Did guests bring you precooked meals when you had a newborn?

[Redcargidan]

Not an AIBU but a question. We have a newborn baby. Multiple people have asked me if our friends/family/visitors have brought things like precooked meals in tupperware (that can just be put in the microwave) when they visit, that sort of thing.
Nobody has done this and nobody did when our eldest was a newborn. In truth, nothing would be more appreciated right now than a meal I did not have to cook. Is this a thing? Do other people generally do this, or are the people that have said it just expectant?

I am fighting the urge to spend a fortune on takeaways because we are way too tired to cook, and am VERY jealous if other people generally receive precooked meals from visitors!
YABU - this isn't really a done thing
YANBU - this is a thing

The temptation to ask people to bring these instead of clothes that will only fit baby for 1 week when they come round! (Joking but wish I had the balls to do this )

Yes, friends did a meal rota for 2 weeks. It was wonderful and much appreciated. I have done the same for many friends when they've had babies or been ill. Normal in our community.

A friend made me a bunch of meals, and I cried tears of relief into all of them. My Mum also stayed for a bit, cooked while she was there, and filled the freezer for after she'd gone. I've either cooked for friends (local) or have sent Cook meals or vouchers. I always give a few options so that I'm not giving people things they won't eat.

To the person who mentioned being incompetent - good for you that you clearly pushed a baby out and kept on going. For those of us who had a significant birth injury that was completely ignored by the medical professionals who were well aware that we'd have had a case against the hospital, it wasn't quite as simple. No matter how competent we are in the rest of our lives.

No, but I did ask them to before I had my son, and every one said they would but no one did.

However a few months in when sleep deprivation truly did hit me, the freezer was too disorganised for batch cooked mes and I had no energy to sort it, my partner at the time did splurge on an instant pot for me, and everything we ate for an entire year was thrown into one pot and cooked together, and we had more paper plate/bowl nights than I care to admit.

It was honestly a lifesaver for me, when I'd asked for the help but the help wasn't coming.

didnt make my son's dad less useless though and suddenly take up some of the cooking.

SleepingStandingUp · Today 17:10

"Why can't DH cook? You just brought life into the world. You are the reasons his genetics continue into the next generation. You literally bore his legacy for the future. Make him cook you dinner."

My DH does cook, almost every day, after 11 hours with the baby though it's nice to be able to hand him the baby so I can shower or sleep or just not be the one solely responsible for them for a while.
Also my baby has cried for hours this afternoon. Nothing would settle them, not even feeding. I was in tears. I am exhausted. DH has come home, a little late after needing to go to the shop for extra pads for me thanks to starting bleeding again (TMI I know but included to show he certainly does his bit), intending to cook dinner but I've suggested takeaway so he can take the baby for a bit after I've fed him yet again. I also suggested getting it delivered to help me further but that's a step too far apparently. But an idea of how knackered I am today.

We did plan ahead and freeze a few meals, but unfortunately they contain dairy and baby possibly had cmpa so we can't actually use them 😭.

maslinpan · Today 17:19

"There's a group where I live called Meals for Mums. I had 6 precooked meals from 6 different people over a fortnight when I had my DCs. Some people I knew, others I didn't. When my kids were a bit older I then returned the favour for anyone who needed or, it was an absolute godsend."

This sounds amazing! Such a lovely thing to be part of.

My MIL did it for me
both times. She has her faults, but I will love her forever for that alone. Though DH cooked too, so that was half the battle.

My mum made us a huge pan of macaroni cheese when I had my son. We lived off it for a week, it was amazing!

You don’t even have to have had a delivery trauma to struggle to cook healthy meals after giving birth.
Nothing to do with incompetence - every family has their own issues - some more than others.

I suspect more people than not would be grateful to have one or more fewer meals to prepare even if they won’t readily admit it.

No. Nobody brought or did anything.
We were mostly left to it tbh.

No is the short answer.

However my MIL did cook us meals for a week and brought them over takeaway style either hot and steaming or ready to heat up. Also I vaguely remember clubbing together to buy Cooks Vouchers for a friend who lived far away as a practical gift.

I know it's popular in the USA, especially with church communities.

My family did and few mates sent food. Someone sent a full weekly shop, it was quite random. My family are kind of feeders and the friends who sent food were parents themselves so I think knew it was a good gift.

It’s a good idea to batchcook and freeze before..

No one helped me whatsoever. So when my eldest had hers, I was prepared and made them really simple meals including massive lasagnes/cottage pies that would feed them for 2/3 days and they could just reheat it when they liked. And slow cookers full of fresh home made soup.

When she had her last baby, my SIL rang from the hospital to say all was well and get the pasta bake on the go as it was what DD was craving!!

Another one who was helped by church friends who supplied meals. Was living far from family. Also second time in different place same thing. In my circle people also do this when someone is ill/bereaved so can be an English thing too I think.(PP thought not) I didn’t know about Cook new parents pack so will definitely use that for anyone further away. It is lovely to take care of each other and that is what makes communities connected, so many people saying we have lost thatso great to hear all these good stories.

A friend bought us a month worth of these for the freezer. It was amazing

@Dweetfidilove To be fair - it's a tip I learned off Mumsnet about the best gift for a new Mum!

Nobody did for us with baby no 1. The first day home we were in Asda stocking up on ready meals and bread and milk. No2 we were Allowed home on Christmas Eve, my mum had stocked us up with food, left us a quiche and sandwiches. Mum and dad came over on Christmas Day and cooked dinner for us all. Apart from that we did it ourselves.

Yes, various friends and colleagues did this with our first and again now with our second. My work did a collection for us with this baby and sent COOK vouchers which have been much appreciated - we already have loads of baby stuff from our first so this was a great idea. When I go to visit people with new babies I generally bring snacks and a meal they'd like along with a gift.

A Saudi couple we know brought around a delicious rice and lamb dish with a traditional date pudding after the birth of our second child. I was so thoughtful and appreciated. Hope to pass on the kindness ...

It was

I did do a few 'meals on wheels' when my DD gave birth

One of my friends/neighbours brought a casserole round as a present. It was delicious and is my most memorable present. I will be forever grateful!

Most didn't. I pointed them towards the fridge and asked them to make some sandwiches!

We had a mixture of gifts for both our children, some food for us, flowers and lots of very kind “you look amazing!” Which were lies I looked like death, but I did love my friends and family for it. And I learnt what to take with me when they had babies.

with our second I was definitely more reserved with how many people came to visit, with our first I was far too accommodating and I found out the hard way some people really just want to cuddle a baby and don’t really care about mum.

No one has ever topped the CF-ery since my sort of friend (now ex friend) who came round to see me and baby with her very active toddler. I’d had a really rough emergency c-section with a week long stay in hospital. I was thoroughly traumatised, enough so I ended up suicidal and in therapy, but I digress! She sat cuddling my sleeping new born and asked me to keep an eye on her son as she didn’t want to disturb her. He was crawling everywhere so I had to keep getting on the floor with him and picking him up. She had the usual cups of tea and biscuits, relayed why her birth was so much worse then mine (without even hearing what happened, she just talked at me for nearly 2hrs)

Once baby woke up for a feed she took that as her time to leave, handed her back and said we should get together again next week.

Fuck no! Never spoke to her again. I ripped stitches that day moving round so much while she enjoyed cuddling my sleeping 6lb baby. i learnt a lot about boundaries that day.

My friend ordered us a surprise box of Cook meals with my second which was hands down the best baby gift we’ve ever received.

We got given a home made pie with our first, but the friend was a pub chef who made a lot of pies. No home cooked meals from regular friends and family members with either child.

This type of comment is so spectacularly close-minded as to be unbelievable. I couldn't stand up. Literally couldn't stand up. DH didn't know which way was up. We were both in shock from what had just happened. We did throw something in the oven. We threw in what friends and family had, in their infinite kindness, gifted us.

Honestly, some people on this thread really need to remember that if you can't say something nice, don't bother saying anything at all. To anyone with a newborn reading this, regardless of whether or not you had the easiest birth in the world, pay no attention at all to anyone who tries to put you down.

Yes. There was a formalised rota