MIL said I embarrassed her in front of her family. WIBU?

[Bigredjumper]

Ar the weekend, my partner and I hosted a family get together for his mother, aunt, cousin and her husband and children. I offered to cook for the get together.

A few weeks before, his cousin messaged saying that she is trying to cut UPFs from her children's diet and asked me to let her know if this would be an issue so she could bring good food with her. I thanked her for letting me know and we agreed I'd run everything past her to make sure she was comfortable with her children eating it. I enjoy cooking so I had absolutely no issue with this; I want to reduce the amount of UPFs I eat anyway.

I decided to make fajitas three ways (chicken, steak and halloumi). The only things I could think of which might not be okay were:

Dried herbs/spices
Cathedral city cheese
Sour cream
Tomato paste (from a local deli, not the tomato puree in a tube)
Oliver oil (from the same deli)

Partner's cousin assured me these were fine for her and her family. I made the tortillas myself, and the meat came from a local butchers. I also made sweet potato fries and a big mumsnetty salad.

I thought the get together went well and everyone seemed to enjoy the food.

My partner's mother text me today saying she cannot believe I thought it was okay to serve her family such junk food. She said I'd embarrassed her and my partner in front of her sister and I should think long and hard before agreeing to host anyone again.

I couldn't believe what I was reading. My partner and his cousin have assured me that there was absolutely nothing wrong with what I served and to ignore her. But I can't stop thinking I did something wrong and should have served something healthier. Especially considering there were children.

So WIBU? Apologies this is so long!

Well done for being perfect. Have a biscuit. A hand-made one, of course.

The thing is that what people eat on a weeknight is often the sort of food they really like. I’m an accomplished cook and make pretty much everything from scratch but if I’m having a multi generational / family type gathering I will always serve yummy fairly simple food that I know people will enjoy. This is more important to me than showing off my soufflé skills etc.

So offering 3 options, homemade tortillas and accompanying dips, salsas etc is everyday? Wow.

So offering 3 options, homemade tortillas and accompanying dips, salsas etc is everyday? Wow.

That isn't everyday food in our house either.

Yes, fajitas is easy to make. And the poster never said she made the dips herself, only the tortillas. It's not very hard to make tortillas.

This is just an an old mentality of I need more fuss from the MIL. It's the attitude of having to absolutely bust a gut which some women like imposing on others. Very old fashioned and I assume she has little else to do. At 50, I assume she had a rather small life to have this attitude

I get what you mean. In ours we also have more "formal" food, unless specified like bbq or hog roast. Depends on event/reason ffor gathering I guess.
Would not berate the host though either like you said

Why would it need to be "sophisticated" food for a family get together? For me sophisticated foods are for a more intimate gathering, or a restaurant.

Just text back with a simple "well I've thought long and hard about it and I will definitely never be hosting YOU again."

I think there's a difference between the weeknight meal, which might be a packet mix, wraps and chicken with a ready made dip and bag of salad. As opposed to a friend and family gathering, which might be hand made tortillas, seasoning from scratch, home made dips and salsa, a selection of salads and a choice of fillings made from fresh produce.

Did you mean to be so rude?

I cook from scratch. I can cook elaborate meals such as a while boned stuffed chicken, spend all day making basic curry gravy or multi course dinner parties and get requests for my baking, and I probably wouldn't do fajitas for a dinner party. However, my family would love a fajitas meal and would not think I hadn't made enough effort.

You clearly host in a much more formal manner than I do.

I suppose she might have seen it as the equivalence of giving people sandwiches
for dinner. Some people are very set in their ways and have a “standard”.

Goodness me, this thread!

Mrs Bucket's candlelit suppers are coming to mind 😂

Did you mean to be so rude

That's the only reply to MIL needed really 🤣.

The OP does say "family get together" and not a dinner party. I'm wondering of some of these replies are assuming a dinner party, which I would see as being more formal. But tbh I don't know anyone who has formal dinner parties anymore. And obviously still no excuse for the MIL.
Edited for spelling🤦‍♀️

Did she maybe assume it was shop bought rather than home made?

But tbh I don't know anyone who has formal dinner parties anymore.

Same. We only ever eat with very good friends, and while I might push the boat out with the food, our meals together are never formal.

Jesus H Christ! She's an absolute horror.
If someone was kind enough to host me and cook the lovely, thoughtful dish you cooked OP, I'd be absolutely delighted.
Don't take it to heart - you did a really great job by the sounds of it.
Can't get my head around how rude she is!

Unforgivably rude. I’m so glad your DH and his cousin are backing you. I’d ignore her. This isn’t worthy of a response.

You may find further discussion on here about possible early signs of dementia if it’s out of character. But of course she might just an unpleasant old boot.😃

Anyone else really feeling like some nice fajitas tonight? 😁

This , it sounds like you put in an effort to cook most of it from scratch but fajitas are a bit of a throw whatsoever together kind of meal. Perhaps that's what she means

I'd love some.

If only they weren't so unsophisticated and inappropriate.😓

Well whatever the rights and wrongs of the menu choice, surely the most rude thing of all is to complain about someone’s hospitality in such a manner?

I hope you don’t think I agree with her “standards” because I absolutely don’t. It’s just an observation. And yes I was thinking of Mrs Bucket too.