that because he ghosted you, 'used you for sex' that it is OK to do what you have done.

You ain't invisible. I see right through you. The story goes.. women seeking revenge. Its not a coincidence that 9 months after the 3 month fling ended you just so happen to post a picture of your teenager as a baby, as your profile pic, the only pic he would be able to see.

The plan - to seek revenge on him by having him believe you had had his baby. Of course though, you had to seek approval from mumsnet and that you did get.

Of course though, you needed to ensure you didn't come off bad so you listed all the wrongs he has done to you and had to put in the post that you weren't going to lead him to beleive you had had his baby. But of course, that is exactly what you did. Only you went further by then telling him his name wasn't on the BC.

Having a baby is the biggest life changing event any person will ever go through. To lead someone on like that for revenge is vile, disgusting and infact makes you abusive.

He doged a bullet with you like. You should be ashamed.

If their is one post the daily mail picks up on, I hope it is this one. To shine a light on the lengths that women will go to to punish and seek revenge on any man who dares to do them wrong.

What you have done is worse and makes you abusive. No matter how many of your buddies on this post want to quote this post and 'defend' you, it doesn't change it.

What an odd post.

CandyLeBonBon · 16/11/2023 22:25

*You mean the one that I agreed with you on.

Ok 🤔*

@Night409 The one where you're insisting her DD made a mistake when she didn't. And telling op that things must happen in X way, because Y happened when you've been told several times that's not the case. The one where you're insistent that you know what OP's DD saw, better than anyone else.

That one.

CandyLeBonBon · 16/11/2023 22:30

Greyarea12 · 16/11/2023 20:33

Ok well.. I stand by my last posts since your recent updates.

There's something really wrong with you & the women on this thread.

You think that because he ghosted you, 'used you for sex' that it is OK to do what you have done.

You ain't invisible. I see right through you. The story goes.. women seeking revenge. Its not a coincidence that 9 months after the 3 month fling ended you just so happen to post a picture of your teenager as a baby, as your profile pic, the only pic he would be able to see.

The plan - to seek revenge on him by having him believe you had had his baby. Of course though, you had to seek approval from mumsnet and that you did get.

Of course though, you needed to ensure you didn't come off bad so you listed all the wrongs he has done to you and had to put in the post that you weren't going to lead him to beleive you had had his baby. But of course, that is exactly what you did. Only you went further by then telling him his name wasn't on the BC.

Having a baby is the biggest life changing event any person will ever go through. To lead someone on like that for revenge is vile, disgusting and infact makes you abusive.

He doged a bullet with you like. You should be ashamed.

If their is one post the daily mail picks up on, I hope it is this one. To shine a light on the lengths that women will go to to punish and seek revenge on any man who dares to do them wrong.

What you have done is worse and makes you abusive. No matter how many of your buddies on this post want to quote this post and 'defend' you, it doesn't change it.

Anyone else reading this with Ray Winstone's voice?

Hydrangeasneedtrimming · 16/11/2023 22:32

timeforbedmethinks · 15/11/2023 16:58

I'd reply saying I thought you didn't have social media!

Haha this! But wait a few days / a week first!