MIL said I embarrassed her in front of her family. WIBU?

[Bigredjumper]

Ar the weekend, my partner and I hosted a family get together for his mother, aunt, cousin and her husband and children. I offered to cook for the get together.

A few weeks before, his cousin messaged saying that she is trying to cut UPFs from her children's diet and asked me to let her know if this would be an issue so she could bring good food with her. I thanked her for letting me know and we agreed I'd run everything past her to make sure she was comfortable with her children eating it. I enjoy cooking so I had absolutely no issue with this; I want to reduce the amount of UPFs I eat anyway.

I decided to make fajitas three ways (chicken, steak and halloumi). The only things I could think of which might not be okay were:

Dried herbs/spices
Cathedral city cheese
Sour cream
Tomato paste (from a local deli, not the tomato puree in a tube)
Oliver oil (from the same deli)

Partner's cousin assured me these were fine for her and her family. I made the tortillas myself, and the meat came from a local butchers. I also made sweet potato fries and a big mumsnetty salad.

I thought the get together went well and everyone seemed to enjoy the food.

My partner's mother text me today saying she cannot believe I thought it was okay to serve her family such junk food. She said I'd embarrassed her and my partner in front of her sister and I should think long and hard before agreeing to host anyone again.

I couldn't believe what I was reading. My partner and his cousin have assured me that there was absolutely nothing wrong with what I served and to ignore her. But I can't stop thinking I did something wrong and should have served something healthier. Especially considering there were children.

So WIBU? Apologies this is so long!

@Wwwnothingdotcom point taken. I just wanted to illustrate that women in their 50s are not old and decrepit

Yup, yup, yup KitchenSinkLlama: read on!! I’m sorry I didn’t see poster had included that detail re mid 50’s. Have already explained I assumed age of my MIL which is late 70’s. Anyway, it’s still rude regardless to complain about a meal even if you privately think it. Think this thread has gone a bit off piste …

Obviously she is a ridiculous totally parochial idiot.

Put it this way, if you had most of your menu consumed and people looked happy, she can take her expectations and sit by herself with them. You probably looked relaxed instead of properly harried in her view.

This is nothing to do with age (61 and 70 here) just ignorance and rudeness.

Very rude.

I also thought the cousin was rude for at all questioning what food would be served, unless there are allergies involved. You are not a fucking restaurant.

I think she’s old and doesn’t understand modern food. She thinks fajitas are like burgers which is her eyes are bad food.

I think it’s that

Well she's not old (only rude!), just sounds unadventurous in the food department and not used to Mexican food

I agree. The cousin has been incredibly precious.

My mother would've been ninety this year,she loved a curry and would eat absolutely anything as long as someone else prepared it.

Right... but I've never eaten Korean food. I would absolutely not dream of telling a relative they had "embarrassed me" if they served it at a family gathering.

I'd consider myself lucky to have family willing to go the extra mile to make something nice and special.

She was extremely rude. However, she sounds like old school and this type of meal would not be deemed suitable by most of them (I talk from experience with my own mum and MIL) and more as a snack or fast food. Thats no excuse for her behaviour towards you though.

She was invited

She just saw it as wraps, that's it.
The rest enjoyed it, she thought it will be more fork and knife meal and had a hissy fit. Simple as. Nothing really to do with age imho.
Fajitas are fun food and some people prefer more formal stuff in family gatherings, unless it's specified it's more relaxed like bbq etc. She should have just leave it alone but some people can't help themselves.

Can't find me previous reply to quote, I said maybe it was generational, my parents would eat them but I wouldn't serve to my in laws. My parents wouldn't expect them for an 'occasion.'

Hadn't realised the MIL was in her 50s. 😳 mine are 70s and quite er....sheltered.

She is mid fifties.

I wonder if MIL and her sister are just out of touch with how younger generations host and eat. Maybe MILs sister commented on how awkward she felt using her hands and the two of them are having some weird older person issues. Makes no sense as I am the same sort of age but I do know some people are very stuck in their ways. It's them problem. You did nothing wrong. Good on your dh. If MIL can't have a normal conversation where she expresses something fully and then has a discussion rather than throwing the dummy out of the pram then not even explaining herself then there is little hope anyway

having some weird older person issues

Like what? Mid-50s isn't 'older' - is it??!

Even Mary Berry has a chicken fajita recipe. She's 88!

This one just doesn't even read as real.

They're in the yeast and ultimately consumed in tiny amounts.

I'm only a few years younger and fahitas are entirely a normal and non-exotic thing AFAIC. They seemed maybe a bit different and new to me in the mid 1990s.

Though probably ten years ago when I used to go out with the mums in DD's class at primary school there were one or two out of 15 who were totally unfamiliar with even the Anglicised versions of Mexican food, so perhaps some people do lead very sheltered and boring food lives!

She is brilliant

I'm could never be classed as adventurous with food as I don't like spicy food (or rather my stomach doesn't!) so I would have asked OP in advance for plain fajitas but certainly wouldn't have caused a scene like that!

Baffled by people who can't find out what a UPF is.

Don’t worry RampantIvy: 50’s isn’t old!!!! The MIL is acting old though - and that’s not ageist, just a recognition that older generations had less contact with this style of food albeit there are the enlightened Mary Berry’s whose job depends on her keeping a broad understanding of culinary movements.