To not cancel our wedding because DS has COVID

[CheeseCrackers45]

Hi all. 1 year old son has had a bit of a cough for about a week. He's a bit tired but otherwise well. No fever, happily playing etc. Went to the GP today just in case it was another chest infection (he's already had several). Turns out he has COVID.

Here's the kicker... Me and DSs dad are due to get married on Thursday and DS is obviously attending 😅 We've taken tests and so far they are negative. My colleague is saying I'm being selfish by not cancelling the wedding. Me and my partner have decided to go ahead with it, but of course will be telling all guests that DS has COVID and letting them make their own decision about attending.

YANBU - no you shouldn't cancel
YABU - You should cancel

I caught this ‘cold’ in July.

Been housebound and mainly bedbound ever since. Too weak to do anything.

No underlying health conditions. This was the second time l had it. There was no problem the first time.

I’ll lie in my bed and contemplate my ‘cold’ when l can’t even wash my hair and can stagger to the loo twice a day.

This ain’t no fucking cold. It’s a fucking insult to call it a cold. My world has never crashed down with a cold.

@Everanewbie

i definitely would proceed with wedding
but I would explain the Covid diagnosis and the timeline ie now highly likely not contagious

but you wouldn’t tell anyone?

Bloody hell.

have you been signed off work?

Yeah, I can’t get out of bed. I’m too weak. I can’t even hold a conversation,

But it’s just a ‘cold’

If there is genuinely a CEV person there, then I maybe I'd have a quiet word to explain that "DS has just gotten over a virus but by now he should be clear, but thought I'd let you know".

I don't think she should make a big deal of it because post vaccine and infection it is just one of the many viruses out there, it just has a name that is emotive. I'd be much more concerned with a CEV person catching flu for instance. Plus DS is likely to be out of the infectious period anyway.

A friends son had chicken pox at their wedding when he was 2, he stayed in the hotel room with a childminder, came down for the photos and that was it. Is that an option?

Still a cold for 99.9% of people. I'm truly sorry that you've had a bad time, but the world keeps turning and the world doesn't stop because of extremely rare occurrences. I wish you well and hope things improve, but you are a statistical anomaly, not the general rule.

@Everanewbie

so you’d tell a “genuine CEV” person

but anyone you think isn’t genuine but says they are CEV… you wouldn’t

and you would assume that you know whether every single one of your guests is CEV or not?

I'd have a good idea, yes. If I was inviting them to my wedding I'd like to think I know whether they happened to be in their 90s, undergoing chemo or suffering from late stage AIDS.

So you’d say “virus”

why not just say “Covid”

and leave it to the attendee to make their own decision
mot seems so patronising and disrespectful to say “virus” when you know what it is

@Everanewbie but that isn't the only options
I have none of those, am 41 and work FT but am severely immunocompromised

What happens if large wedding?

What happens if the OP allowed “plus 1s”

What happens if a guest has recently received a diagnosis but you aren’t privy to ot

what happens if a guest is going to visit an aged relative shortly afterwards

there are so many scenarios

crack on with the wedding… hell yes

but why be oblique with the truth and say “virus” ?

@Differencesclear Because people get all hysterical when the C word is mentioned, and this hysteria still has the potential to derail OPs wedding day.

Honestly, I’d feel really put on the spot if I was a guest and you told me that. As a normal healthy person I wouldn’t feel justified in pulling out, but I’d be really pissed off if I caught it. I suppose at least with a warning people can mainline First Defence throughout, if they’re bothered.

Do you think we should inform you at every event that someone was recently diagnosed with flu? RSV? In your position I'd take a bout of Omicron post vaccine over flu.

So…. Allow them to “get hysterical”

rather than take the decision on their behalf that they will get hysterical so you will keep it from them

I would leave my 1 year old with a sitter.

Guaranteed less stressful
guaranteed he will be happier
guaranteed that no “hysteria”

There is absolutely NO evidence that it is ‘just a cold’. Some people get no symptoms, some mild and some severe.

A friend of mine has it now and has been in bed for days, really poorly. Third time of having it, all vaccines up to date, no health problems, fit and healthy 40 something. My dad died of it in hospital this year.

Please don’t talk with certainty about something you don’t actually know.

There are no restrictions, there is more immunity that when it first emerged but it can still be a very serious illness for some and could cause death in some.

Honestly, my viewpoint is that COVID is no more a threat to people than flu, and most, even CEV people experience COVID as a cold. If you could fly back 4 years ago, block out all those lockdowns, daily death figures, crisis actors in those ghastly government posters, you wouldn't dream of calling off a wedding or informing people that a 1 YO had the flu a week ago, with the implication that they may need to consider not going.

My suggestion about mentioning it to 1 or 2 CEV guests was a suggestion to put OPs mind at rest, not about any real obligation or benefit.

Please cite this evidence that says it’s ‘just a cold’ for 99% of people. My guess is you won’t be able to because there is no evidence to support that.

How is he in himself. Can you organise a childminder for the day and just have him along for photos. It will limit everyone else’s exposure, particularly for any elderly guests. But more importantly a wedding is a long day, particularly for a little one feeling under the weather.

I can’t imagine it will be much fun for you having a grizzly tot to take care of

What evidence is your viewpoint based on?

@BottleShipDown worldwide governments are downgrading it below flu, more emphasis is on flu vaccines this year than COVID. The certainty I can talk with is based on government hospital stats, and deaths plus the fact that I've had it 3 times, my husband has had it 3 times, my elderly parents twice, my in laws twice, and my great grandmother in law, aged 93 once. Zero deaths, zero admissions, 3 early nights, 2 packets of lemsip and 1 afternoon off work.

You either mention it to all or you don’t but seems bizarre to cherry pick a couple that you do know are CEV to tell them and assume you know the health of all your guests.

very bizarre

Undoubtedly the majority are absolutely fine and get it very mildly so…. Give you guests the benefit for the doubt and not assume they will “get hysterical”

and if they do “get hysterical” it is entirely their prerogative to do so

cite evidence it is?! Post summer 2021, let alone post Jan 2022.