Waking boyfriend up on holiday ,aibu?

[ifitfeelslikeparadise]

We have saved all year for this holiday and got here yesterday.
Just to the Canary Islands but spent £3,000 for a nice suite.
The night before we came away we stayed in a nice hotel and he went to sleep at 7pm
Got up the next morning at 7am
We got here yesterday afternoon
We went to bed last night at 8pm and probably asleep for 10pm
I woke up this morning at 6am but couldn't get back to sleep as 8 hours was more than enough.
7am I got a drink from the beside cabinet and woke him up.
Apologised and after 5 mins I got up and went into living room to make a cup of tea.
He comes in moaning waking me up at 7am on holiday making tea
Anyway turned into a argument
Because I don't want to spend all holiday In bed.
He's so lazy
Honestly 8 -10 hours should be enough
Maybe I'm a little excited but I've planned this for ages now
I'm sat on balcony making no noise while he is still in bed.
He's told me I can't unpack my case till he gets up
Aibu to not want to spend all holiday in bed?
He says it's his holiday too -which it is
But surely me getting up and going in next room isn't really bad ?
I crept out

YANBU.

You’re going to get a ton of lazy people posting that it’s absolutely unreasonable to expect anyone to wake before 12PM especially on gasp holiday but 7AM is normal.

It’s fine if he wants to waste his holiday in bed but that shouldn’t mean that you have to as well.

Then I’m an early riser and hate wasting time lazing in bed because why not just stay home in bed and not waste money going away?

Everyone is different but no reason why your day should be anymore dictated to by him than his day should be dictated by you.

And I would hate to be made to stay in bed when I had slept for 9 hours. I would want to get up, have a cup of tea and start the day. I suspect that most adults don't need 9+ hours sleep every night.

But he’s a grown adult, it’s his holiday and he can do what he wants to do.

OP says she likes to spend her first days lazing about by the pool, which in my eyes is such a waste of time but she’s an adult and it’s her holiday so she can do what she likes too.

OP knows he needs a lot of sleep and he prioritises this and so she needs to make plans to go and do the things she wants to do.

Why is her idea of a good holiday more important than his?

He’s not making her stay in bed though.

She’s choosing not to do anything until he wakes up and choosing to go bed at the same time as him.

Would you rather you pack as much in the day as possible with your boyfriend struggling or have a couple of hours less outside time but of a high quality with both of you happy and alert.

Also, as someone who has sleep issues herself, I would hazard a guess that it's not entirely unlikely that he is going to bed super early so he can get up early because he's trying to keep up with you and not let you down!

My husband is like that, not just holidays, in general.
I normally wake up at 6-7 am (usually go to bed at 11 pm or 12 am) he goes to bed at around the same times but he has a sleep apnoe so doesn’t sleep very well and is always knackered. But then he likes to stare at his phone when he wakes. We have two young children as well.
I found the solution lately, I joined the gym so off early at 7-8 am and come back in couple of hours by then the whole family is awake!
if on holiday, I will just go to either lounge and read, or go to the beach, or gym.
he can’t expect you to lay still in bed until he wakes up as life passes by! Just do what you feel like and ignore him.

OP said He expects me to go back to sleep till he wakes up. I just can't sleep for 10/12 hours like he wants

So yes, he is trying to make her stay in bed.

I love a lie in, holiday or not but this guy sounds soooo boring and selfish! How can you bear him?

Every weekend - stays in bed and doesn't leave the house.
Evening wants to have a nursery supper at 6.30pm so he can rush back to bed for the evening. WTF?
Then despite being in bed for 12+ hours doesn't want to do anything in the morning except ... stay in bed.

The most exciting thing he can think of doing on holiday is watching UK television ... in bed.
He claims it's "his holiday" (true) but it doesn't seem to occur to him it's yours too. Orders you to lie still and silent until he deigns to wake up. Forbids you to unpack until he allows you to.

I would be incandescent if someone tried to forbid me having my morning cup of tea!

Is this really how you want to live your life? Do you want kids? Because guess who'll be doing the night waking and early mornings whilst the Princess prioritises his sleep/rest every single night ... and day!

@ifitfeelslikeparadise
OP, you should both be free to enjoy the vacation in the way that pleases you.. He can sleep 24/7 if that is how he wants to enjoy the trip, and you should be free to get up , roam, sight see, etc if that is how you want to spend your time.

He can do as he wishes, but he cannot dictate how you are to spend your time.

7am on holiday? Yes you are being unreasonable.

You've got all day - it's his holiday as much as yours.

Maybe do something on your own in the mornings - you're not joined at the hip.

Why are you still with him?

Is it a fear of being single?

He complained that she did something. He said she can’t unpack or open her case UNTIL he got up. So he absolutely is dictating how she spends her day.

Is he depressed - or possibly actually some kind of hibernating animal? Why does he need so much sleep? That really isn't normal.

I agree with the girl posting. If I'm on holiday I'm getting up and doing things especially if they were in bed that early. I would discuss things before I went though as I am a over planner haha. A lie in some days is nice but if he went to bed that early it's a bit strange. And all you saying he can do what he wants well then so can she and get up and have a bloody tea. But I wouldn't go on holiday with him again if he's that boring 😆😆

Has he consulted a doctor?

Are you happy for this to be your life?

My average is midnight - 10 or 11 - 9.30 something like that. However what is interesting is I will often wake in the middle of the night or sometimes 5am feeling wide awake but I will go back sleep after an hour or so for a few more hours. I wonder if I just stayed awake if I woke up at 5am if I would have enough energy to see me through to a normal bed time. I highly doubt it but I might try it one time so I can see the "benefits" of early rising. I imagine it's nice and quiet but it probably wouldn't be worth it to do on a regular basis.

Loads of comments already but feel like you are getting a bit of an unwarranted bashing OP. You are waking up naturally, creeping quietly out of the bedroom and going into another room to make a cup of tea. You aren’t waking him deliberately. That would wake me too as I’m a very light sleeper but I’d put ear plugs in and go back to sleep if I wanted. Sounds like you have very different ideas of what you want to do on holiday. If I were you I’d leave clothes make up etc out in the living room, creep out get dressed and go for breakfast then a walk or a swim and head back to the room at the time he would usually be up. Or ask him to text you when he’s awake and you’ll come back for him. If that means you please yourself all morning while he’s asleep then do that.
i would also be tempted to go for dinner on my own at 8pm instead of eating at 6:30 and going back to bed. Does your boyfriend have health needs as going to bed 7/8pm isn’t normal especially when on holiday? Usually you would be out eating / drinking / having romantic walks along the beach in the dark.
maybe ask him out for a date night and if he refuses go to the bar and make some friends.

That's ridiculous, he can sleep any time he wants. Why is he wasting this holiday. I'd want to be up and out not sitting in silence while somebody sleeps.
There must be a ton of stuff to see and do.

Agreed, for me it's barely morning😂most of the year it's still dark out at that time.

Yes, it’s really weird behaviour. I don’t think we even turned the tv on during our last holiday! I vaguely remember seeing one on the wall.

I would hate being woken so early on holiday, but that’s because we generally have late nights on holiday. My DH does generally get up earlier than me and he just sits on the balcony with his book or goes down to the pool. I just keep dozing though (our DC are not morning people either, so tend to miss a lot of breakfasts).

On holiday ?

Weird

You can do that at home

Is he a little set in his way

Holidays are the best way to quickly find out if you're compatible with someone. I've discovered this very quickly with both friends and partners in the past! You two need to go your separate ways once you get back home. I'm like you...I couldn't put up with someone like this.

I'm with you - I'd be up at 7 and out exploring !

Is your suitcase still packed? Good. Pick it up, take it downstairs and ask reception to find you another room.

Why do you expect him to be different?

you know what he’s like. You know what he was like last time.

He’s not going to change