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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be embarrassed to tell anyone in real life of my major achievemen?

250 replies

10andcounting · 15/11/2023 12:13

Today I've achieved a goal that I set 7 years ago.

Finally into BMI overweight category for the first time in my adult life.

I'm 50ish and have been trying for so long to achieve this.

I have no siblings and although plenty of close friends my humiliation at being fat for so long isn't something I share.

I lost a lot 5 years ago, then got a fuckit mentality and put 2/3rds of what I lost back on like a decking idiot.

I've battled and battled and finally hit that 30 today.

I know 30 is still unacceptable but it's a big step for me in the right direction.

I'm sure people still look at me and judge, but I try not to let it affect me.

Happy to be candid about this but possibly not a full AMA.

I feel quite flat about it to be honest and not sure why.

I think it's because I don't have a suitable confidante, so maybe there's folk on here who I can anonymously share with and they can empathise, maybe that'll lift my spirit and inspire the last push?

OP posts:
Doormatnomore · 16/11/2023 20:52

Lots of people dream of being just overweight? Maybe you were one. Imagine back to before you started, if you could have snapped your fingers to get where you are you would have, I would have too!

you’re in a great place. Enjoy your achievement

Isometimeswonder · 16/11/2023 20:55

10andcounting · 15/11/2023 12:19

Oh thank you all. 💐

I thought there'd be some naysayers as I shouldn't be being proud of 30.

Tell us how you did it.
I'm asking that because I think if you see what you've achieved written down, it may make you see how well you've done!

MiMiChuna · 16/11/2023 21:15

You deserve to be proud of this. It's a wonderful achievement! I'm glad you shared it. It's made me smile.

I lost some weight over covid with one thing & another. It's not easy for some of us! I made lifestyle changes so the results were slow but 4 yrs later living a healthier life, feeling younger & kept the weight off. Sine days are easier than others and some days are still 'sod it' days to get back on the wagon the next day. And that's OK!

So I salute you @10andcounting, you've done really well 🙌

Wynston · 16/11/2023 21:16

Just wanted to say I think you are doing amazing and am now feeling inspired get my bmi back in check so thank you for sharing x

SmugglersHaunt · 16/11/2023 21:19

Congratulations!🎉

BubblesMacgee · 16/11/2023 21:32

Brilliantly done OP - that is a stack of very hard work! And you do what feels right for you with who you tell.

Trishthedish · 16/11/2023 21:51

Bloody well done you. It’s a tough thing to do and you’ve achieved it. Deserves a damn big round of applause. Good luck going forward

Londonscallingme · 16/11/2023 21:57

Well done OP, that’s a great achievement 👏

Heb1996 · 16/11/2023 22:39

@10andcounting I think you’ve done amazing!! Never underestimate what an achievement this is. You should be so proud of yourself!! And it’s not about your size or how much you weigh or even how you look. This is about how you feel and it’s about your life and health. And I bet you feel amazing!! And so you should!! I wish I could do the same! I was 10 stone all my life before I started the IVF rollercoaster and I ended it at 15 stone with a baby which was amazing so I didn’t care about the weight. Then I had another baby and went up to 17 stone after that and I just cannot seem to control my weight any longer. I feel hopeless. But well done to you. I’m going to start trying again.

Mamanyt · 17/11/2023 01:31

My dear OP, I am so very, very proud of you! I, too, have struggled with my weight all of my teen years and adult life! I am now 70 years old, and just got on my scales. I am down to (US weights) 221 pounds! STILL over where I want to be by 50-60 pounds, but...I started out at 302! That's 80 pounds down! PLEASE celebrate where you are, not chastise yourself over where you should be!

Ruthietuthie · 17/11/2023 01:35

That's wonderful, OP! Very well done. I am SO PROUD of you (and wish I could follow in your footsteps...)

Reallytryingtobemorepositive · 17/11/2023 01:40

OP CONGRATULATIONS!!! You should be soooo freaking proud of yourself. The weight loss ‘war’ a lot of us fight is one of many battles and you have won a great one! I am totally here cheering you on. I can’t say keep on going because personally I used to hate people saying it.. keep on going.. what?!! 🙄 like I’m going to stop now after all this hard work, I found it super patronising, obviously you want to hit your goal! you are so close!!

It is such a hard thing to do, stick to and maintain when you’ve battled with being overweight your whole life!

And you’ve just passed a MAJOR milestone!!! You have EXCELLED!! I wish i could celebrate it with you and shout it from the roof tops hun!!! I totally feel you, I served my tour in the extreme weight loss war and am currently fighting in the, maintain the weight loss war 😂 I also totally get the flat feeling. It doesn’t feel enough, even when I got to my lightest I still felt like I should loose more. Loosing half your body weight is a bit of a wild ride isn’t it? Because that’s basically what you’ve done! Wow op. 30 bmi is so so amazing you have knocked 23 bloody points off your bmi that’s insane!!! Most people would struggle to do that. You have sacrificed and you have succeed. You are really not far from that exact halfway point.

Now my cold hard numbers to help you feel better and that you’re not alone, hopefully!! Annnnnnd for some comparison.. My highest weight was 28st 5lb, bmi 56 😳 My lowest weight was 12st 2, 24.3 bmi. I was very fixated on hitting healthy bmi. The nhs bmi calculator says that my ‘healthy’ bmi should be between 9st 3 and 12st 7. But at 12st 2 apparently I looked like I was dying.. 🤣 according to my sister! To be fair a lot of my bones were sticking out, which I slightly enjoyed a weeny bit for the first in my life. I was happy at that weight that I had hit ‘healthy’ range but I didn’t recognise myself at all in the mirror. Tbh I looked unwell. I looked much older and my face was sunken and angular. Everyone around me was telling I needed to put a bit of weight back on. I didn’t like it after being so rigid but I did and I usually maintain my happy weight between 12st10-13st2 which classifies me as a bmi of 25.4 at 12.11, which puts me in the overweight category by the numbers but only just. But I’ve put on weight in the last couple of months.. I’m looking at you 2 all inclusive holidays in August and October.. it was my 40th this year, we treated ourselves! so I’m currently standing at 13.9 bmi 27.3 but I’m working on that.. like I said it’s a war of many battles. Funny enough my dad gave me that analogy for it! But I told you the numbers for two reasons. One so you could see you’re not alone in your journey and two so you could see you’re perhaps not as far away as you think. Start looking in the mirror, start buying yourself some new clothes. Healthy bmi is just a guideline. A doctor told me when I was talking about my aim for at least 24.9 bmi, I really wanted in that ‘healthy’ range! That when you have been very overweight, for a very long time, 10 stone plus. Your body, your bone structure changes to support your weight. So someone that’s weighed in the ranges of 20+ stones for a long time. Will never have the same body composition as a smaller person that’s always been that weight, even if they get to the same weight. There bones apparently will weigh more, I wasn’t sure if this was true but this was a doctor at a London hospital. Someone from those weight ranges will also have a certain amount of excess skin weight to consider too. Sooooooo if you look at it that way maybe your nearer the finish line than you think😉

I hope seeing you’re not alone in the trenches has helped! Xx

ps.. for those asking for how to. Disclaimer I’m no dietician or health professional 😂 i’m just sharing what worked for me. Because I would have liked if someone had given me this advice a very long time ago. Walking, starting small, i know it feels like an effort but just start. Once you’ve done it for a while your’ll start to enjoy the achievement of it. I never thought I would, but I do, I like walking now.. eek who am I 😂 I got an app on my phone called zombies run, (I walked I did not run, I turned off chases. I have a few chronic illnesses and a back problem and use a crutch) which works with your music and breaks in bits of story as you walk. i prefer in the morning before work. Worked up to 10,000 steps a day and do it every day. The app helped as I wanted to know what happened next and I could only use it when I walked. I swam a couple of times a week too but haven’t in a while, I eased off the exercise when I was told I needed to put weight on. Move as much as you can even when waiting for the kettle, burn as many calories as you can walk in circles when your waiting have a little boogie whilst no one’s watching.. I have a rebounder, for when i can’t get out as much to walk. My fitness pal, for the first year or two I tracked every single crumb I put in my mouth. Use it until you can start to truly gauge the quantity/ content of things. Restrict your calories obvs, mine vary. But totally depends
on how much you weigh / how much activity you do so I don’t want to give a number. However specifically, personally I found limiting my carbs my magic touch. Watch your macros, fill up on protein. Fluctuating calorie amounts, so your body doesn’t get used to being stuck at the same amount. XXXX for 2 days, up it for a day, reduce it for a day. I also did 2 weeks stints at a time of under 90 carbs a day, 800-1000 calories to jumpstart things after a plateau. As let’s be honest when the scale just wont move that’s the worst! No sugar at all when I was dieting. I had no chocolate at all for a year and a half or crisps. Cut out junk food, as much processed food as i could. Looked at the labels of everything and be super mindful everything I consumed. It was so hard.. so hard and I got far too militant! Because I just wanted to get there. But once I hit that point I relaxed and and now I’m much more balanced. I eat crisps and chocolate etc just much smaller amounts than I used too. Life is about balance after all. My apologies all for the super long post.. 😆

pps YOU TOTALLY ROCK OP!! ❤️

LaurieStrode · 17/11/2023 02:35

Congratulations, well done!
💐💐💐

Twizzlelolly · 17/11/2023 02:54

WELL DONE! You must feel amazing.

pphammer · 17/11/2023 08:10

YANBU

Congrats!

And don't be so harsh with yourself.

You've come a long way. Celebrate this milestone and set the next one. Always remember, you have the will, the focus and strength to do it! 🙌

Chewings · 17/11/2023 08:26

Amazing well done OP!!

KEEP GOING!

I was you. I remember being so proud of getting my BMI to 30. Its such a monumental achievement!

Do keep going - I never looked back, and now my BMI has been 20.5 for ten years.

Never regained the weight, but I gained a new life.

You can do this!

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 17/11/2023 08:44

Heb1996 · 16/11/2023 22:39

@10andcounting I think you’ve done amazing!! Never underestimate what an achievement this is. You should be so proud of yourself!! And it’s not about your size or how much you weigh or even how you look. This is about how you feel and it’s about your life and health. And I bet you feel amazing!! And so you should!! I wish I could do the same! I was 10 stone all my life before I started the IVF rollercoaster and I ended it at 15 stone with a baby which was amazing so I didn’t care about the weight. Then I had another baby and went up to 17 stone after that and I just cannot seem to control my weight any longer. I feel hopeless. But well done to you. I’m going to start trying again.

Good luck @Heb1996 , as cliche as it sounds, you can do it.

Ivf and two kids is a lot to deal with, especially emotionally.

I'm the heaviest I've been after being a size 10-12 most of my life.

I was that person whom people asked how I could eat so much and not put on weight. Don't have to try and beloved I had good genes.

That was until I hit my 30's and suddenly my body held on to every calorie.

I lost 5 stone in 11 months by setting my alarm an hour before my usual time and walking 4 miles in all weather.

Over covid it crept back up and I'm determined to be a healthy weight.

Aiming for a size 12-14 as any less doesn't suit my frame.

You're an inspiration OP and even if those around you don't say anything, they'll realise it bit might not want to broach it as weight is such a sensitive topic in the UK.

Pic of handbag please.

Sally543 · 17/11/2023 09:13

Go girl !!!!
well done

NannaKaren · 17/11/2023 12:58

You are amazing ! Well done get yourself something nice - nails, new item of clothing, shoes?!
go you ❤️

Diddlyumptious · 17/11/2023 15:03

Way to go!! Amazing!! See you did it even though it was really tough you kept going. An inspiration to all 👊👏

greenbeansnspinach · 17/11/2023 16:48

I cannot imagine how difficult this must have been. Especially when you were near your goal, stuff happened and you had to climb the mountain once again. Well done you, and if you can achieve this, well what can’t you achieve! Xxx

greenbeansnspinach · 17/11/2023 16:49

Gettingbysomehow · 15/11/2023 13:30

Very well done OP. I lost 8 stone and felt completely flat about it.
Then I realised it wasn't really my fat that was making me sad, it was something else, a number of other things in fact. I just blamed being fat because my doctor, my nurse, my friends all told me how much better my life would be if I lost weight. As long as I had that lose weight goal I had something to strive for and work towards.
And apart from my poor old knees which are better, nothing else is.
Sure, I can go swimming with my friends now and things like that but I still have unresolved issues like childhood abuse and things like that which made me comfort eat and get fat in the first place.
The media and books and magazines all tell you your life will be amazing when you are slim. It won't necessarily be amazing.
You are left with the feeling what now?
You have achieved this goal and that's great but now you need different goals to achieve and things to keep you going.
I always think anyone who has been obese should see a counsellor with regard to keeping the weight off. Because your mental state is a much neglected obstacle in you keeping the weight off and becoming a happier person.

That’s a really helpful insight.

Dibbydoos · 18/11/2023 09:17

Congratulations OP, well done!!!

Keep at it. X

leatherboundbooks · 20/11/2023 13:02

Many congratulations. I know what you mean, I was so pleased to get into overweight from obese but never told anyone what weight I was , people noticed I'd lost weight though. I don't know what my highest weight was, I'd had a really stressful time and has an i jury so it just crept up.
I'm trying really hard to get to the green zone, but the last few lbs are so hard to lose and am not sure how easily ill manage to maintain it, I'm on a fairly strict diet for health reasons, prediabetes. I've told people my blood sugar levels rather than weight goals and achievements. When I get there I might tell a few people irl that I'm now in the green zone.i share it with people online in a support group and we cheer each other on or help if things don't go too well. Apart from the fact I've never been to WW or similar id not want to be a poster girl for them, I'm doing this for me and my health. I did share with my adult children that I was nearly under 25 and both of them told me not to take the BMI tables too seriously l, my slim but muscular daughter reckons she's overweight in the BMI scale. It's true I have skin y legs but it's the visceral fat I'm trying to shift for health reasons

CountessVimes · 22/11/2023 11:53

Amazing achievement! Completely understand not wanting to discuss the numbers, am the same myself. Don't even do that with close family. Did open up to one friend about eating recently which led me to talking to Doc but still a very very long way from where I need to be. You are such an inspiration and reading this is helping me so thank you!

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