To think society hates children?

[Orangeandgold]

During a crisis people tend to defend children and babies, but on a day to day basis when everything is “normal” I usually find and feel so much hatred towards children.

My DD picked this up quite young too. It is small subtle everyday conversations and actions.

I would have to remind an adult not to barge past a 5 year old when there is enough space on the pavement; or people that feel that they can comment or roll their eyes at you and be malicious because you have a buggy; or general comments in conversations about “all kids are brats/ those children/why would anyone have them.”; animals are so much more loving than children …

… and the comments go on!

If you don’t want children you don’t have to have them, but we were all kids once. AIBU to feel that society in general hates children and to get upset about it every now and then? Or am I just in a pessimistic bubble? Maybe it’s also the city, people have less tolerance? I just feel nobody really looks out for each other the way we would growing up - I would have neighbours on the look out as a child but now it’s different.

I haven’t said anything ableist, but nice try ‘love’

No one wants special treatment. They just want to get from A to B without much bother. And yea the vast majority of people are able bodied and should move Out the way. It’s common courtesy to move for those who would find it harder to move.

Shared space should be shared. A narrow pavement, person with a buggy, I’ll happily move. Couple of people walking with buggies, one of them can move over a bit or TEMPORARILY walk behind the other so I don’t have to go in the road.

Oh, and I don’t hate women. I am one. I do hate entitled people though.

But they do stop people walking on the pavement if they take over the whole width, when walking single file would allow someone else to pass…

Anywhere in my post did I say “hate and intolerable of children? READ the post.

if people want to have children that’s their choice but don’t expect people to be fawning and adoring of them.

the last part of your message doesn’t even make sense girl. Go back to Jesus

Again I’m so pleased I’m not bitter and intolerant. Is it so hard to think “It’ll be easier/quicker to move than this oncoming person/people”

I do this for people in wheelchairs, people with buggies, small children, people walking dogs, elderly people. I don’t mind, or think they must be entitled fuckers or make up some imaginary ‘they’re think they’re better than me’ nonsense in my head.

Then again I don’t tend to sweat the small stuff. My life has had a lot of very big lows so I could NEVER imagine getting upset because two people walk side my side with buggies. What a waste of a life getting cross about this

Someone who's actually read and understood a comment. 👏👏

“If you have mobility issues don’t move then if you are unable to” that’s what you said.

Who expects you to ‘fawn and adore’? When has this ever happened? When has a woman stopped you in the street and demand you fawn over her baby?

It’s for able bodied people (I did specifically mention them if you didn’t notice) taking a few nanoseconds to make life much easier for another human. It’s not asking for the moon on a stick

I think British society is quite intolerant of children who are often not really doing anything other than behaving in an age appropriate way (babies crying, toddlers running about, primary school kids being a bit loud or playing). Maybe it's lack of space or a hangover from the seen & not heard idea. Maybe it's because kids get so little freedom now that they are often in what used to be adult spaces. IME people are far more soppy about pets and far more tolerant of their behaviour.

And? How is that ableist?

Again I’m so pleased I’m not bitter and intolerant. Is it so hard to think “It’ll be easier/quicker to move than this oncoming person/people”

Is it so hard to think “there isn’t space for this other person to pass, I’ll just drop back briefly so they don’t get run over”?

I have had so many lows in my life that I have no time for that kind of entitled behaviour, I just stop. They have to move then, like it or not.

Kids are great, though. Never had a problem with them.

I agree with this.

My kids have always been great on a plane but my nephew is ND and so gets quite het up flying. I’ve seen people actively scowl and make ‘quiet’ comments about him when he was 4 years old. Yet the drunken stag do’s barely get a raised eyebrow

Aside from it being an extension of hating women….I just don’t get it. We were all children once so to hate being around kids seems odd and unhinged. I think it might be because children are raised differently these days and many people don’t recognise behaviour as ‘acceptable’. But personally I don’t think it’s was ever healthy to raise a generation of ‘seen and not heard’

Exactly! Entitlement.

It's more to do with the fact certain parents think their children are the centre of the world..nobody give a hoot about your kid.

@Yippet Nobody said “mute” which is why I’m asking.

Also as mentioned she only speaks to adults that have a conversation with her - mostly my adult friends (she’s convinced some that children are not that bad) and those that want to speak to her like the kind people at restaurants, teachers, shop keepers … you know people we interact with on a daily basis. some of those people don’t show disgust.

I want to say I have had positive experiences - plus I have thick skin so brush it all off. But I’m observant and can pick up body language too.

There are people that treat children like people and I think what I’ve been experiencing (upon reading the comments) is a lack of tolerance towards Children, more so in the British culture, compared to my culture where children are seen as a “blessing” and are a little more embedded in society and within everyday life. You speak to adults, but know boundaries. Are seen as the future and are treated like a human that is still learning and developing etc etc…

As opposed to the them and us attitude - children should stay over there and us adults here…

I also wonder if it’s simply because some people genuinely not knowing how to interact with children - I didn’t pre-motherhood tbh (I’ve once been asked by an adult if my child that was 7 knows how to hold a fork. When I replied with “yes, she eats just like you do” He relaxed and said “sorry I just find children weird and don’t know what they can do - had to laugh at that one!!)

I’ve also had people mutter horrible comments about me entering a space with a child. I’ve also been given freebies like ice cream at restaurants for having a child.

so it’s give and take but overall I’ve just felt that children are not necessarily “appreciated members of society” (it’s the only way I can put it)

When have you been expected to centre someone else’s child in your world? I never have. And I find it a bit weird when people love to point out how no one gives a shit about someone’s kids.

Well you’ve just embarrassed yourself there.
Yes, as a disabled person I do expect any person with common decency to be aware I might have difficulty walking past if there are two people with buggies also walking.

where’s the hatred of women coming from? I am a woman. So no hatred there.

I still want to know why everyone you meet is bowled over with astonishment at the sight of a young person walking beside their parent in broad daylight, OP!

This! 🙌🏻

And when did I say any different?? When have I said you need to move for buggies? Please point it out

I haven’t embarrassed myself. Not embarrassment felt whatsoever.

I’m more embarrass that you think women can’t hate other women.

Have young grandchildren and haven't noticed this, but both we and their parents expect them to behave when out and about.

🤔😂

Well you have embarrassed yourself. Several times over in fact.

first with your parent entitlement. That people with children should be treat differently ie. Anyone in the way of their path moving into the road.

You can’t comprehend as an adult that people don’t care about other people’s children. We really don’t. They may be the centre of your world but not mine and many others.

Thirdly, to use the laughable phrase of sexism and hatred towards women. Give me a break. Where you get this stuff from, you must lead a very boring life to accuse other WOMEN if hating women. I suggest you go to bed to your little darlings before you embarrass yourself even more. 🫠🤗

100% this!

I remember my stepdad going on and on about his grandkids... Who, for him, were the best thing since sliced bread. And he couldnt understand why/how everyone else in the world didnt feel exactly the same and couldnt see just how very special they were!

In reality, the kids were fine, but totally average kids, bordering on annoying.

We tried to explain it to him, that he saw them a certain way, but it was unreasonable to expect others to view the kids the same... He just couldnt understand the concept! LOL

Totally agree.
Having spent time living in Spain and in Italy where they dote on children of all ages it makes me so sad that children are not treated better in the UK.
The Spanish in particular are so loving towards children and VERY tolerant of the noise they make for example here in the UK a crying upset child in a restaurant would get eye rolls and tuts from most people nearby whereas in most parts of Spain adults wouldn’t give this scenario the time of day. I find that British adults are very‘triggered’ by kid noise which I can only put down to the hangover we have from ‘children should be seen and not heard’ 😞