AIBU to not drive partner to work while on maternity leave during bus strike?

[AmIclutchingpearls]

My partner can't drive and so can't get to work during the current bus strikes.

He usually works 1 day a week at home and 4 in the office. He works in finance and can do his job entirely remotely. Unfortunately his employer (large company) are insisting he goes in at least 3 days - the reasons given are that his contract doesn't allow full homeworking and apparently one colleague has asked why he should get 'special treatment'.

We live in a rural location so no transport option other than me driving him there then picking him up (total 4 hours driving per day, 12 hours per week). I am on maternity leave so could theoretically do it but I really don't want to if it can be avoided!

Partner's uncle and sister both live close to his work so I have suggested he could ask if he could stay with one of them 2 nights a week (or 1 night each) meaning I would only have to drive him there Tuesday morning and pick him up Thursday after work. He is close to them and they regularly stay over at our house at weekends but he won't even ask them!

AIBU to say he asks his family to put him up 1 or 2 nights a week temporarily or finds his own alternative?

Also, any other advice around dealing with his employer or other options more than welcome!

Thank you all!

He needs to take a cbt test so he can drive a moped/ scooter etc (upto 125cc) it only takes a day's training - around here it costs £135 for the training. 2nd hand mopeds/ scooters are reasonably cheap.

Many people couldn’t afford to learn to drive as a teenager and some still can’t even in young adulthood.

What a nasty and unhelpful reply, there’s no way it’s fair to have a baby in a car seat for so long anyway.

The bus strike is causing chaos. But if I was him, I wouldn’t enjoy not going home.
Especially as bus strike is to Christmas and possibly into January.
There is no end in sight.

Can you drive him to the nearest train station?

If it takes 2 hours in the car then how long does it take on the bus? Surely it must be several bus changes, and he would have to leave before 5am to get to work on time?

His company should make reasonable adjustment. He needs to insist.

Oh sorry OP, just saw the message about the bus.

I voted YABU because as a couple it was ridiculous to move to a rural location with only one driver. This was bound to happen.

The north east hasn’t got that many train stations! Not in the Go north east routes.
Even the metros’s not that great, go north east have a pretty much monopoly where they run. It’s shit.

I would definitely hope that his employer and colleagues will sympathise with his situation and have no issue working from home during this period.

Are there literally no buses for 10 weeks?! At all? How awful. Surely others at work will be in the same situation?

suggest he:
asks for lift shares at work (and pays petrol)
asks for a special consideration because of the bus strike (maybe do 1 day a week in the office)
does a fast pass driving course and gets a license sharpish
stays in a travelodge 2 nights a week near the office
or gets a new job closer to home, 1 hour driving must be at least 1.5 hours on the bus so draining at the best of times

If he is too embarrassed to ask his relatives, tell him you will ask on his behalf. He might be more comfortable with it coming from you for whatever reason. I'd push for this solution. It is only short term and they appear to get on well. Anyone would help in your circumstances especially family, given the fact that you have a newborn and other kids for school runs also.

See what he says to that.

A 12 week bus strike was "bound to happen"?

Are you partners, or not. The answer should make it simple.

Obviously not, Sherlock, otherwise she wouldn't have need to start at thread would she?

I'm in the area close to this and my family live there. They drive but my grandad doesn't. It's been really bad! While I massively support workers striking this is getting very bad.

Did you move to a rural area due to the pandemic, thinking he could always work from home?

I was thinking along similar lines - a mo-ped. I don’t think you need a full driving licence

Do people really think it’s a good idea for someone to just buy a moped and start riding it a fairly considerable distance (someone suggested with a day’s worth of training) in November in cold, possibly wet and dark conditions and by the sounds of it no previous driving experience?! Maybe no road sense?

Wouldn’t people be aghast if their teenagers proposed this?

It’s also too late right now to get a driving licence, the wait for test dates is an issue nationwide, as is finding an instructor, in most places they have waiting lists.

There are plenty of areas in the UK not well served by train routes and some unfortunately not served well by bus routes either. OP and her partner chose a location that did have the transport links they needed to live and work there.

A 12 week strike is an unforeseen circumstance, and is not the problem to resolve of a woman on maternity leave to spend time with her baby. An hour each way 4 times per day at best, if the baby just sits happily in the car seat for all that time (mine wouldn’t have done nor would I have put them or me through it so regularly).

So you've totally ignored the fact that a newborn is involved, and that extended periods of time in a car seat causes breathing problems?

Do people really think it’s a good idea for someone to just buy a moped and start riding it a fairly considerable distance (someone suggested with a day’s worth of training) in November in cold, possibly wet and dark conditions and by the sounds of it no previous driving experience?! Maybe no road sense?

People literally do this all the time, and to be honest passing a CBT and getting a 125 motorbike (doesn't have to be a moped) would be a good solution to the problem at hand, you can finance bikes cheaply and would probably be less monthly than public transport equivalent, plus you can use a lot of bus lanes (not all) that OP can't when in the car. It's not quite the crazy solution you make it out to be!

You don't need a license you just book a CBT course (compulsory basic training), which takes a day to complete and off you go.

The only thing I would say is that it's not the best solution at this time of year, like you say dark nights & mornings and wet/potentially icy weather coming, it's not for everyone and muddy rural country lanes are not the ideal place to start for a beginner so I wouldn't blame them for not taking up this option.

Do people really think it’s a good idea for someone to just buy a moped and start riding it a fairly considerable distance (someone suggested with a day’s worth of training) in November in cold, possibly wet and dark conditions and by the sounds of it no previous driving experience?! Maybe no road sense?

That is actually how you learn.

1. book a one day cbt course
2. buy a moped/low powered motorbike
3. use it

And, like many things, the more you practice a skill such as riding a bike, the better you get at it.

Most people don’t have luxury of choosing the best time of year to learn to swim/drive/ride a bike. They just have to get on with it.

You can’t wait for the stars to align, you just have to get on with it.

Personally if I were him I would explain the situation to my boss and offer to do 2 days in office for the following weeks.

You could then give him a lift one way on one day and the other way on the next. Try and combine it with jobs/ fun stuff to make it less of a chore. Then he could stay one night at a cheapo air b and b for the one night needed. If he found somewhere nice he could do a rolling deal with the home owner.

Not ideal but reasonable to everyone, him, you kids and employer.

Can you employ a driver? A friend of mine got a driving ban and managed to employ a driver for the duration.

Drive him to the nearest train station.