To be put off by date eating pub leftovers

[Runki]

I have never posted on here before so please be gentle! 😉 I just wanted some honest opinions from people. I've been seeing a man for a number of months. We went out yesterday to a pub for something to eat, at lunchtime. When we got there, the table next to us hadn't been cleared yet and there was quite a bit of food left on plates. I asked him what he wanted to eat for lunch, and he said he would just eat some leftover toast and sausages from the uncleared table. I thought he was joking and laughed. But he actually meant it. He took two pieces of left over, cold toast and some sausages and proceeded to eat them, with no plate. I said I would buy him lunch and he didn't need to eat leftovers! He said he couldn't stand wasted food. I ordered my own lunch and ate it, alone, as he had already gobbled up the leftovers from the people who had left. Would this put you off someone? Or should I more be accommodating?! In all honesty, it made me feel very uncomfortable and I found it very unattractive. How would this make you feel, can I ask? Look forward to hearing what people think. For context, he has never done this before, but has alluded to wanting to do it when we've been to other places. I asked him yesterday if he was worried that someone's saliva might be on the leftover food, but he said he couldn't care less.

My Dad would absolutely do this, he is 82 and has zero fucking boundaries any more. He has also been threatened with a pub ban if he nicks off peoples plates when they're still eating one more time!

I have some pretty relaxed standards myself (I mean look who brought me up)... 5 second rule on dropped food (in my own home), I would give the dog a lick of my icecream and then keep eating the rest, I have absolutely swiped a stolen bit of pizza out of the dogs mouth, torn off the icky bits and eaten the rest...

I once popped into a friends house and ate their left overs - but they were home and said 'oh we've just finished, we made too much'... (and this was back in teh days when we often genuinely didn't have enough food and we all fed each other!).

But yeah taking the left overs of stranger's, you don't know if they licked it, dropped it, the kid wiped a shitty finger on it... ew. No, and as PP have said... ruins the date really.

Can't believe what I have just read. Run for the hills. This man is not wired up right.

Nope, just nope. I would have been horrified.
Like what if they have a cold or some other germs. What could you catch?
And when he asked you out for lunch were you expecting to split the payment or expected him to pay.
I don't think I could carry on with that relationship.

I worked in a restaurant once. A high end, expensive one in a very naice town.

The olives that came back went back in the jar, and other food was kept and put on other peoples plates. Food that dropped on the floor was still used.

The cutlery and crockery weren't particularly clean either. Quickly washed under cold water.

@PrincessFiorimonde Wow, it's amazing what people will do to save themselves a few quid, isn't it?! Or will see so many opportunities to get something for nothing, or will take advantage of someone esle having paid for something in the first place and feeling smug because they've got something out of it. And yes, aside from the disgusting factor, I think it was the thoughtlessness that got to me the most. I felt awful. Thank you for your kind words!

@1983Louise I was so embarrassed that I kept looking around to see if anyone else had noticed, but thankfully they didn't seem to. Too busy talking and eating, thank God!

@debbrianna I can assure you that I am a living, breathing, woman! With most of my faculties still intact, ha ha. I even tick the box that says "I'm not a robot" 😉

I would not choose to do it but I would admire his ability to. I also don’t like buffets or shared plates when people use their fingers. I know and I recognise this is my issue. With the way the worlds going I think people like him will be the survivors. I’m not sure how I would react if I liked and fancied him and he was a decent man I think it would amuse me.

This brings back memories of a horrible bullying manager I had years ago who on two occasions took uneaten lunch food out of the bin and ate it. Quite openly.

I am agog and aghast that someone would do this on a first date.

I have to admit I have wanted to do this. Recently DP and I were in a restaurant that did an incredible dumpling dish. The woman at the table next to us left one of her dumplings. We both looked at it longingly and agreed that 1) she was out of order to leave something so delicious on her plate, 2) it was a shame that eating it ourselves would be socially unacceptable.

Socially unacceptable is exactly what it is though.

Well considering that a pig died to make those sausages and intensive food production and excessive food waste is wrecking the planet, I think we should all be a little less precious. It wouldn't bother me at all if my date did that.

Seriously? So you think we should all be going round eating left over food off randoms plates?

Where does that end? Rummaging down peoples bins?

(But I am in the ‘I call bullshit’ camp about this thread)
While or I am not saying that I know for sure that this is not a fake post, I and other posters have our own stories of real life people we know doing similar. Just one peek at a CFer thread will tell you just how stingey, obnoxious, oblivious or tight-fisted some people are.

When I read the title of this thread, I thought he would've eaten your leftovers...not the leftovers of previous diners!

Major ick!

Many years ago I worked in a fish and chip restaurant in a coastal area. They used to serve baked beans or peas in a side dish. Any left by customers would just be thrown back into the big pot on the stove. So it ended up a pure mix of god knows how many peoples leftovers! I imagine this sort of stuff goes on more than you think. This is why I like eating at places with an open kitchen area.

I would also be put off by what your date did. Now he’s done it once in front of you I’m sure he wouldn’t hesitate to do it again. That would be the end for me. Like some other pp’s, it isn’t even about the “grossness” to me. It’s just really embarrassing. Makes it look like he’s too tight to buy his own food.

@TheKnittedCharacter I wish I too was in the "I call bullshit" camp about this. It happened.

This is like the 'submarining' we used to do when I was a teenager.

@SisterhoodNotCisterhood Thank you. That was the main reason I posted about this (alongside being so utterly incredulous) to see if anything similar had happened to others and if so, how they felt about it! I too have experienced cheeky f##kers who are beyond stingy in my life before. One in particular who climbed over a castle wall to get in and avoid paying the entrance fee, and who also couldn't get served on New Year's Eve and leant over the bar and poured himself out a beer without paying for it. So I know this stuff happens and thank you for backing me up! I don't know what I'd have to gain by inventing stuff on Mumsnet! 😀

I'm known to be tolerant of, what some people, would consider gross (like dropping food and using the 5 second rule!) However, I'm grossed out by this; this person wouldn't be in my life long.

I would try to understand if, as a child, he'd had to scavenge but I wouldn't be getting intimate in any way

You see, I was also brought up to be polite and I can imagine just sitting the other side of the table, frozen in disbelief.
I bet his fridge is full of leftovers, like one pea in a dish

Eww no! Just no! Put him in the past and move forward pronto! I wouldn’t even give him a dignified ending either, I’d just block and ghost 🤣 can’t say I’ve ever looked at someone else’s leftovers and thought mmmm I could just eat that 🤮

I do hate food waste but damn, no! That’s grim. Really grim. Disgusting.

Just gross
could have been sneezed on , dropped on the floor, licked by someone with Herpes
just vile