Did guests bring you precooked meals when you had a newborn?

[Redcargidan]

Not an AIBU but a question. We have a newborn baby. Multiple people have asked me if our friends/family/visitors have brought things like precooked meals in tupperware (that can just be put in the microwave) when they visit, that sort of thing.
Nobody has done this and nobody did when our eldest was a newborn. In truth, nothing would be more appreciated right now than a meal I did not have to cook. Is this a thing? Do other people generally do this, or are the people that have said it just expectant?

I am fighting the urge to spend a fortune on takeaways because we are way too tired to cook, and am VERY jealous if other people generally receive precooked meals from visitors!
YABU - this isn't really a done thing
YANBU - this is a thing

The temptation to ask people to bring these instead of clothes that will only fit baby for 1 week when they come round! (Joking but wish I had the balls to do this )

A couple of people did for us, but what was lovely was it was surprising people. Not people I was very close to, just people who messaged and said “would you like dinner”?

i have done it for others, though not for ages.

Yes, mother in law got us a new oven cooked meals and went and got us loads of goodies and shopping on arrival home.

With DD2 mother in law took us to Costco and we stocked up on things like the mac & cheese and carbonara and chicken pasta salad.

That helped so much, along with lack of appetite then eventually take aways.

X

I didn't vote because I'm in the US. It's common here though. Friends, family, neighbors, people from church. They all brought food after all three of my birthday. It's common to do when someone is ill or has surgery or a bereavement also.

I have had 5 kids and no,no one ever and thats because i have told no visits early on. I have had c sections with all my babies so husband has taken over all cooking/cleaning and during the first days he orders older siblings a takeaway for dinner so he can whizz around the house and tidy up.

We like it this way we dont do guests for the first two weeks at all,i just want to nurse and chill with the baby and make time and give attention to my older children. After a few weeks immediate family members,but only short visits and no passing the baby around, too much work to ask guests to wash their hands/not kiss the baby etc- people dont offen respect i dont care for anyones feelings but my babys health comes first and i cba to deal with drama or thread on ice.

My mum did for both my kids, she makes extra of what she’s cooking and brings it round which is a huge help, especially as second was in NICU. My best friend made me brownies and I took her a lasagne and some other bits when she came out of hospital with her daughter.

No. But I had no problem cooking (snd often my husband did it when not working). I mean the kids are there but I still cooked!

No but I hadn't heard that it was a thing so wasn't disappointed.

When I was pregnant, I came across a recommendation to batch cook so had loads of stuff in the freezer, ready which really helped.

No one ever did it for us. But after both my brothers children I spent weeks making meals and dropping them off, in addition to a big voucher to order pre made meals/takeaway. I’ve made meals for friends and taken around coffees and baked goods.

My SIL did this for us the first time round and it was incredibly helpful and kind. With baby #2 we did get some things in from Cook but actually I found ready meals were the best option. Things you can microwave in 3 minutes rather than having to remember to put in the oven.

The healthiest ones I found were the M&S Eat Well range or BOL pots of things like laksa noodles. We also ate a lot of beans on toast!

No one cooked for us or helped out with DS1 as I was fine, but MIL cleaned the house when I had DS2 as I had a section. As soon as she heard that she got cleaning and hoovered and dusted throughout and did the bathroom. It wasn’t bad before but we were very grateful. My DB and SIL went to get fish and chips for us all the day they visited which was great as well. But no visitors ever brought ready cooked meals other than that.

Nobody did for us. I know of churches that organise rotas to do this for people but ours never did. We've been the only ones to have a baby for the last 5 years though so its hard to initiate it if you're requesting it. My sister was too far to visit in the early weeks so did send takeaway vouchers.

However we did receive meals after our babies died. Which was a wonderful outpouring of love and very much appreciated.

No but my MIL turned up for her first visit post birth with a box of homemade cookies for my partner because she didn't think I'd have felt up to baking..nothing for me of course having spent 1.5 days pushing out her grandchild.

Wow, I have no words

No, you’re just a normal typical arsehole!!

Also, what if you’ve had twins or triplets? Or are ill after giving birth or one of a million things.

Life isn’t actually a race to the bottom- if someone else has something nice done for them it doesn’t take anything away from you.

I was totally mental after I had my son, basically capable of being a milk machine and absolutely nothing else.

My mum did with my first but it was during covid and the only way she could help. She used to leave them on our doorstep then we would have a socially distanced coffee in the front garden (she would bring a flask). The fact that she had touched the food and the bag etc was conveniently forgotten (what a weird time!)

With my second I actually discovered my love of cooking so got a lot more adventurous with it.

The only person I know who does this is my mum, who loves absolutely any excuse to provide people with a lasagne, a pasta bake, a shepherd’s pie, a homemade quiche, a chicken casserole, an apple crumble and about fourteen cakes. You wouldn’t even need to have a baby, tbh, you could just mention that you’d been a bit busy lately and she’d be round with an assortment of Tupperwares and Pyrex dishes.

Sounds a lot like both my late Mum and MiL. For both of them food = love and they loved to show that love every chance they got.

For my Dad, love was doing those 'odd jobs' from replacing a light bulb to wiring in a new light socket. We used to tease him that his motto should be 'have screwdriver, will travel'. FiL was the 'garden king'. He'd show up with random plants or flowers that our yard 'needed'.

I think this way of showing love was generational. They were all children of the Great Depression and WWII. Love wasn't spoken so much in words, but shown in deeds.

No. Family & good friends came round and cooked, and did housework. DH pulled his weight too. I stayed in bedroom comfortable and relaxed with baby. Everyone just got on with it really. If you've got no-one maybe you've moved far away from or not kept contact with family and friends? Its a hard road if thats the case. Who are these "people" who are asking then? Personally I'd buy takeaways if that's what you want to do. It's knackering having a newborn so do whatever makes things easier for you.

My sister in law brought plates of food over every day for a week. It was great food too, salmon, cooked dinners, really nutritious stuff.

Surprised me actually as she's normally a bitch lol

Other SIL used to come and clean while I slept

No, but I’ve left ready to heat meals on my friend’s doorstep when she had her baby.

Quite common from what I’ve seen, but I am in a reasonably large church, and it seems a lot of churches do a meal rota for a couple of weeks/months when someone has had a baby

Yes, in my culture it's very normal for family and friends to rally around a woman who's just had a baby - they bring her and her family food and snacks. Even while she's still in hospital, because they know hospital food sucks!

Drop me her number? I hate cooking and I stubbed my toe last week 😃