Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Did guests bring you precooked meals when you had a newborn?

540 replies

Redcargidan · 10/11/2023 17:04

Not an AIBU but a question. We have a newborn baby. Multiple people have asked me if our friends/family/visitors have brought things like precooked meals in tupperware (that can just be put in the microwave) when they visit, that sort of thing.
Nobody has done this and nobody did when our eldest was a newborn. In truth, nothing would be more appreciated right now than a meal I did not have to cook. Is this a thing? Do other people generally do this, or are the people that have said it just expectant?

I am fighting the urge to spend a fortune on takeaways because we are way too tired to cook, and am VERY jealous if other people generally receive precooked meals from visitors!
YABU - this isn't really a done thing
YANBU - this is a thing

The temptation to ask people to bring these instead of clothes that will only fit baby for 1 week when they come round! (Joking but wish I had the balls to do this )

OP posts:
DragonFly98 · 10/11/2023 20:57

Yes our local community provides a two week meal rota for new mums and their husband/children.

PinkyBlueMe · 10/11/2023 20:57

No, and in fact DMIL arrived with a bag of muddy rhubarb when DS was less than 24 hours old, and suggested I could make a rhubarb pie for DH.
I hate rhubarb which she knows.
She's lucky I didn't insert it somewhere for her.

MammaTo · 10/11/2023 21:01

Yeah we had it done for us. My mum and MIL took turns bringing us stuff. Very lucky.

PurpleWhirple · 10/11/2023 21:01

Some close family and friends brought us meals. It was 15 years ago and I can still remember how much I appreciated the lovely homemade steak pie that my mums best friend brought us. A gorgeous iced fruit cake also sticks in the memory.

I do it for friends and family with newborns too. Usually something savoury and often a batch of scones with some strawberries and clotted cream, that one is always popular.

starfishmummy · 10/11/2023 21:05

No one did it for us. However DS had to go into hospital at 10 days and I stayed with him and while we were away, relatives took meals to DH. As soon as we were home again we were left to fend for ourselves.

Dweetfidilove · 10/11/2023 21:07

Maggiethecat · 10/11/2023 18:49

@Dweetfidilove - What?! No oxtail and rice an’ peas? 😂

Show quote history

🤣🤣🤣 She’ll be with her mom who has that bit covered, so instead of babygro…

Oxtails and rice and peas can resume when she gets back home ☺️

addictedtotheflats · 10/11/2023 21:14

My friends have got me a voucher for a weeks worth of pre prepared meals to be delivered when I have the baby. I can't wait!

lap90 · 10/11/2023 21:18

My Church like a lot of Churches do this too.

If you aren't a member of such a community have you made meals for new parents and/or those who are sick in your circle?

GreyDuck · 10/11/2023 21:24

I'm curious about the cultures where it's NOT normal to bring food.
I've always taken food when I visited new babies. A meal for people I know well, and cake for people I'm not so close to. I suppose if I was visiting someone whose usual diet was very different to mine, I'd be more uncertain.

MyAnacondaMight · 10/11/2023 21:38

I do. I bring deli type stuff for lunch (quiche, boxed salads etc.) when I visit, and a couple of easy heat meals for the fridge or freezer that I know they’ll like.

SwordToFlamethrower · 10/11/2023 21:45

No fucker did.
Mil came a few days after birth because she had lost her keys and needed dh set (she travelled 100 miles on a coach!)

Expected to be fed, expected to hold my baby. Then she left the next day. (I didn't allow her to hold the baby!)

Fil came to visit and they all expected a big fancy meal too.

I did fuck all. Husband saw to them. Cheeky fuckers the lot of them.

Even my reflexologist gave me a food parcel gift and I had only met her twice!

soundsys · 10/11/2023 21:48

When I had my second child a parent at my eldest's nursery made a HUGE veggie lasagne and portioned it all up and gave it to me. I might have cried. It was so amazing.

Twinsforthewin · 10/11/2023 21:50

Yes, but we had twins 😜 it was awesome mmmmm my husband's aunt's hotpot mmmmmmm

Sorry, just tell your friends to bring something if they're coming?

UsingChangeofName · 10/11/2023 22:02

Nobody did for us, but I always do (well, when I know the person well enough - but then, I suppose if I'm not that close, I wouldn't be visiting in the first couple of weeks anyway).

At very least, I'd take cake. But generally, a meal or two.

EversoDisorganised · 10/11/2023 22:09

It's not something I've ever come across, I'd actually have hated it if someone had set up a rota to feed us. A cake or something would be OK but no to actual meals.

nowtygaffer · 10/11/2023 22:25

My lovely late MIL cooked me the most amazing roast dinner when I came out of hospital after my EMCS. She was a great cook and I think it was the first proper food I'd eaten in about 5 days. I can still remember taste the chicken and cabbage now.

snoreb · 10/11/2023 22:26

Very interesting how people who think it would have been lovely for them to have this, haven't done it for anyone else... so as long as you've got food and someone is running around after you that's fine and anyone else who might have a baby in the future 'well I have 2 children now, I'm very tired and very busy'

sunshineandshowers40 · 10/11/2023 22:42

My mum and MIL did, was, wasn't expected but much appreciated

UsingChangeofName · 10/11/2023 22:54

snoreb · 10/11/2023 22:26

Very interesting how people who think it would have been lovely for them to have this, haven't done it for anyone else... so as long as you've got food and someone is running around after you that's fine and anyone else who might have a baby in the future 'well I have 2 children now, I'm very tired and very busy'

eh ?
Just 3 posts above this, I've said that's exactly what I do....

Jk987 · 10/11/2023 23:27

YouWontHearTheLastOfIt · 10/11/2023 20:53

Nobody ever did it for us when our kids were born. In fact, nobody helped with anything.

You have to ask. Most friends and family would love to help. You'd do it for them.

Jk987 · 10/11/2023 23:29

PinkLemons99 · 10/11/2023 20:41

Sounds like a lovely idea.

It was just me and DH when DS was born and DH doesn’t cook ever and there were no visitors so I guess at least I wasn’t feeding extra people. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Your DH didn't cook a single thing for when you'd just had a baby? Not even egg on toast?

SnacksToTheMax · 10/11/2023 23:38

Not quite the same, but my husband’s parents gave us a big Cook voucher, so we could choose and order loads of decent ready meals to have in the freezer for nights when we were too tired to cook ourselves. It was great.

My best mate also did regular homemade cake deliveries and a few meals, because she’s lovely. Early visitors coming to see our newborn would bring lunch for everyone when they came (not my suggestion - they just did). I felt very lucky! I’m not one to ask for help, ever, but I really appreciated it.

I did also batch cook and freeze loads of meals in my crazy nesting phase, which I was very glad of in the early newborn days.

WombatBombat · 10/11/2023 23:41

A friend of mine has had a baby this week, and a couple of us have dropped off cottage pie, lasagne, bolognaise, chilli and some brownies.

Not completely planned, but we all have kids and that’s what we said we’d have loved, so we’ve decided to do it now for anyone we know who has a baby.

ElizaCBennett · 10/11/2023 23:55

My DB & SIL brought a cooked chicken, frozen chips (which she cooked) and a loaf of bread ready buttered! We had children similar ages and it was much appreciated!! And a home made apple pie - I’ve still got the dish it came in lol.

TakeMe2Insanity · 11/11/2023 04:01

I think theres a difference between people offering and you accepting v you asking. I think if you are in the asking camp then you really should have batch cooked filled the freezer with things. I’m due this week my freezer has lots of easy meals for DC, lots of short cuts for meals that can be put in the instant pot etc.