To ask how to handle this teacher situation?

[OutOfMyDepth86]

Before I start this is not a teacher bashing thread, on the whole I think they do an amazing job.

My ds14 in year 10 is having a really hard time with one of his teachers, to the point on days he has this teacher he is not wanting to go to school. He has got upset several times and states the teacher singles him out repeatedly. I have emailed school three times and had no response, rang and spoke to the year 10 student coordinator twice, was promised a phone call, email response and got nothing, my ds him has been and ask to move class of a few occasions. He doesn’t get in trouble or have detentions for any other subject.

The issues are as follows:-
We are out of catchment area by 15 miles, first homework was take 35-50 photos of where you live in away it represents community and the place. He did this, I know he did this as I bloody walked around for 90 minutes in the rain helping him and as always I get him to bcc me into homework emails. She told him he hadn’t done the homework properly and just taken random photos of pretty fields and trees as he lives in x place, he informed he didn’t and this is the area he lived. He received 30 minute detention for not doing the homework correctly.

Had to redo the homework same criteria, which he did redo and got told off again. He told her the criteria was where you live not X place and that’s what he did. Got a 30 minute detention for rudeness but she accepted the homework.

She singled him out and wouldn’t allow him to leave the classroom with a camera to complete the coursework made him sit at his desk for all 3 lessons that week. Then gave him a 30 minute detention for not completing the coursework, this has happened three times since September.

According to ds and backed up by a few classmates she screamed in his face in the classroom in front of the class over not completing the coursework, that she didn’t allow him to take part in.

She shouted at him and gave him a 30 minute detention for not looking at her when she was talking to him. He was looking at her to the best of his ability, he has a squint which has been surgically corrected twice and now he has grown is waiting a third operation, his eye involuntarily wonders/crosses, he can’t control this. School are aware as hospital have written to them about seating arrangements best for board work.

There has been several other incidents but these are the worse of them, I can’t allow him to be bullied by this teacher. She is the adult in a position of authority and I don’t think she should be allowed to abuse that power. What do I do as the school are ignoring all my attempts of communication of this issue.

One more thing, after you have had the meeting your intitled to follow it up with a email.
Dear Mr X, Thanks for meeting with me today 15.11.23. I'm glad you understand where my concern are coming from. Thank you for agreeing to try XY andZ and that if this doesn't work we're do ABand C. Without a paper trail you have nothing. Again with any other conversation with the school. Thanks for taking my call today I wallit to hear from Mrs B . You get the picture

Her not allowing him out with the rest of the class to do the coursework and then punishing him for not doing it is unacceptable and an abuse of power.

it doesn’t make any sense. She’s either completely losing her marbles or really does seem to despise your son or, and I know you won’t like this OP, your son has given you a slightly skewed version of events

We're all obviously only hearing one side of the story, as are you but as there's no reason to disbelieve your son and you've tried to communicate with the school more than once to no avail, I'd escalate this now. I would email the headteacher and explain very clearly that if this doesn't get resolved and you don't get clear answers then you will have no choice but to involve the school governors and you need a response by (whatever time suits you).

I'm absolutely aghast that he wasn't allowed to do the practical lesson and then got a detention for not doing the practical lesson!!!! Absolutely outrageous.
Do any of the other pupils get ridiculous detentions too?

I'm.a teacher and also been a Head, and a head of year. .

You need to make an appointment with the head. Or deputy head Seeing as the head of year is ignoring you too

This is not OK

Sounds like he’s only done 1/2 a term of the GCSE course. Can he switch subjects?

What is happening when the others go out on practicals? Is he in school on his own?

As a head of department I would definitely agree with escalating. You may only have one side of the story but attempts to get the other side so far have been futile. So escalation would appear the only way to know what is actually happening.
Whilst this may be an OFSTED outstanding school, as you've discovered that's not the full story. Long gone are the days when most teachers were seen at least once in an inspection. I've been teaching since 2002 and OFSTED have seen me teach once in that time.

That teacher is actually bullying your son.

It's repeated behaviour and they are using detentions as a power move that they can dole out as and when they feel like it.

Based entirely on what you've written here I think it is the teacher who should be apologising to your son.

I would approach this as a bullying issue and ask the school what they plan to do to stop it happening again.

Best of luck to you and to your son. No one should be bullied. Ever.

I very much doubt she ‘screamed in his face’.
It sounds as though his homework did not meet the brief; I wonder if you walked around in the rain and took photos of fields etc. which did not represent the community. Did your DS ask for clarification of the task?

Email the HT and ask for a meeting with them or the Curriculum Deputy, explaining that other attempts at communication are failing.

Ask them for their full complaints procedure ... go through the steps. There is no point in chasing the same people for no answers. All schools have an escalation ladder.

We're all obviously only hearing one side of the story, as are you but as there's no reason to disbelieve your son and you've tried to communicate with the school more than once to no avail, I'd escalate this now. I would email the headteacher and explain very clearly that if this doesn't get resolved and you don't get clear answers then you will have no choice but to involve the school governors and you need a response by (whatever time suits you).

This is good advice. You've made attempts to reach out which have been ignored, time to escalate. Yes it's only one side, but they don't seem bothered about giving any insight into the situation and if he doesn't have issues in any other classes then I don't see why he would lie about this. Can I just say it can take a lot for teenagers to open up with a parent like this, kudos for you for supporting your DS in what seems like a balanced and fair way- it's a shame the school isn't doing the same.

Op you have had a lot of good advice.

One thing I would do it make a list of all the incidents
Also write down clearly how this is effecting your son. The fact that he is distressed, crying and not wanting to go into school is all a matter of concern whatever has gone on , that also needs addressing.

I woudl ask the school to speak to others in the class about the teachers behaviour towards your son too. As they should be able to confirm some of this.

Make sure EVERYTHING is written down. As pp said follow up every meeting with an email to confirm
what was discussed and
what actions are going to be taken
when there will be a follow up to see if it is working.

No matter what has happened I also think that it is fair to say the relationship between the teacher and you ds has broken down to such an extent that you wnat him to move to another group.

I suspect the photos didn't meet the exam criteria brief he probably needed to have buildings , roads etc so there is probably a bit of reasoning in this and may well have been told this time and time again and still took photos of cows ;)

Your issue is the lack of response from staff to discuss this and this is why it needs escalating

this may be true, but as a teacher the approach is not to give a detention, but to give feedback in such a way as he can take it in.
A pp upthread said this:

These are good pictures, and maybe they do capture the area where you live, but I'm not sure you've quite managed to represent the community as well as the landscape - if you live in a rural area, maybe you could have included something like some pictures of the local pub or something happening at the village hall? So next time, just think more clearly about the brief you've been given.

That's how teaching works. You give feedback and explain what the student can learn from the mistakes they made the first time.

and she also refused to believe that the photos were of where he lived.
Every teacher has a bad day, maybe a quick reply etc, but when he comes bakc again with the wrong thing, then you must take time to pin down what the issue is with the photos.

My daughter was bullied viciously by her reception teacher. I never would have believed it before we experienced it and would have been very much "there's two sides to every story".

Ultimately these people exist and they walk among us looking for all the world like normal humans. Your son sounds brave and sensible, believe him.

Tbh it all depends on the context. Your son may think he is being reasonable towards this teacher but an eye roll, smirk on his face, a tut, would all be cause to annoy a teacher. I think you need to speak to the teacher to get the full story.

Imo, and as a teacher, screaming at a child is never acceptable. I think this should be addressed. I also think if you are getting no response to your emails you should go to the school and wait in reception until you're seen in person.

None of these though are reasons for a teacher to shout in a pupils face or to dole out a detention to the pupil. Yes they are reasons for a teacher to get frustrated, exasperated even but not to do what the OP's son is saying this teacher is doing to him.

In regards to the homework it did meet the brief 100%, he did not only take photos of fields. He had photos of 150 year old cottages, a famous local bridge and river, bridle paths, the scarecrows from the autumn festival, ponds, the village community centre, shops and primary school etc etc. The work was excepted the second time when he stood his ground and insisted that is where we live because it is.

I went in this morning and saw the deputy head, head of pastoral care, head of year 10 and head of behaviour. I was clear that I had tried to discuss this multiple time with the year 10 coordinator that turns out is not a qualified teacher she is just the first port of contact. I stated the information that I had been give. And said I understood the teachers story might be completely different but that doesn’t mean my son is lying and I wanted a full investigation, I explained the situation was causing upset and anxiety and my so is not an anxious child which they agreed.

I heard back this afternoon when I was called into school, the teacher admitted shouting at him multiple times. She said she didn’t let him out to do the practical lessons as he hadn’t completed the written work my son was adamant he had so I asked her to show my proof in his book the work had not been done. She went to get the books to prove him wrong and it turned out my son was correct he had completed all the work set and had actually done some extra research in to shutter speeds, she stuttered and stumbled but did apologise. I have arranged to go back in tomorrow and meet with the deputy head to discuss what I would like to happen moving forward after discussing it with dh and my son at home. Any suggestions what I should be saying?

Well done - sounds like you have made good progress. If you are confident that the other teachers of this subject are good and gcse students are happy, you could ask for him to be moved, though this may not be possible depending on timetable and you don't want him to be moved presumably if the other teacher isn't good if this one is better (putting aside all this recent chaos) . Primarily the school need to tell you how they are going to facilitate your son's coursework/project so that he is not disadvantaged since this trip has been denied to him. They will inevitably have to deal with the teacher under their own systems and processes. They will also need to ensure that your son is treated fairly and carefully if he is to remain in the class.

That's really good news, and I'm so glad your son has been vindicated. Personally I would be out for blood. She shouldn't be teaching at all, and I wonder how many children she's fucked over like this in her career. An apology isn't sufficient imo, at the least she should be on unpaid leave while the school fully investigate.

Oh well done OP. That sounds like it was all really positive.

In relation to next steps, does your son still want to do the class? If so, I would just be stating that you want the teacher to be supervised closely for the next half term ( at least) and you want any issues In your sons to be flagged to you, same day, in writing.

You want him to have the best opportunities he can , so I don’t think going in all guns about getting her sacked ( as an example) is in the best interest? I bet she’s gone home feeling like a total idiot ( so she should) and will be subject to the usual process of the school in this instance anyway? Maybe seek confirmation ( i would probably want a written warning so it’s on file?)

Well done, op.

You will find the words when you have the meeting but do stress the public humiliation aspect of this; it is so wrong and damaging to a child. I went through the same and have never forgotten but it wasn't uncommon when I was young. It is definitely against the rules now.

Good luck.

Well done OP. It makes me so angry that teachers like this still exist. It's so depressingly 1980s.

Sadly, I think she's probably gone home thinking OP's son is the fuckwit that got her a bollocking, and there will be little to no self-reflection. She's a bully and bullies tend to be short on empathy, personal responsibility and introspection.