Not invited :(

[BlueNavy]

Mum friends just posted on FB them all out drinking and having fun tonight. I'm on the sofa watching telly, wasn't invited and really upset about it. All people I'm friends with and I would have loved to have gone. No falling out, get on with everyone, I hate that things like this happen. Feeling shit now and wondering what else I've missed. Only know cause of stupid social media.😔

That’s just shitty behaviour, so sorry OP 😢. I would have to call them on it, no they don’t have to invite you but they aren’t really friends then are they, friends don’t do that.

I need updates.

This must feel really upsetting. Is there one friend you are particularly close to you could just ask? It could be as simple as some crossed wires with them all thinking someone else has asked.

Sounds awful and I hope they read this. They know who they are. Reminds me of my girl in a girls only private school. Women together bringing out the worst. Often this is jealousy!!

It's shit, happened to me too. Even if you try and let it not hurt it still does. I'd prefer to have never been invited out as part of the group than to have been and then not - that's rejection right there and unless someone tells you what the reason is there is no knowing..
No words of advice but you're not the only one and if you think about it you'll know who your true friends are.
Also, for those who are always in the group invited out, have a thought for those suddenly not invited - even if it wasn't you doing the inviting.

I experienced something very similar and got some great advice on here. I’ve since moved away from the group and made some new friends, we’re not as close as the old group but I’m hoping it will develop. Your “friends” don’t sound like friends based on what you’ve said.

I know exactly how you feel and your feelings are totally justified. Time to expand your social circle, it’s hard work and scary but you’ll find better friends in the long term. Good luck OP.

That’s a lovely reply.

Hugs lovely, I have kind of the same with one friend, she never forgets plans with others , but me it's always "Oh I forgot". I just kind of just let her bs coz it goes through one ear & out of the other. I don't call her anymore. I just don't have time for friendships like this.

I think she means they’re friends who are also mums eg they met at an antenatal or something

It happened to me at college. My best friend suddenly ghosted me, along with some other friends in our social group. I tried to make contact but couldn't (no mobile phones or social media in those days). I never found out the reason, and decided it wasn't worth dwelling on if they didn't have the decency to explain themselves.

If you can't think of anything you have said or done to cause them to leave you out, then it can't be your fault. They don't deserve to have you as a friend if that's how they behave. Unless they contact you to apologise and explain, I'd move on and don't look back. You will make new friends who won't let you down.

I’m another vote for leaving the group chat. I well remember how my DD felt when she was receiving snap chat photos from across the (rural) road and her entire study group had been invited except for her..

if any of those friends want to approach you individually later it’s on them, but I would hazard a guess and say there’s a troublemaker in the group who specialises in singling people out and excluding them.

Sorry to hear that, it’s their loss. Hugs
It could have been a simple mistake

Which reply? Who are you talking to?

@BlueNavy

Have you heard or spoken with any of them today?

Let us now how you are.

In situations like this, I just reassign their importance in my life. MN loves to advise people to ditch bad friends, but that just results in you being more alone. It's better to just lower your expectations of these people so they still have a place in your life for when it suits you. People suck.

Any update OP?
Similar thing happened to me. As PP have said, I'd rather be alone than have fake "friends". So I am alone. It sucks, but there it is

Agreed.

I would ask the organiser directly if there was some reason why you weren't invited. Your next move depends then on the response you get to the question. Good luck with it!, If its deliberate, then I would step back from this group. I know you said you can't as this is your entire freindship group. However, if they did this on purpose, they are not your freinds!

That’s really painful. I remember an actual physical pain in my stomach during a similarish situation. But, there could be two things going on here:-

1. they have another group chat that you aren’t on, it is that bad and this is the beginning of the end
2. they still like you but for whatever reason have decided to go out without you. What has your child done?

Generally if you are averagely polite and friendly, don’t argue, don’t talk about yourself, moan or cause problems then it will be diet/husband/clothes/job etc. who knows?

After my stomach churning experience, I decided that I’m too sociable to sit home alone but I couldn’t trust people that way again, so I made lots of different types of friends who don’t know each other. Eggs in many baskets is the key.

I hope it’s nothing OP.

I had similar, although less hurtful because I’m not geographically in the same place. But I’ve decided to delete social media. Did it two weeks ago and I don’t regret a thing.

Very insensitive of your so-called friends. Pretty brazen given that they know that you will feel excluded.

I was invited out to lunch by a bunch of work (all female) collegues recently and hardly anyone spoke to me; they were in their little cliques (I am a newcomer) and I was left bored out of my mind. Some were making a point of avoiding eye contact, body language - all that stuff. I had trecked a long way to get there as well. They were in for the long haul so after a couple of hours, I got up, made my excuses and left. I will not waste my time on ill mannered people who couldn't give a toss.. Now I don't accept the invites. Time is increasingly precious and I've got a dozen other things I could be doing...

Fuck. Them. Off.

This happened to me with my only group of mum friends and I was devastated at the time, but now I genuinely don't care about them. Iif they wanted to be a bunch of mean girls then fuck them. I've found new friends who aren't still acting like they're at school.

However, I have lowered my expectations of what friendship is and genuinely don't expect much these days. I try to be breezy and not get bogged down in what everyone else is doing.

Sorry this has happened to you, but you need to sack them off and walk away with your dignity in tact.

This literally reminds me of an incident in school, year 7 to be precise… I was off sick for a day or 2, came back and was alienated by my whole friendship group; literally everyone just stopped talking to me. This is childish, straight up rude and out of order. You asked if there were plans and were ignored DO NOT beg for a reason as to why you were left out just do yourself a favour and leave them to it!

Not sure the op is coming back , but I note she says mum friends and not just friends, which makes me think this is something to do with school. It’s odd though if it’s always the 8 and now one being deliberately excluded. Or if maybe there is more to this, ie it was organic, ie 3 arranged to meet up. Who invited someone else who invited someone else and so on, rather than they didn’t invite. No one replying on group chat is weird though, that looks like a fall out.

Did any of your so called friends respond to your comment on the post or at least have the decency to speak to you about their weekend outing