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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Waking boyfriend up on holiday ,aibu?

529 replies

ifitfeelslikeparadise · 14/11/2023 07:29

We have saved all year for this holiday and got here yesterday.
Just to the Canary Islands but spent £3,000 for a nice suite.
The night before we came away we stayed in a nice hotel and he went to sleep at 7pm
Got up the next morning at 7am
We got here yesterday afternoon
We went to bed last night at 8pm and probably asleep for 10pm
I woke up this morning at 6am but couldn't get back to sleep as 8 hours was more than enough.
7am I got a drink from the beside cabinet and woke him up.
Apologised and after 5 mins I got up and went into living room to make a cup of tea.
He comes in moaning waking me up at 7am on holiday making tea
Anyway turned into a argument
Because I don't want to spend all holiday In bed.
He's so lazy
Honestly 8 -10 hours should be enough
Maybe I'm a little excited but I've planned this for ages now
I'm sat on balcony making no noise while he is still in bed.
He's told me I can't unpack my case till he gets up
Aibu to not want to spend all holiday in bed?
He says it's his holiday too -which it is
But surely me getting up and going in next room isn't really bad ?
I crept out

OP posts:
Wishimaywishimight · 14/11/2023 09:56

Bloody hell OP, he sounds like a barrel of laughs!

If he's a lazy sod at home why did you think he would be any different on holiday? He spends the entire weekend indoors??

How old are you both? Actually, it doesn't matter whether you are 20 or 80, you are wasting your life with this man. You are utterly incompatible and you will sleepwalk through the rest of your life if you stay with him.

Get rid and start living and enjoying your life. Leave him to his bed.

recklessgran · 14/11/2023 10:00

OP please tell us - what are his good points? I'm mystified by what you're doing with him, why you put up with his horizontal weekends and why you're hanging around waiting for him so you can start holidaying. Bonkers. Go for an explore, to the pool, for breakfast then to the bar and leave him a note that you'll catch up with him later. In future plan your day the night before so you at least get something out of this and can manage each others expectations if he intends to spend his holiday in bed! When you get home you need to dump this idiot and FGS don't have children with him- we can all imagine what sort of life you'd have then.

Notwhatyouwanttohear · 14/11/2023 10:02

No, I meant he paid for his share so if he wants to lay in then he's entitled to.

Wishimaywishimight · 14/11/2023 10:02

Figgygal · 14/11/2023 08:44

You spent £3k to go on holiday to watch Masterchef and go to bed at 8?
What are you 80 years old? (Apologies to any 80yo's out there)

What a waste of money
Do you have other compatibility issues?

I was on holiday with my mum in early Summer. She's 81 and loved going out for dinner at 8-ish and a cocktail afterwards while we sat and watched the world go by!

OP, you really need to be with someone who enjoys the same sorts of things you do. Leave your OH to find a partner who likes doing...well...nothing!

Drpawpawspaw · 14/11/2023 10:05

Can’t Imagine going abroad on holiday then watching uk telly of an evening! Why bother 😂

Crunchymum · 14/11/2023 10:06

My DP likes the extra kip on holiday and I like the sun so I'd leave him in bed and he'd meet me round the pool / at the beach when he got up.

No drama and we both get what we want.

Edited to add the not getting out of bed / not going out at the weekend is odd. Do you never do anything together at the weekend?

Is he a gamer? Or a stoner? (or both!)

Yalta · 14/11/2023 10:08

I would say that the amount he sleeps needs checking out by a doctor. 12 hours per night is not normal or healthy

Or could he have an issue with alcohol. He might drink a lot which could explain the early bed time and general inertia
If he doesn’t really drink a lot could he have a reaction to alcohol in general (I can get room spinning drunk on a liqueur chocolate)

How is he if he doesn’t drink for a few days

pinkfondu · 14/11/2023 10:09

Is this really how you want to spend your life?

horseyhorsey17 · 14/11/2023 10:12

He sounds like a nightmare to go on holiday with if all he wants to do is sleep, get drunk, have an early dinner then go back to bed again. I guess that is some people's idea of a good time - but BORING. I'd just do your own thing OP - and go away with people who are more fun next time!

Growlybear83 · 14/11/2023 10:12

I agree that 7 am is early to wake up on holiday but then 10 pm is very very early to be going to sleep! Surely no-one needs nine hours sleep, particularly when they're away.

Donmeistersleepmachine · 14/11/2023 10:15

Nah I'm with you. After so much sleep I'd want to be up and atom at least unpacking and go out to get some brekkie first day, but I'd let it go if he was determined to sleep in. People operate differently on holidays, see how the rest of your time goes and try to enjoy it. If you two are on completely different pages and this is your first holiday, either rethink compatibility or try to compromise with a 9am wakeup or when he wakes up he gets ready and you pop out without much faffing around if that's what you wanna do.

cheezncrackers · 14/11/2023 10:15

He sounds awful OP and you sound completely incompatible. Why are you with him? Honestly, this relationship doesn't sound like it's going to last.

And everyone griping that 7am is too early to get up - I get up 7 almost every day - even on holiday. And if I'd been asleep since 10 I'd definitely be wide awake at 7!

heartofglass23 · 14/11/2023 10:16

You aren't compatible.

Leave and move in.

Ktime · 14/11/2023 10:18

He expects me to go back to sleep till he wakes up I just can't sleep for 10/12 hours like he wants

He’s a controlling, lazy twat. Enjoy this holiday without him, get out and about and realise you don’t need him.

Seaweed42 · 14/11/2023 10:19

"At home on the weekend he doesn't get up at all
He's home from Friday night and doesn't leave the house till Monday morning
Been together 4 years and live together"

I guess you know what to expect then.

He's going to sleep all day on holiday as much as he can.
Because at home he sleeps any spare time he can.

For some reason he doesn't like being awake and being in the world.
He goes to sleep to escape.

Does he drink a lot at the weekends?

What ages are you both?

VickyEadieofThigh · 14/11/2023 10:19

ifitfeelslikeparadise · 14/11/2023 07:39

@RedCoatSearch he likes to go for dInner at 6.30pm,have a drink then goes to bed and watches tele
Last night we spent the night watching master chef

Very gently, this relationship doesn't sound like it's viable for you. I'm 65 and what you've described would make me scream with frustration.

tinytemper66 · 14/11/2023 10:28

Hopefully you have showered and gone to breakfast

MintTrackies · 14/11/2023 10:29

As an aside, I dumped my then DP last year after a holiday, where his lack of oomph and moaning drove me demented

ManateeFair · 14/11/2023 10:32

Yeah, I'd be annoyed if someone was making me wake up at 7am on holiday.

Really not sure why the cost of your suite is relevant here.

Ktime · 14/11/2023 10:33

I think people need to RTFT

Heyahun · 14/11/2023 10:38

god how boring - i couldn't be with someone like this - what do you like about him / enjoy doing? if he just sits around all weekend and you don't -then are you just separate lives - dull

i'd be off on my own to enjoy the holiday leave him in bed and split when you get back and stat enjoying life alone / with friends or meet someone better

dontcallmelen · 14/11/2023 10:39

Ktime · 14/11/2023 10:33

I think people need to RTFT

This have they missed the bits about sleeping the night before 7pm-7am then the next night being in bed at 8pm watching master chef & asleep by 10pm.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 14/11/2023 10:46

recklessgran · 14/11/2023 10:00

OP please tell us - what are his good points? I'm mystified by what you're doing with him, why you put up with his horizontal weekends and why you're hanging around waiting for him so you can start holidaying. Bonkers. Go for an explore, to the pool, for breakfast then to the bar and leave him a note that you'll catch up with him later. In future plan your day the night before so you at least get something out of this and can manage each others expectations if he intends to spend his holiday in bed! When you get home you need to dump this idiot and FGS don't have children with him- we can all imagine what sort of life you'd have then.

I can't imagine someone who sleeps as much as he does getting up to help out if you have children together. You will be doing it all

Topseyt123 · 14/11/2023 10:47

Ktime · 14/11/2023 10:33

I think people need to RTFT

Don't they just! So many just seem to read the OP and not even any of her updates before spouting their irrelevant bollocks.

OP is talking about a man who regularly stays in bed from Friday night to Monday morning when at home. On holiday he gets up late morning at around 11am and spends the next few hours getting drunk before going to bed again late afternoon and staying there until he repeats the cycle again the next day.

OP is allowed to get up at 7am and make herself a cup of tea to have on the balcony. He does not like her doing that. I wouldn't care. Fuck him! He's a waste of space.

SoundTheSirens · 14/11/2023 10:48

Bobtheamazinggingerdog · 14/11/2023 07:38

She wasn't crashing around and didn't wake him on purpose. They went to bed early and already had 8 + hours sleep. Is she supposed to lie silently in bed for 2 more hours so she doesn't disturb his 10 hours? Not everyone can go back to sleep especially after a full night. OP you did nothing wrong.

This! Can't believe all the people saying YABU OP. It's not as though you were trying to bundle him into full hiking kit at 7.00am...just getting up to make yourself a cuppa.

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