Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Waking boyfriend up on holiday ,aibu?

529 replies

ifitfeelslikeparadise · 14/11/2023 07:29

We have saved all year for this holiday and got here yesterday.
Just to the Canary Islands but spent £3,000 for a nice suite.
The night before we came away we stayed in a nice hotel and he went to sleep at 7pm
Got up the next morning at 7am
We got here yesterday afternoon
We went to bed last night at 8pm and probably asleep for 10pm
I woke up this morning at 6am but couldn't get back to sleep as 8 hours was more than enough.
7am I got a drink from the beside cabinet and woke him up.
Apologised and after 5 mins I got up and went into living room to make a cup of tea.
He comes in moaning waking me up at 7am on holiday making tea
Anyway turned into a argument
Because I don't want to spend all holiday In bed.
He's so lazy
Honestly 8 -10 hours should be enough
Maybe I'm a little excited but I've planned this for ages now
I'm sat on balcony making no noise while he is still in bed.
He's told me I can't unpack my case till he gets up
Aibu to not want to spend all holiday in bed?
He says it's his holiday too -which it is
But surely me getting up and going in next room isn't really bad ?
I crept out

OP posts:
cmaalofshit · 14/11/2023 13:32

I'm not a nightmare I just get bored of going on holiday with him and spending most of the time alone

Why on earth do you bother? You don't sound compatible. I think you are unreasonable for getting up/waking him up at 7 am on holiday and can understand him complaining about it but on the other hand I'd be really pissed off about paying a lot of money to go abroad and then sitting in bed from 6.30 pm or so and watching fucking Masterchef.
And as for the getting up at 11 am, getting pissed and going to bed at 5 pm on a previous holiday - why would you ever go on holiday with someone like that again? Apart from the fact it sounds like he's exactly the same when he's at home.

itsalongwaybackfromsorry · 14/11/2023 13:34

I don't think OP's done anything wrong: she woke up, couldn't sleep any more, so got up quietly and made some tea for herself IN ANOTHER ROOM.

Not her problem if he can't cope with normal household activity in relative quiet.

YANBU, OP

WifeOfTiresias · 14/11/2023 13:38

PinkRoses1245 · 14/11/2023 08:29

YABVU. It’s his holiday to. What are you getting up so early for? Sorry but you sound really boring watching TV in bed on holiday

I don't think watching TV in bed was the OP's choice of activity.

DangerousAlchemy · 14/11/2023 13:48

Boymum2104 · 14/11/2023 07:42

Sorry to get up at 7am is ridiculous to me. Some people are morning people, some people aren't. Even with a baby on holiday we were getting up to feed him at 7 & then going back to sleep for another few hours. I don't think we've ever been on holiday and made it to the breakfast buffet more than twice lol

Really?? only the breakfast buffet is the best meal of the day imo. We set our alarms so we don't miss it 👏🤣

DangerousAlchemy · 14/11/2023 13:51

Whataretheodds · 14/11/2023 07:53

And this relationship works for you?

Show quote history

I'd also say don't have a child with this man OP - he sounds v lazy and you'd end up doing all the work!

Smugandproud · 14/11/2023 13:51

@ifitfeelslikeparadise I think you need to sit in the bar at night with some normal people.
Who wants to go to bed early on a beach holiday?
He sounds boring.

ShouldGoToBed · 14/11/2023 13:58

He sounds really really really boring to be around. Why don’t you get on TripAdvisor and book yourself a day trip somewhere for at least one day and leave him to slob about by himself. Your life doesn’t have to be as boring as his. There are some stargazing group tours in Tenerife that look amazing. Find something you want to do and then go do it. Good luck.

Blondeshavemorefun · 14/11/2023 13:58

Love the reef. Date I ask where you ar E staying that costs £3k for a suite

howdoesyourgardengrowinmay · 14/11/2023 14:08

WifeOfTiresias · 14/11/2023 13:38

I don't think watching TV in bed was the OP's choice of activity.

Show quote history

Was he actually 'watching' master chef? I mean properly engrossed in the programme?

Or was he facing the TV with the programme on, but playing on his phone, drinking etc?

Either way, you need a new boyfriend.

Nounderwireplease · 14/11/2023 14:19

mewkins · 14/11/2023 07:39

I'm with you OP. 8 hours is enough for me. What adult needs 12 hours of sleep?!

Not all adults are the same, some have chronic health conditions which means that they need more sleep than you consider to be appropriate.

SuchiRolls · 14/11/2023 14:23

Haven’t read the whole thread but the first page or 2 I can’t believe how ppl are responding as though you marched through with a brass band or something fgs. Nothing at all wrong with what you said happened. What’s to say him snoring or turning over in bed didn’t actually wake you? Would you get pissy at him for that. What an entitled man child. It’s your holiday too, so you carry on as you are. As long as you’re being as quiet as possible, there’s no issue here. As for staying in bed until he wakes…WTAF. No, all the no! One person should not dictate the tone of the holiday just because they want a lie in.

LiesDoNotBecomeUs · 14/11/2023 14:26

Yes -7am is too early (you need to be really quiet if you need to get up).
On the other hand, he is staying in bed too long.

Were you hoping that he would change on holiday?
People don't change that quickly or that much. This is him being him.

Your choice for this wonderful holiday:

-Both of you compromise - if you can do it and still both enjoy that (without feeling bored/tired and resentful)

-Or he stays and sleeps ( happy that you will be out having fun).
+You go out and do everything you can to get two persons worth of fun out of the holiday (knowing that he will be fulfilled catching up on years of sleep/TV).

Gettingbysomehow · 14/11/2023 14:36

Why is everyone giving OP a hard time?
She has every right to get up and get clothing out of her suitcase so she can go out. She's not a prisoner in her room, I'd tell him to piss off.
He also wants her to go back to bed with him until he wakes up, when is that going to be? Mid afternoon?
Sounds to me as though he is the one giving orders here.
He sounds really controlling.
If that was me he'd get a jug of cold water on his head.

Gettingbysomehow · 14/11/2023 14:37

You'll have enough time to sleep when you're dead.

RampantIvy · 14/11/2023 14:44

I agree with you @Gettingbysomehow.
It seems beyond the comprehension of many posters that some of us don't need 9+ hours sleep.

saythatagaintome · 14/11/2023 14:45

Omg you sound like a total nightmare 😭

I’d be totally royally annoyed at you, tbh.

Just because YOU feel rested after 8 hours doesn’t mean other people do! Practice the art of just being or learn to entertain yourself.

most adults who know to do this would be perfectly content taking themselves out for a walk, or reading a book, or going for a short hike.

Ginmonkeyagain · 14/11/2023 14:52

Dinner at 6.30pm - is he 10?

Mr Monkey and I tend to differ - He likes a lie in whereas I am a light sleeper and want to be up and about early. So I get up and go and get breaskfast things/explore/map out plans for the evening.

Once up though he is keen to get out and do things and is more of a night owl than me.

Skodacool · 14/11/2023 14:53

margotrose · 14/11/2023 08:00

Last holiday he didn't get up till nearly 11 then got drunk and was in bed for 5pm and no dinner

Did you post about this last time?

It feels weirdly familiar as does your posting style.

So you’ve gone on holiday again with him knowing he has form for this sort of behaviour? Why are you still with him?

gamerchick · 14/11/2023 14:55

He stays in bed all weekend?

OP he sounds like a right lazy git, or he needs a doctor. You know what he's like, it's not going to change because you're sleeping in a different place. Go off and have an adventure, go meet new people. But I really wouldn't have a other holiday with him again.

Neither would I have kids. You'll throttle him.

Cornishclio · 14/11/2023 14:56

My goodness. My husband and I are in Cyprus at the moment and probably twice your age but at least we don't lie around on holiday watching TV in bed or going to bed at 7pm. 7am is quite early to get up if you are on holiday but if you have a suite I would get up and chill out there in the morning or go for a walk. My husband likes to lie in usually until 9am both at home and on holiday but I am an earlier riser although the time difference has mucked up my time clock. I would go and sit on the balcony as we don't have a suite or go for a walk.

If he lies around at home all weekend then he is either really lazy or unwell. How old is he? Do you have children? My advice is to check out the things you want to do and do them with or without him. I wouldn't want to pay £3k to loll around in bed all day on holiday but if this is day 1 maybe he needs time to unwind if he has a busy job.

Doteycat · 14/11/2023 15:00

Gettingbysomehow · 14/11/2023 14:37

You'll have enough time to sleep when you're dead.

Unless of course you are an adult who CHOOSES to do exactly what they want on holidays which is sleep.
Going hiking or any such rubbish sounds like a total waste of a holiday IMO.
Im too busy in my daily life to want to waste time climbing a stupid mountain.
I like to sleep, read, eat, sleep, sleep, read and eat.
Doing shit you dont like is such a waste of life.

Celebrationsnakes · 14/11/2023 15:21

Gettingbysomehow · 14/11/2023 14:36

Why is everyone giving OP a hard time?
She has every right to get up and get clothing out of her suitcase so she can go out. She's not a prisoner in her room, I'd tell him to piss off.
He also wants her to go back to bed with him until he wakes up, when is that going to be? Mid afternoon?
Sounds to me as though he is the one giving orders here.
He sounds really controlling.
If that was me he'd get a jug of cold water on his head.

Agree

Cornishclio · 14/11/2023 15:24

You can really tell how compatible you are by going on holiday with someone. If he stays in bed until 11am then gets drunk eats an early dinner then goes to bed after watching UK telly I would be irritated at spending so much just to do that. For those who just want to sleep how boring is that not to sightsee or embrace the local culture? We have spent today on holiday lolling around on the beach or by the pool reading, eating and drinking but yesterday we did some sightseeing and took a boat ride. We didn't get up until 9am. Tomorrow we will explore the old town and find a nice restaurant and have a few cocktails after a nice evening walk at sunset. Luckily we both embrace the things we like to do differently but have enough things in common to still spend most of the day together. Routine should go out the window on holiday.,

I do hope you enjoy your holiday OP. Life is too short to constantly dance to someone else's tune.

mewkins · 14/11/2023 15:41

Well yes of course but that would have been a major bit of information for the op to leave out.

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 14/11/2023 15:52

ifitfeelslikeparadise · 14/11/2023 07:50

At home on the weekend he doesn't get up at all
He's home from Friday night and doesn't leave the house till Monday morning
Been together 4 years and live together

This to me is much more of an issue than the holiday. Do you mean he sleeps for 2 days or goes around in Pjs. That's very concerning. He sounds depressed or has a serious medical condition.