To think society hates children?

[Orangeandgold]

During a crisis people tend to defend children and babies, but on a day to day basis when everything is “normal” I usually find and feel so much hatred towards children.

My DD picked this up quite young too. It is small subtle everyday conversations and actions.

I would have to remind an adult not to barge past a 5 year old when there is enough space on the pavement; or people that feel that they can comment or roll their eyes at you and be malicious because you have a buggy; or general comments in conversations about “all kids are brats/ those children/why would anyone have them.”; animals are so much more loving than children …

… and the comments go on!

If you don’t want children you don’t have to have them, but we were all kids once. AIBU to feel that society in general hates children and to get upset about it every now and then? Or am I just in a pessimistic bubble? Maybe it’s also the city, people have less tolerance? I just feel nobody really looks out for each other the way we would growing up - I would have neighbours on the look out as a child but now it’s different.

I can’t tell if you haven’t read my posts or if you’re purposefully twisting it.

I’ve never said people with children should be treated differently. Unless you can point out where I have? I’ve simply said if it’s easier and quicker for a person to side step and move than the person walking towards them the common courtesy is to do so. There’s plenty of reasons why the incoming person would find it harder.

You can’t comprehend as an adult that people don’t care about other people’s children. We really don’t. They may be the centre of your world but not mine and many others.

Cant I? Oh wait - I never said that. Or anything like it. You’re making things up again. I simply asked you when YOU have ever been expected to centre other people’s children in your world.

Do you REALLY think women can’t hate other women? Really? You must be joking surely?

Again no need to feel embarrassed for me. I’m not the least bit embarrassed. I’m very embarrassed that you feel the need to make up fairy stories about what I’ve said however. Especially when it’s in black and white that I haven’t said that and you’ve come on and said “Lol pffft…entitled…hahah…UNIVERSE!”. You must be mortified! We can all read you know 🤣

And no it’s not me leading a bizarre life getting my knickers in a twist because someone had the nerve to push a pram around in public <faints>

I’m assuming you are in the U.K. ? I grew up in another European country and simple things that over there are the norm are not here . A example is to give a public transport seat to a child under 10 . Children are supposed to be protected and are vulnerable so should be seating , over here people are proud to say “ I would never give my seat to a child “ or similar . Other things are people who are pregnant and with. young kids have priority on service like supermarket tills or the bank . We also take kids out for dinner often , I was shocked when I moved to the U.K. at 19 and realised many packed don’t even allow children to have dinner .plenty of other examples , like having to take a child to an hospital or hairdresser is highly acceptable there and not here etc .
I find it very sad .

How long did it take you to write that?
anyways your opinion is yours and mine is mine. Never in any of my comments did I mention women pushing buggies I said used the term people, you’re the one assumed it was sexist micro aggression and women hating on women. You contradict everything you say and I don’t argue with dense. Come back when you have a credible argument 🤗

Why does it matter how long it took? Do I get a prize if it didn’t take long?

The thing is, you’re telling porkies about what I said and have made a lot of things up and you have ignored me when I’ve simply asked you to point out where I said X Y S. wonder why. It’s why you’ve given a non-reply. “I’m not arguing with you” is the hallmark of someone who can’t hold a point when challenged.

Re sexism - I see you. your emojis and drivel don’t hide your disdain. We know who you meant.

Totally agree.

Yup the entitled parent prize.

I’m not telling porkies, look back at everything you’ve said and what my replies have been to them. I’ve held my point which many people have supported. I simply can’t be bothered to interact with your drivel and weak arguments.

And claps for the sexism spiel. Again never said or presumed gender in my posts. Now who is the woman hating on women

Someone sensible on here

I haven’t seen this however I don’t expect strangers to care about my kid; also I do t particularly care about other people’s kids although I have my own- not in ‘I hate’ way but in more of an being indifferent way.

Exactly. Poorly behaved children we do not like. Not children in general

100% their issue. Just another entitled parent thinking everyone should care about their little centre of the universe.

I find this too. When I was a child we were very respectful, didn’t run feral and generally very well behaved. If a child was misbehaving or being unruly another parent would sometimes point out our behaviour and my parents would be thankful for it for being disruptive. No idea where this parent entitlement has came from

I haven't seen society in general be intolerant of children in general, but I have seen them first hand be intolerant to SEN children, and just people with disabilities hidden or otherwise.

It's just like anything a disabled child does that's annoying in the same way a NT or able bodied child would do something perceived as annoying is doubly annoying when it comes from a disability, and I've had my fair share of sharp words towards people who have expressed that they're intolerant of it.

I dislike people who give dirty looks to parents of toddlers and babies who are crying or having a tantrum. We were all that age once upon a time! Children under the age of 3 can't always be reasoned with as they don't understand.

I don't like undisciplined entitled children of entitled parents though.

This in a way does prove her point a little. It’s completely developmentally normal for a 5 year old to be ‘disruptive and noisy’ as they do not have the intellectual capacity for impulse control. Obviously there needs to be discipline and boundaries when raising a child.. but I’m not sure what 5 year olds couldnt be described as noisy or disruptive at times. A child like that has likely been made to feel afraid of the parents- short cut parenting that isn’t worried about creating kind, well adjusted adults but more so just obedient little slaves to authority. IMO.

What, like when you were a toddler?

Absolutely - a woman's place is in the wrong and all that

Thanks for that.
My question wasn't a leading one, trying to be critical, genuinely just curious.

I didn't feel criticised - I didn't want to come across as a biased Britain-basher with rose-tinted glasses on about everywhere else I think my point was more to do with the fundamental approach to children and what they mean to society that comes across in the ensemble of policy and its effects in this area (iyswim), and IMO the UK does tend, much more than its European neighbours, to 'privatise' the raising of children.

That is so sad.

Children in the uk are almost second class citizens not youngsters learning how to be in this world with all the ups and downs that brings. I don’t care what anyone says there is still a ‘children should be seen and not heard’ hangover going on especially amongst the older generations.
There is a word for this ‘adultism’ and I see lots of it in this thread. people saying things like ‘children should be kept under control’ and calling them ‘little darlings’ in a passive aggressive way.

Hmm as the mother of a 19 year old boy I asked him about this He says he's never been given issues by anyone? Mind you he's never been " hanging around " the streets. He used to head for the football patches with his friends or being out doing clubs sports training g etc

I really hate the 'little darling' descriptor, it just drips with scorn.

I saw this a lot when DS was a toddler, but only ever when it was just me and DS out together - whenever DP (male, age 50s) was with us - people couldn't be more considerate!

You have translating 'hanging out' to 'hanging around the streets'. Why?

I noticed the ‘children in the Med countries are better behaved when out in restaurants then their UK counterparts’ trope has been made already. In my opinion though you are comparing apples and pears. Having lived and worked in various Med countries over the years my observations is that their restaurant scene is a lot more geared to outside dining and there is usually somewhere safe nearby for kids to play away from the table. Parents there do not bring screens or drawing pads out with them as usually the kids are excused from the table between courses where they can let off some steam. For all the ‘UK hates kids’ rhetoric it is also noticeable how quick parents in those Med countries are at using smacking as a form of discipline despite it being illegal in some of them.

Interestingly, kids were expected to put their lives on hold during COVID-19 to protect those, who, if tables were reversed, would have happily locked them inside while continuing to live their lives as normal.

If COVID was really bad for the children, I don't think for one second that life would have stopped to the extent that it did.