To be put off by date eating pub leftovers

[Runki]

I have never posted on here before so please be gentle! 😉 I just wanted some honest opinions from people. I've been seeing a man for a number of months. We went out yesterday to a pub for something to eat, at lunchtime. When we got there, the table next to us hadn't been cleared yet and there was quite a bit of food left on plates. I asked him what he wanted to eat for lunch, and he said he would just eat some leftover toast and sausages from the uncleared table. I thought he was joking and laughed. But he actually meant it. He took two pieces of left over, cold toast and some sausages and proceeded to eat them, with no plate. I said I would buy him lunch and he didn't need to eat leftovers! He said he couldn't stand wasted food. I ordered my own lunch and ate it, alone, as he had already gobbled up the leftovers from the people who had left. Would this put you off someone? Or should I more be accommodating?! In all honesty, it made me feel very uncomfortable and I found it very unattractive. How would this make you feel, can I ask? Look forward to hearing what people think. For context, he has never done this before, but has alluded to wanting to do it when we've been to other places. I asked him yesterday if he was worried that someone's saliva might be on the leftover food, but he said he couldn't care less.

I had this when I stopped for pub lunch once. I had only gone to the bar a few feet away to get another drink and when I turned back a woman was eating my half eaten toastie.

I just blurted out WTF and pub did give me another toastie

She was very drunk and mumbled something about she thought I had left.

You don’t now what people have wrong with them and if it is contagious

Dump and run.

Even if he had taken the half eaten plate which was bad enough but to not wait to eat when you were eating is totally rude.

I read the title and thought you were upset he had asked for a take away box. That is one of the most bizarre things I’ve ever heard. I, like you, would have been so dumb founded I would have stayed.

But obviously, he is not a keeper 😂

🤮 I can’t stand waste either but to eat random people’s food??!! That’s a step too far. Don’t get with him, he’s a tight wad and that’s not attractive.

The potential for germs doesn't really bother me; I wouldn't actually expect him to get ill or die from doing it.

But it's so, so socially off and romantically horrible. I'm struggling to articulate why, but I suppose I think that a man who'd rather pinch leftovers from a stranger's plate than order his own meal to eat with me is tight, joyless, unromantic and just no fun to be with. I'm surprised at just how much it turns me off, but it really really does.

I’m not usually bothered about weird stuff but this is awful. I don’t know how you managed to sit there.

It would be a deal breaker for me I’m afraid.

He’s an absolute animal

Ugh That is disgusting Even worse is that he thought it was fine to do it in front of his lunch date
I wouldn't be seeing him again

Next date: bin diving.

ewww thats utterly rank.

I thought you where going to say YOUR left overs... fine whatever but leftover from strangers on an uncleared table.

We often scrape up and leave food that has fallen on the floor or our kids have 'tasted' and spat out as the 'left overs' on our plates.

Just....NO

Ewwwwwww. Someone could have coughed or sneezed on it. It could have been dropped on the floor and picked back up again. It could have been spat out of someone’s mouth 🤮 total ick that I could never get over. His lips would never go near mine ever again.

I'd have walked out in embarrassment

Ick.

However people rooting through bins in supermarkets etc are eco warriors and doing the right thing by the planet. Plenty of food is touched by others including by chefs and waiting staff before it gets to your mouth.
So weirdly I sort of get his point that food is in fact just food.

Yes. I kind of admire the brass balls of it, in a way. I'm also finding all the horror on this thread quite amusing. I'm betting most people don't see, or think about, what goes on with their food in restaurant kitchens. Or what happens when you eat from a Chinese buffet.

I get that it's inappropriate behaviour on a date. I wouldn't want to be left eating my food on my own because my date had nicked leftovers. But the waste not, want not attitude is quite intriguing. Our stomachs are pretty robust, so it's more the thought of what he did rather than it being likely that the sausages were any more disgusting than any other food any of us have ever eaten. So yes, I'd be dubious about his boundaries, but I wouldn't flat out condemn what he did.

I can well believe this.
I used to know someone who would order a fried egg in a cafe. He would bite through the yolk allowing it to flow through his beard. This would put some other customers off their food.
Leaving him free to eat it.

I used to see waiting staff at a restaurant I worked at practically fighting over stuff that was brought back to the kitchen. Half a steak, fries, etc. All of that seemed pretty normal - as long as it wasn't food that had actually been chewed on - sandwich with a bite missing, half a chicken leg etc.

Then again it was the kitchen policy that little bowls butter that went to the dining room that looked untouched would be put on another table, butter that had obviously been dipped into was used in cooking. All of that seemed pretty normal - as long as it wasn't food that had actually been chewed on - sandwich with a bite missing, half a chicken leg etc.

But to eat some random stranger's leftovers when you don't know if they have coughed all over them or whatever is gross. I'd not be on a second date.

What a catch..next time he might treat you for a half of some strangers leftovers,.

I am so glad to be happily married, the amount of threads here with men moving in with women etc- looking for a new mum and a housekeeper and avoiding having any responsibilities..scary, its like many men are becoming weak spineless individuals with no self respect.

I can totally imagine my dear old dad doing this - he was a bit of an eccentric, had no time for social norms and was a hospital scientist who spent a lot of time working on diseases and bacteria - I could imagine him eating it while giving us a lecture about how from a disease control perspective it was more “disgusting” to sit next to someone on the bus than to eat a leftover sausage.

Loving the sound of your dad!
I feel like all the disgust on this thread is about social expectations, but people are presenting it (perhaps feeling it) as being about hygiene risk.
I get why the OP was put off (after all, we like people who conform to social norms!) but I also think that people ignoring those norms are not necessarily being particularly unhygienic, and to say it is 'disgusting' is just to say something about how deeply held those norms are!

See, here it's quite hard to see the difference!
Obviously it depends on what leftovers the date in the OP snacked on (a half-eaten sandwich or an apparently untouched sausage?). But if restaurants are putting their dishes of butter back out, then really why not their sausages? (Of course, the sausages might get cold and so be unappetizing, but you get the idea!).

Noooooooooooo

Also NO!!!!!

You've got a point! That's what I would think if I went out with someone who did that 😬

@SurprisedWithAHorse

lol how could eating off some randomer’s plate not bother you in terms of germs?! It’s literally consuming some strangers saliva 🤮

@SmudgeButt

ewww so if you double dip your bread into the butter it will be used to cook someone else meal and they have to have remnants of your spit?!