To have told DH to get the fuck off me?

[Probablynotright]

It’s not like me but Saturday mornings are a massive stress as swimming is early and we’re always late which pisses me off as it’s really expensive and I feel it makes us look bad.

So this morning is the usual chaos despite me being up since 6 and it looked like we might make it on time - I asked DH to pass me something and he kicked it towards me (an item of clothing) and then started giggling at my face. He then came over and started cuddling me and trying to kiss me and I hissed to get the fuck off me.

I know it was an overreaction but he does wind me up so much when we’re rushing.

It was a thoroughly unpleasant post and there have been a lot of them, I really don’t feel warranted.

Get off mumsnet op
call or meet a friend in RL to chat things through

So don’t subject yourself to it then.

leave

and talk in RL to a friend

what’s your husband doing now out of interest?

Best to leave the thread or ask for it to be removed OP and crack on with your weekend. It's really not worth getting upset over a bunch of keyboard kritters who take joy in ripping you down for no reason whatsoever.

Why do you want to know what my husband is doing?

Thanks @Pizzalover46

Then the more practise he gets alone with her, the better, surely?

I think a lot of these comments are harsh but I also think you're putting yourself through loads of unnecessary stress every week. Just take DD on your own and leave your husband with the baby - he'll be absolutely fine by himself, honestly.

Yabu to be worried about this I tell my partner to fuck off daily

To poster foxglove soup (erm, nice !) - How fortunate for you that you don't appear to have young children to look after on a Saturday then. It's spectacularly unempathetic and unpleasant to come on here posting as you are when OP is clearly in very different circumstances. Not entirely clear what is motivating you to keep hacking away.

has he taken the children off so you can de stress? Doing lunch so you can chill?

OP, ignore the idiots. You've done nothing wrong.

The reason all four of us go is DH can’t settle the baby well,
So? The baby will get used to him. He will adapt. And worse case the baby doesn’t settle, then it’s only for a very very short period of time

Thanks @fascinatingdei . I do actually agree I shouldn’t have sworn at him but turning it into ‘you take DD swimming, you absolute idiot’ is crazy.

I’ve explained why the baby comes with us - she can nap and DH gets chill time. I’m really not the ogre I’m being presented as!

Lol @Differentstarts

I’ve explained why the baby comes with us - she can nap and DH gets chill time. I’m really not the ogre I’m being presented as!

Nobody said anything about you being an ogre.

But DH could (and would) cope with the baby on his own at home if he had to. Just leave them behind and save yourself the drama.

Op, people on MN can be weird about this stuff.

It is quite usual to put up with stress in order to get your DC to worthwhile activities and swimming is DEFINITELY a worthwhile activity. Ignore anyone suggesting cancelling or changing time slots (they clearly have little experience of the difficulties in getting decent swimming lesson times!).

Your DH sounds like he occasionally picks the wrong bloody time to be silly. He deserved to be hissed at.

I’ve explained why the baby comes with us - she can nap and DH gets chill time. I’m really not the ogre I’m being presented as!

but if he chilled at home (ok no macdonalds) then you could leave for swimming not on the edge of a nervous breakdown. Baby could still be In pjs

there has been far too much emphasis on where you were going rather than the behaviour of you and your dh

count to ten next time op,
set your clocks 10 minutes ahead

That's the penalty I'm afraid of posting here. You will always get a pile on. I agree with @Pizzalover46. Ask to have your thread deleted as some replies are just hurtful and upsetting.

I don't know where some of these posters are coming from!! I'd be pretty pissed off too if I was in a rush, stressed, and my husband kicked something I'd asked him for, then laughed at me and tried to grope me!!! I'd have told him to fuck off too!

In the kindest way - and so many idiots have been way less than kind! - I think you are putting yourself under huge stress!! If you must, take your DD on your own. Your DH will never be good with the baby unless you leave him to it.

Secondly, and it's only my opinion, your eldest is very young for swimming lessons. The swimming club wouldn't take mine until they were 5. I also had a rule of no weekend activities (thankfully they weren't good enough to be picked for teams later on!). Could you go on a waiting list for a different slot?

I'm not criticising in any way but sometimes you have to compromise to make things easier for you, especially when you have more than one child.

Best wishes x

As do you.

Are you getting some kind of kick out of being nasty?

This woman has been up since 6am!!!!!

i think as they say you have a dh problem-hes not good with the baby why not?

does he get up do feeds changing bedtime have alone time with them

you shouldnt manage two kids onyour own whn you have husband

Such an unhelpful response to a minor incident.

piffle.
It is important to show the DCs how to arrange their schedule so they don't have so much stress (eg get everything ready the night before, leave plenty of time for the things that have to be done, parents working as a team to reduce the stress of rushing around...)

So OP and her DH have to find a way to make getting out to swimming less stressful (looking at all things including not doing swimming) as well as making it clear that this kind of behaviour isn't helpful. And yes, indeed finding appropriate times to have fun.

@Probablynotright

Mumsnet can be a very supportive place for women. But once in a while, especially on AIBU you do get a pile on where the op is in the wrong for everything. It especially happens when it’s evidently about the woman having to deal with most or all of the mental load in a home situation and her husband is ‘more laid back’.

Organising extra curricula for children? Wrong.

On the weekend? Wrong.

Expecting husband to instinctively know to get on with things rather than stand around or go for a 40 min shit? Very wrong.

Expecting husband to not be touchy with you when you’re trying to sort out everything? Wrong wrong wrong.

Getting stressed because everything falls to you? The most wrong - women naturally can get themselves and their families organised and you should appreciate your husband even got out of bed for such a thing as ‘entertaining the children on a weekend’. Do it with a smile on your face, for goodness sake!

TLDR: Either do everything without ever getting frustrated like a good wife or never do anything at all. It’s in the Mumsnet Users Guide to being a complete pushover/tradwife.

I think you overreacted @Probablynotright because (possibly?) DH has been pissing you off and you've let it simmer.

I don't want to put the onus only on you but a conversation could help along the lines of 'DH we are always late to swimming and it is quite stressful, how can we make this better' ect ect

It doesn't matter if it's swimming, or another activity, if it's stressful trying to get out the door it needs to be addressed. Swimming isn't the issue here you loons lol.