to expect dd to tolerate her brothers playing while she's trying to sleep?

[Mastmw7g]

My 10 year old likes to sleep late, but her brothers wake up early and play in the mornings. They make noise when they play. I think it's a good thing because they're spending time together and not on screens. But dd keeps getting upset that they wake her up. Then she comes out of her room and it starts a fight and dh gets upset because that wakes him up and he also likes to sleep late.

I am not an early riser naturally. I have to get up at 7 because of DS3 (and work).

That doesn’t mean 8am is the crack of dawn though!

Sounds like you're all very different so rather than arguing the virtues of early risers vs lie ins, the sensible thing to do would be to keep upstairs as the quiet zone.

As your DD reads quietly in her room once the boys are in bed at night, they can do the same in the morning while she's sleeping, or head downstairs if they want to be more active.

😂😂

Indeed. And the last couple of Saturdays here you'd definitely not be getting any sun or your face or hearing birdsong. More like freezing cold, birds sheltering and like a fucking garden hose on your face if you open the back door. Sleeping in is a perfectly valid hobby anyway.

I agree with this! Theres always the argument that sleeping beyond 5am is a lie in.

Who cares if ‘half the day is gone’?

Its much more about the fact that a generally acceptance that the standard everyone can be up and about time starts at 8 and ends at whatever time you choose (if the children are in bed at 8, then maybe you decide it’s 8).

if some people choose to sleep longer, that’s fine. But they don’t get to have a go at anyone who is just up and going about their day. Thats less true for parents - the DH may need to just accept he’s a father and his lie ins will be limited by that.

Similarly, normal daytime playing shouldn’t be excessively loud with shouting and crashing about. But it doesn’t sound like the boys are - because it’s only when the DD starts shouting and making a scene that the DH is disturbed.

Half the day is gone if OP and her boys wanted to go somewhere and her dd and husband lie in bed until 11am and aren't ready to leave until 12pm.

We all sleep til 10am if we get the chance on a weekend! I have 3dc 5, 8 and 11. Whoever wakes up first just gets their tech and chills in bed. We don't go disturbing anyone else. We're up early all week and usually have football early kick off one day of the weekend. We love our sleep in this house, I don't see it as being lazy at all. I'm a single parent so there's no sharing the load here so if I can catch up on sleep, I will.

@StockpotSoup but it’s true. It gets dark at 4.30pm and the two kids who are already awake are ready to get started with the day but they can’t because they have to wait for their dad and other sibling. Also weekend activities tend to take place in the mornings for kids so yeah, I think it’s a big chunk of the day! It would be for us anyway.

Assuming you live in a house, the boys can play somewhere further away from your dd. Unless she stays up reading until midnight, she seems to need her sleep. Some people do need more sleep than others. Not having enough sleep and rest leads to feeling miserable all day.

Maybe she is tired! At that age I was growing, having periods and getting up at 6am for school, including the travel I wasn't home until 6pm. By the weekend I was shattered

Tell the boys to play quietly. I would be mighty pissed off if they woke me up. She’s 10 and it’s fine to stay up later on a non school night!

@Mastmw7g What would you want to do if you didn't have children or a husband? Or maybe I should word it as: what would you want to do OP if say (heaven forbid) you and your husband split up, and he had all three of the children every other weekend from Friday night to Sunday night?

Are you an early riser who always wants to be up by 6.30am at the latest, or would you stay in bed until any time between 10.00am and midday on both the Saturday and Sunday? Obviously my timings are just clutched out of thin-air, maybe you just wouldn't get up at all on the Saturday?

I am much more interested in knowing what you want OP, as you are the only member of your family that doesn't really get mentioned?

OK. DD needs to go to bed earlier. 8am is perfectly acceptable to be up and playing.

Can you elaborate on this DH situation? Does he work? Work shifts? How can he stay in bed until 11? What time does he go to bed?

I agree with this completely!

I don't think 10 is late at weekends. They can be quiet until then.

DH is a parent and should be parenting.

So do I!

Send your dh to the doctor for a sleep study, parents sleeping till 11 and leaving it all to the other parent when there are children there is pretty self centred absent another reason (like our 1 yo waking me every hour- that’s a good reason but I still don’t sleep till 11!) so he should check if things are normal.

It’s not a need though, it’s a choice to go to bed later and wake up later.

Wow if it was the woman of the relationship wanting a lie in would the responses be so vicious?

In our house it’s the opposite, DH up at the crack of dawn and I could stay in bed until lunch. I have mild sleep apnoea and don’t sleep well, has anyone considered that DD and DH don’t have good quality sleep and that’s why they like their lie ins?

What a lazy shit who is doing the housework and childcare?

Thank you @Pumpkinspicelattetime
I get early 5 days a week sometimes to do a 5 hour round trip commute. My husband gets up at half 5 5 days a week and does full days manual labor. We love the fact we don't have to get up early at weekend. Even the dogs know its the weekend and dont get up early. Nothing as nice as waking up around 10 or 11am and feeling like you have had a lovely restful sleep aswell as knowing your day is free and don't need to rush anywhere. There is nothing wrong with having a sleep in and unless your husband is a useless lazy bastard don't see anything wrong with him wanting a sleep in. My memories off weekends as a child often are getting up Saturday morning and sitting for ages on the sofa watching cartoons. My parents would go back to bed for a sleep in or potter around in background cleaning etc - It wasnt every weekend but it was some weekends.
Nothing wrong with your kids playing however i do think its a bit weird that toys not allowed downstairs? Just put a basket downstairs and in the eve all toys go in baskets so space tidy for adults

Unless you have plans to go anywhere at the weekend i see nothing wrong with some wanting to sleep in and some wanting to play toys, just move the boys downstairs

@Whiteday why are you being so nasty calling a young girl "princess" in such a way?

Oh and neither do her brothers "run"
The house.

The OP has stated she rises early & DH rises late.

The home has to accomodate both preferences in as pleasant and kind a way as possible.

The boys can learn to play downstairs or in their rooms quietly just as easily as any other plan.

#bonkers

Absolutely 👏🏻

My Dh was a late sleeper as was Dd. If she was up early I’d get up with her.

He would them take over in the evenings when my energy was lower.