AIBU to not drive partner to work while on maternity leave during bus strike?

[AmIclutchingpearls]

My partner can't drive and so can't get to work during the current bus strikes.

He usually works 1 day a week at home and 4 in the office. He works in finance and can do his job entirely remotely. Unfortunately his employer (large company) are insisting he goes in at least 3 days - the reasons given are that his contract doesn't allow full homeworking and apparently one colleague has asked why he should get 'special treatment'.

We live in a rural location so no transport option other than me driving him there then picking him up (total 4 hours driving per day, 12 hours per week). I am on maternity leave so could theoretically do it but I really don't want to if it can be avoided!

Partner's uncle and sister both live close to his work so I have suggested he could ask if he could stay with one of them 2 nights a week (or 1 night each) meaning I would only have to drive him there Tuesday morning and pick him up Thursday after work. He is close to them and they regularly stay over at our house at weekends but he won't even ask them!

AIBU to say he asks his family to put him up 1 or 2 nights a week temporarily or finds his own alternative?

Also, any other advice around dealing with his employer or other options more than welcome!

Thank you all!

This is true, where my DH works part of the requirements of the job is you have your own transport, if you rely on public transport you wouldn’t even be considered.

if The husbands employer hasn’t specified that then there’s they must know that there’s not much he can do about strikes, it isn’t his fault and his company should be lenient for the duration, especially as he can do his whole job without even leaving the house! It’s madness to make him go in tbh.

Why on earth does he live so far from his place of work if he can't drive?

I don't think you are being unreasonable. That is a long time in a car with a newborn baby and wastes a good chunk of your day. Surely if its due to bus strikes, can't he speak to his employer and say for the next 7 weeks he will work fully remote due to bus strikes. What would he do if you weren't on maternity leave?

It really is far too much. Driving for 4 hours a day with a newborn whilst also doing the school drop offs and pick ups. It's just not doable. Very bad for the baby to be in a car seat for so long too. I can't believe people are saying YABU!
The whole situation is unsustainable. Your DH shouldn't live so far from work if he can't drive and public transport is unreliable. Also he really needs to learn how to drive. I was absolutely terrified of learning to drive but I did it at 35 because as a family we need us both to drive.

Potstoheads, him driving or not is massively pertinent to this discussion, he's chosen a job that puts massive pressure on his family if the one mode of transport there goes wrong, a long commute is bad enough

How long is the bus strike on for?

Yep I often drive 60/90mins each way to work esp if London

I've never commuted that far in my life

"It didn't happen to me, so it doesn't happen"

Classic.

I would never ask relatives to put me up three nights a week for 12 weeks because I can’t drive to get to work - no wonder he doesn’t want to ask! I’d look at car sharing sites before I’d do that. Or tell the employer it’s not possible to go in for 12 weeks - I think your reasons are valid enough.

Depends how much he needs his job too. You may just have to do it or risk him losing his job.

Up to 12 weeks I think but they've also said "indefinitely"

Because there is a decent public transport infrastructure.

If Go North East paid their employees properly then the OP and her OH and his employer wouldn't be in this situation. Because for the last 2 years, since he moved, he has successfully got himself to and from work via the reliable public transport.

Let's not lose sight of who is at fault here. Go North East pay their drivers something like £3.00 per hour less than Go North West pay theirs. Its a disgrace.

You should look up the guidance on how long babies can safely spend in a car seat. Off the top of my head 2 hours is the limit.

If he won't even ask family then he's out of order. If family say no and you can't find cheep air b&b or something then I think you should drive him.

I'd consider putting in a grievance at work. I'm self employed so don't know how it works but if he can do his work from home and everyone knows about the bus strikes they are just being ridiculous

Given the circumstances (bus strike + new born + it's temporary + holiday over Christmas (can he take more to show willing?) I really can't see a big business being massively put out by this. Slight annoyance by manager and team maybe, but his job on the line? I very much doubt it; unless there are planned cuts/he has performance issues. Could be that he needs to go in a couple of times a month for big meetings, in which case I'd drop him in. Worst case once a week and again I'd suck it up and take him.

Perhaps they're mumsnetters who won't even open the door, let alone allow a family member to stay!

How long has he been employed? Can he take shared parental leave for the 12 weeks and you go back to work?

Why should the OP have to cut short her maternity leave because the bus company are underpaying their staff?

Fucking batshit.

@SecondUsername4me aggressive much! I’m only making suggestions he could take unpaid leave 4 weeks per child. I mean if his company won’t budge and she doesn’t want to drive and he doesn’t drive they have to consider all their options! It’s called shared parental leave for a reason both parents are responsible for looking after their children.

Sorry. I'm mad at the bus company. Many thousands of us are affected by this particular strike.

It's just insanity to me that the OP should have to budge an inch - businesses should be looking for ways to sort this so that their employees can still do their job.

DH and I used to share a car which worked well until I had DD. I didn’t want to have her in the car for so long and at such awkward times that it disrupted her regular naps (although nowhere near as long a commute as yours).

DH’s solution was to get his motorbike L plates. Is that an option for your DH? Quicker, cheaper and easier than a full on driving course and test.

Is there an half way solution like dropping him off at a train station somewhere? Even in the wrong direction.

Surely work would consider a strike a good reason especially if he made the offfice day up another week?

I agree as workers we have very little power and this is so unfair and shortsighted of the companies.

He works 4x days a week in the office and the strike is estimated to last 12 weeks.

That's 48 office days to make up.