To be put off by date eating pub leftovers

[Runki]

I have never posted on here before so please be gentle! 😉 I just wanted some honest opinions from people. I've been seeing a man for a number of months. We went out yesterday to a pub for something to eat, at lunchtime. When we got there, the table next to us hadn't been cleared yet and there was quite a bit of food left on plates. I asked him what he wanted to eat for lunch, and he said he would just eat some leftover toast and sausages from the uncleared table. I thought he was joking and laughed. But he actually meant it. He took two pieces of left over, cold toast and some sausages and proceeded to eat them, with no plate. I said I would buy him lunch and he didn't need to eat leftovers! He said he couldn't stand wasted food. I ordered my own lunch and ate it, alone, as he had already gobbled up the leftovers from the people who had left. Would this put you off someone? Or should I more be accommodating?! In all honesty, it made me feel very uncomfortable and I found it very unattractive. How would this make you feel, can I ask? Look forward to hearing what people think. For context, he has never done this before, but has alluded to wanting to do it when we've been to other places. I asked him yesterday if he was worried that someone's saliva might be on the leftover food, but he said he couldn't care less.

I don’t even know why you have to ask. That’s just so off putting

Urgh. No more dates after that. Totally unreasonable behaviour!!

That is

The only question I have is who has voted YABU!! We all hate food waste, but this is 100% not ok

I would find that so unattractive too! It's vile. Get rid!

Big ick from me. I know a few men who have been to boarding school and they don’t do this.

I’m quite surprised at the other men OP has met who are equally stingy. Stinginess is one trait I do not tolerate.

Maybe okay if he’s on a lads nights out and quite drunk.To do that on a date though…..

So gross, embarrassing and unattractive - does he not care at all how he’s coming across? He sounds like a complete slob. I’d much prefer a bit of old fashioned charm

Yes, but I think what @10HailMarys is saying is that the difference here is between a small chance of germs, and a dead cert.

Eating food that someone's left on a plate in a restaurant is pretty much the same as seeing half a doner kebab on the seat of a night bus and thinking 'Oh, it's still in the polystyrene tray and it's not completely cold, I'll have that for my tea'.

I'm speaking here as someone who is actually not particularly hygienic by Mumsnet standards. I definitely do plenty of things that Mumsnet considers 'grim'. I'm not one of these people who has conniptions at the idea of not showering every day, for a start. I draw the line at eating abandoned food off pub tables though.

That would give me the serious ick. Grim

Thats fucking rank. Not to mention right arse squeaky mean.
Nah, get rid. And don’t look back.

Yuck.

I think there's a certain kind of person who wants to get by on a shoestring - the type who do bin diving, only buy stuff they get reduced for quick sale etc. I knew someone who made an art of it and could get by on a ridiculously low amount of money, he prided himself on relying on his wits and lived off benefits and matched betting.

However this is probably not the kind of man you want anywhere near your private parts!

Who has voted YABU?? And why?!

Yanbu it's gross,.embarrassing for you both and also you had to eat alone while he just sat there. I'm normally quite accepting of other people's behaviours but I just can't get my head around this and I absolutely wouldn't be seeing him again if he's like this at the beginning when he's still trying to impress you imagine how he would be in a years time

OMG I hate waste but that’s just 🤮 Beyond gross. If he’ll do that what else will he reuse?

Glad you’re not going to see him again OP. Otherwise the mental image of him scoffing foraged sausages might escape unbidden into your mind the next time you were getting down to it. The thought would make anyone’s fanny dryer than the Sahara

@amyds2104 No, I didn't. As a previous poster hilariously mentioned, I clammed up like a startled oyster! 😂 I went home, pronto. Thank you for your comment. :-)

@Stoptheworld1000 Thank you so much. He does work and as far as I can tell, doesn't seem to be neuro diverse, unless I am missing something. What upset me the most was that he still went ahead and did it even though I expressed my distaste of it! Made me feel horrible about myself. Thank you again. X

Wow, some harsh opinions on this one. I voted YABU as my first thought would have been he's grown up poor and this is learned behaviour built in from necessity. (I see you say he grew up with well off parents, so perhaps this isn't the case, but if it bothers you this much, surely it's worth a discussion?) If he's an otherwise nice, normal guy, I wouldn't dump him over something so small. Why didn't you have a proper discussion about it? Say you'd feel left out eating without him and get to the bottom of why he felt the need to do that?

@TooOldForThisNonsense ha ha ha thank you for making me laugh so much; that is utterly brilliant!!!! 👏

Christ that's mad! I wouldn't even do it anyway but if I was out for a meal with a woman and did that, I would fully expect to be ditched. I'm surprised you didn't walk out, I would have.

£10 says he'll complain to others it wasn't anything he did. Some guys just live in a different universe I swear and wonder why they get nowhere.

Also think right what that would be like down the line at other meals. Be eating left over soup out of someone else's bowl off his lap or something, hurgh!

Whilst I believe in using leftovers that have been prepared in my home I’m in complete agreement with OP on this. Apart from the hygiene issue the food must have been pretty cold by the time he ate it. Dealbreaker for me.

Can you imagine all the germs he just consumed

could get glandular fever or anything

Have you told him there won't be another date?!

I was going to say this - the kind interpretation is maybe he is very passionate about the environment and food waste, or has some real trauma and grew up with no access to food or something.

Even then….it’s really really really gross and YANBU to still be heaving a bit.