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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm going to hell aren't I? What the fuck

767 replies

BlackFriYay · 15/11/2023 16:54

9 ish months ago I was seeing somebody I really liked but was being messed around terribly by. I'm talking ghosting after sex repeatedly, blatantly using me for sex but claiming otherwise.. I suspected he had a girlfriend towards the end but didn't have any proof as he "doesn't do social media". (Lies). Champions league wanker behaviour basically.

I thought I was in love with him at the time and it took me months to get over once I finally decided to cut my losses and move on.

I did some work on my self esteem and when he came crawling back months later (a few weeks ago) and text me asking to see me realised I wasn't into him at all so I cheerily replied no thank you, I'm not interested. Yay for me. He said he was gutted bla bla bla. I didn't reply. Forgot all about him.

The other day it was my DD's birthday and I changed my Instagram picture to one of her when she was born. Unbeknownst to me he has been looking at my social media (which I don't have him as a friend on) and he's sent me an inbox this afternoon saying he has seen that picture and is having a meltdown because he thinks I've had a baby recently and wants to know if it's his!

Now obviously I'm not going to let the silly git think he has an actual child but AIBU to blank his message for a few days and let him see how he likes it 😂

OP posts:
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7
RedToothBrush · 16/11/2023 18:58

Oh what a shame you've already put him out of his misery already.

I think I'd have let him seriously sweat and said.

"I thought you were the one who didn't do social media. How come you are stalking me on Facebook? Is that cos your girlfriend split up with you? Any other relevant information, you'd care to share with me?"

And would have made no reference whatsoever to the baby.

But hell, the birth certificate line was pretty good.

Might be worth your while increasing your privacy settings from public to private on FB mind.

Bella5C · 16/11/2023 19:07

Tbh I wouldn’t reply. He sounds immature and is using that ridiculous question to worm his way back in. Probably gets rejected a lot. I’d leave him to sweat. He says he got paranoid. That’s a good quality to have. Along the same lines as being unable to take no for an answer and move on. Ignore him.

JAVALAVA · 16/11/2023 19:12

Excellent response op! 👏

Loopylambs · 16/11/2023 19:22

Shame you’ve already replied . I would wait a few days and then say , “sorry for late reply , busy and sleepless nights up with baby . I’m glad you’ve made contact , I expect you will need bank details to pay child maintenance” 😂

Ger1atricMillennial · 16/11/2023 19:22

ghost him.....

NalafromtheLionKing · 16/11/2023 19:26

BlackFriYay · 16/11/2023 14:15

I've opened the message and said "don't worry, your name is not on the birth certificate of that baby" ..I just had to. It hasn't left my mind since PP suggested it yesterday 😂

I know. I'm the devil incarnation. Wicked, wicked woman.

Don't worry, I'll make sure he knows she isn't his. I'm hoping he will feel very, very silly.

Edited to add: I will be blocking him, on both accounts, and setting my IG to private now.

Edited

I love this reply 😆Well done, OP!

NalafromtheLionKing · 16/11/2023 19:29

Although I must be crueller than you as I would have just blocked him after those replies he sent 🧐

Ann444 · 16/11/2023 19:30

I love it. Keep him sweating.

Chipsahoyagain · 16/11/2023 19:31

🤣this needs to be in classics!

MayThe4th · 16/11/2023 19:35

VeronicaSawyer89 · 16/11/2023 17:58

JFC! The "baby" is fucking 12 years old! Is OP not allowed to post a picture of her daughter as a baby on her daughter's birthday on her own social media? Especially considering this man is NOT one of her followers?

Show quote history

Ah but @Night409 · was apparently pregnant for three years and chose to keep in contact with her ex. Rather than blocking him.

There are some pots and kettles in her posts. ;)

LMNOP100 · 16/11/2023 19:37

Hilarious, I hope he sh*ts a brick 🤣

LoreleiG · 16/11/2023 19:53

What a dickhead! Glad you have blocked him. I know his type.

Night409 · 16/11/2023 19:59

MayThe4th · 16/11/2023 19:35

Ah but @Night409 · was apparently pregnant for three years and chose to keep in contact with her ex. Rather than blocking him.

There are some pots and kettles in her posts. ;)

Show quote history
happy jerry! jerry! jerry! GIF by The Jerry Springer Show

When did I say I was pregnant for 3 years?

You do know that’s biologically impossible don’t you?

I’m sorry that I have morals and you and other posters don’t.

This must be the most exciting thing to have happened to you in a while.

housethatbuiltme · 16/11/2023 19:59

BlackFriYay · 15/11/2023 19:24

Indeed I did.

Two words, love bombing.

He was the first person I'd been with since splitting from children's father who I was with for eons.

It was incredibly embarrassing coming out of the other side and seeing it for what it was. I'm not usually the gullible type but there we go.

Edited to add - I categorically did not give off ANY bunny boiler vibes! I didn't chase when he ghosted and I certainly didn't tell him I loved him.

I posted about him in relationships and poured my heart out over there to get it out of my system 😂

Edited
Show quote history

There would be absoloutly nothing wrong with telling a guy you have been sleeping with for three months already that you love him... thats not remotely bunny boiler.

Only on mumsnet would the batshit idea that your a 'crazy bunny boiler' for saying a common affectionate phrase in a relationship to the person you have been letting park their dick in you for quarter of a year be tolerated.

I don't know anyone in real life that was together for 3 months and so repressed they where not saying things like 'love you' publicly. Like if you don't have feelings 3 months in thats a pretty clear sign you just don't like each other.

Night409 · 16/11/2023 20:02

CandyLeBonBon · 16/11/2023 18:46

@MayThe4th attempts have been made to rewrite the OP's DD's version of events on the thread about her dd misgendering a teacher.

You mean the one that I agreed with you on.

Ok 🤔

Zerosleep · 16/11/2023 20:06

Omg this is hilarious. I would just ignore and not bother replying. He needs to get a grip, the same as a number of posters on here, you haven’t done anything wrong putting up a photo of one of your DCs as a baby. What a total dick he is. Just ignore and move on, he can think what he wants.

beatrix1234 · 16/11/2023 20:11

"Sorry but I'm very picky when choosing the genes for my child so it's not yours, sleep well. x"

Hibiscrubbed · 16/11/2023 20:12

@Night409 yiure coming across a bit bonkers here, especially as you double down.

SurprisedWithAHorse · 16/11/2023 20:13

Night409 · 16/11/2023 19:59

When did I say I was pregnant for 3 years?

You do know that’s biologically impossible don’t you?

I’m sorry that I have morals and you and other posters don’t.

This must be the most exciting thing to have happened to you in a while.

Show quote history

It's very clear that there's no chance you've ever been pregnant at all. Three year gestation isn't the only biologically impossible thing...

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 16/11/2023 20:14

Night409 · 16/11/2023 10:45

OP spent the time to start a thread on MN, asking whether she should make him sweat for a few days.

That sort of game playing would be fine if she hadn’t spent months being heart broken.

She then said he must have been thinking about it since 4pm - but she had also been thinking about it and gone out of her way to make and update a thread about it.
So she is more invested in this than he is.

No one’s trying to safeguard her life.
I’m just reminding her that there are many posters on here who have very sad lives and would not care if OP got hurt or made a twat out of herself, as long as they got some entertainment.

Any man who has hurt you, is not worth playing games with.

Anyone who isn’t looking for some entertainment would tell OP to tell him no straight away, block/delete and then have nothing to do with him.
Not drag it out so he keeps contacting her.

Show quote history

That sort of game playing would be fine if she hadn’t spent months being heart broken.

What's OP's past emotional state got to do with the "fine"ness of her current or future actions? Absolutely nothing, that's what! Your comments here are nothing but that tired old "bitches be crazy" trope.

His past actions, OTOH, well justify him being ghosted. If that frightens him, then good! Perhaps he'll learn to treat women decently in future.

Twilight7777 · 16/11/2023 20:15

🤣 just caught up with the thread, I would definitely have made him wait a bit longer, but in any case, it sounds like he’s trying to get you back on side.

Hoppysue · 16/11/2023 20:17

More to the point… why are you putting photos of your child on social media???

Twilight7777 · 16/11/2023 20:19

A ‘bit’ bonkers?

Hibiscrubbed · 16/11/2023 20:21

“That’s my teenager as a baby, dickhead 😂”

Ellanur · 16/11/2023 20:23

My 9 year old son shows signs of autism, to cut long story short he has always been a little different, but recently has been biting his hand, i was shocked to see the severity today, was too busy with pre teen who sucks up all my energy. His school pushed for a diagnosis during covid, but it was only an online consultation with a professor who didn't diagnose him based on the fact that he has a lot of concentration when drawing. He just recormended a course for hand skills like cutting, which he didn't get, my dh was over the moon as he was against a diagnosis as he believes it will make him worse, my nephew played up really bad after he was diagnosed and dropped out of secondary school. My son is quite emotional if anyone ever suggests to see a specialist he even says "The professor says i am fine" His school work is a little under average although dh does a lot of work with him, does a lot of puzzles. I was about to get tuition for him, but i have a bigger problem, if he can't concentrate then he is not going to learn. Please what do you suggest shall i push for a diagnosis or carry on, my son is very emotional about it, also if he becomes worse dh will blame me. I know i sound stupid , but sometimes i feel 😣 helpless.

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