MIL said I embarrassed her in front of her family. WIBU?

[Bigredjumper]

Ar the weekend, my partner and I hosted a family get together for his mother, aunt, cousin and her husband and children. I offered to cook for the get together.

A few weeks before, his cousin messaged saying that she is trying to cut UPFs from her children's diet and asked me to let her know if this would be an issue so she could bring good food with her. I thanked her for letting me know and we agreed I'd run everything past her to make sure she was comfortable with her children eating it. I enjoy cooking so I had absolutely no issue with this; I want to reduce the amount of UPFs I eat anyway.

I decided to make fajitas three ways (chicken, steak and halloumi). The only things I could think of which might not be okay were:

Dried herbs/spices
Cathedral city cheese
Sour cream
Tomato paste (from a local deli, not the tomato puree in a tube)
Oliver oil (from the same deli)

Partner's cousin assured me these were fine for her and her family. I made the tortillas myself, and the meat came from a local butchers. I also made sweet potato fries and a big mumsnetty salad.

I thought the get together went well and everyone seemed to enjoy the food.

My partner's mother text me today saying she cannot believe I thought it was okay to serve her family such junk food. She said I'd embarrassed her and my partner in front of her sister and I should think long and hard before agreeing to host anyone again.

I couldn't believe what I was reading. My partner and his cousin have assured me that there was absolutely nothing wrong with what I served and to ignore her. But I can't stop thinking I did something wrong and should have served something healthier. Especially considering there were children.

So WIBU? Apologies this is so long!

This is the sort of situation for a phrase I learnt here many years ago (a daughter to school bully)
”Did you mean to be rude or was it a mistake?”

This!

This is also why there's a whole cohort of people who refuse to believe that ANYTHING from McDonalds isn't absolute junk & cause you to get cancer (yet they're happy to order curry or Chinese from takeouts they've never set foot in which are laced with MSG & all sorts of crap!)

When the truth is, the quality of what McDonalds serve is far better than most other food outlets or even many restaurants (most of it is organic & they raise the meat themselves on their own farms!) and the cleanliness & food hygiene routines they have, are like no other in existence.

Anyway, I digress....

I am SO jealous!

@Bigredjumper

My partner has asked me not to message her again. He's told her she isn't welcome in our home again without an explanation and apology. I've blocked her number for now.

How refreshing, OP, to see a partner clearly supporting you against his mother. Your food sounded delicious. 🌹

Wow! She is completely out of order! My MIL has high standards. But she'll come and be served what we give her, in our home, our way and be happy for it. She's always very grateful when we host her extended family too. Your MILs high standards mean nothing when she's acted in such a classless way and that's exactly what I'd tell her. She can present a meal and dinner table that Mrs Bucket would be proud of, but her etiquette now is appalling.

what is your MiLs typical diet?
I imagine it's usually a tedious meat & 2 veg

Incredibly rude of her - but you needn't worry about what she'd preferred to eat, with her being that rude no need to even contemplate inviting her again.

Exactly… I mean Nigella Lawson is 63 - I think she’s heard of a burrito

The food sounds great.

Perhaps she thought it was junk food as fajitas can be picked up with your hands - she might think it's like a McDonalds burger or something?

Well anyway. She is:

1. Ignorant. And worse, she is too stupid to use google.

2. Rude AF. Even if you had served Pot Noodles, her reaction would have been disproportionate.

I wouldn't just want an apology, I'd want her to understand and acknowledge that the food wasn't junk.

I have to say the food here is amazing 😆

Isn't that seriously abnormally healthy home cooking?!

We eat spaghetti, pizza, Linda McCartney burgers and vegetable soup, in rotation more or less. The only unprocessed thing is the soup, but we have supermarket garlic bread with that.

Your mil is being rude and odd. Perhaps it was so professionally cooked that she thought it was a takeaway?

She’s been super rude, without any apparent justification. Shame on her…..

Quite. It's incredible.

Is your MIL Mrs Bucket by any chance?

Another poster who can't read 🙄

Your MIL only showed her own ignorance and ugly personality.
Sadly you are stuck with her.
I would never get out of my way to invite her over again, but as usual it’s the kids who will suffer.
whys did your other half say ??
unless she apologises and your husband is on your side …I can’t see how it will work out for you .

On the topic of UPF, you can more or less discount ALL supermarket bread !
unless is sourdough.
all bloody bread has emulsifiers in them it seems . It’s a nightmare

As I said above in reply to a PP, it will be because it was an 'eat with your hands' meal that people of her generation likely see as junk food or something you'd have casually or for lunch

What a ridiculous, ageist generalisation.

I'm older than the OP's MiL and can assure you this isn't what my "generation" think at all

That sounds great to me, well done. The only thing that comes to my mind is that some people might be uncomfortable with the idea of using their hands. That doesn't give anyone the right to be so rude after you went out of your way to make a lovely meal for them.

Imagine being AS OLD AS 54.

Maybe she has trouble understanding cutlery, being more used to an Edwardian scoop device.

Batshit indeed.

No. OP let the cousin know all the ingredients. It was her partner's mother who sent the unbelievably horrendous message after the meal.

It's all there in the thread.

The meal sounds absolutely divine - and healthy!

I don't even know what UPF means when it comes to food so you're doing fine! I thought it was something about sun protection 😂

Some people don't like eating with their bare hands and see anything wrapped in bread as kind of like a lazy lunch. Like getting Subway or a wrap from McDonald's. I'm guessing that's where MIL is coming from.