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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be put off by date eating pub leftovers

574 replies

Runki · 06/11/2023 21:31

I have never posted on here before so please be gentle! 😉 I just wanted some honest opinions from people. I've been seeing a man for a number of months. We went out yesterday to a pub for something to eat, at lunchtime. When we got there, the table next to us hadn't been cleared yet and there was quite a bit of food left on plates. I asked him what he wanted to eat for lunch, and he said he would just eat some leftover toast and sausages from the uncleared table. I thought he was joking and laughed. But he actually meant it. He took two pieces of left over, cold toast and some sausages and proceeded to eat them, with no plate. I said I would buy him lunch and he didn't need to eat leftovers! He said he couldn't stand wasted food. I ordered my own lunch and ate it, alone, as he had already gobbled up the leftovers from the people who had left. Would this put you off someone? Or should I more be accommodating?! In all honesty, it made me feel very uncomfortable and I found it very unattractive. How would this make you feel, can I ask? Look forward to hearing what people think. For context, he has never done this before, but has alluded to wanting to do it when we've been to other places. I asked him yesterday if he was worried that someone's saliva might be on the leftover food, but he said he couldn't care less.

OP posts:
DaughterAndDogMum · 07/11/2023 11:50

Red flag! What if the person had sneezed on the plate or had dropped said sausage on floor then returned to plate! Feels slightly odd behaviour

amyds2104 · 07/11/2023 11:51

I really hope you didn’t sleep with him after this romantic lunch. How gross for you to witness…. Cringing thinking about it

scoobysnaxx · 07/11/2023 11:52

I can't stop laughing 😂
This cannot be real? He cannot be serious?

How utterly disgusting! What a pig! 🤢

FourNonBlondez · 07/11/2023 11:54

This is absolutely REVOLTING. I cannot begin to fathom why he thought this was ok. Fair enough, cost of living crisis, but just don't eat or say you'll eat at home.

I can't even get over the fact he did this on a date! I would have walked out there and then.

Montegufoni2017 · 07/11/2023 11:55

That is insane bizarre behaviour. What the hell.

00100001 · 07/11/2023 11:56

fishfingersandtoes · 06/11/2023 21:57

I think I just have a higher tolerance for that sort of thing than the average person. I assume the food was probably untouched with no bites taken out of it, so it's just been on a plate and someone hasn't liked the look of it.
If there were bites out of it or someone had licked it that would be a different story

Show quote history

Even if it is intact and seemingly untouched - it might have been licked by the diner/dropped on the floor/manhandled or mouthed by kids/licked by a dog/sneezed on/dribble on etc

Pherian · 07/11/2023 11:57

I have two step children 11 and 13. I wont eat off their plates because I watch them pick their nose and eat it, catch snot in their hands and then rinse their hands off and wipe their nose all day with their hands. I of course tell them to wash their hands, I'm like a broken record...

That guy would give me the ick and I wouldn't be able to even kiss him.

Stoptheworld1000 · 07/11/2023 11:57

Oh wow! This is really cringy! Is he poor? Does he work? Neuro diverse? I too would of been too stunned to leave. I'm also really annoyed for you that he then let you sit and eat by yourself. I don't think I could continue this relationship. Sending hugs xx

nonmerci99 · 07/11/2023 11:58

BrightYellowDaffodil · 06/11/2023 21:34

That would give me the ick so much I’d feel myself slam shut like a startled oyster.

😂😂😂 No more replies needed, this is it.

YYURYYUCICYYUR4ME · 07/11/2023 11:59

Did he squeak when he walked?

Middleagedmeangirls · 07/11/2023 12:00

I wouldn't do it myself but not for hygiene reasons though. Loads of people swap saliva and other bodily fluids with relative strangers quite regularly. But the stinginess of it would put me off.

Many years ago I worked in a very swanky London bar - quite often customers with more money than sense would vacate their table leaving most of a bottle of champagne behind. Whilst I would draw the line at hoovering up people's unfinished mixed drinks me and the rest of the staff were always very happy to swoop on any unfinished bottles and enjoy them behind the scenes.

Guesswho88 · 07/11/2023 12:01

I kind of admire it. As embarrassing as it would probably be. I love people who think outside the box and aren't afraid to stand up for what they believe in. He's definitely unique bless him!

Sartre · 07/11/2023 12:02

Eurgh, that gave me the ick and I’m not even dating him. LTB.

Melodysmum12 · 07/11/2023 12:02

Ewww rank and really unattractive! I couldn’t get past that!

EmmaGrundyForPM · 07/11/2023 12:03

My standards are quite low and that is gross!

horseyhorsey17 · 07/11/2023 12:04

MINGING.

mindutopia · 07/11/2023 12:04

Yes, that's grim. My mum's partner does this (he's messed up for other reasons and we are now NC, but anyway). Not when out to eat, but at family dinners at home. When he is finished his plate (there is always plenty of food still for seconds he could serve himself), he'll go around the table and ask everyone if they are going to eat (insert food item) on their plates. If people say no, then he'll take it and eat it. It's like the dog working its way around the table to clean all the plates. It's really unsavoury. He's a weirdo though. It's not the most inappropriate thing he has done. I'm honestly not sure I could carry on with this relationship. If it was a one-off weird situation, that's one thing, but if he's alluded to doing it in the past, that's a sign its a longstanding behavioural pattern...and it wouldn't be a pattern I'd find especially sexy. 🙁

DevonMum123 · 07/11/2023 12:06

OMG that's unreal, are you sure you are not being filmed for Ant and Dec's Saturday night takeaway show 😂
As that is kind of crazy thing they would as people to do 😂

OnlyHasEyesForLoki · 07/11/2023 12:07

No no no no no. Goodbye!!!!

User0000009 · 07/11/2023 12:08

100 per cent tramp

Manthide · 07/11/2023 12:08

I hate food waste and I have been tempted but I don't think I'd ever do it. One time I was at a Chinese with my ds and we were having the standard banquet. At another table there was a young Chinese couple and they were ordering off the menu. They ordered lots and then left leaving most of it untouched. I was shocked!

Bobsyouraunty · 07/11/2023 12:09

VOMMMMMMM

katseyes7 · 07/11/2023 12:09

Oh, dear god. No, a million times, NOOOO!

Mamabear48 · 07/11/2023 12:12

Gross. Totally gross.

Manthide · 07/11/2023 12:13

mindutopia · 07/11/2023 12:04

Yes, that's grim. My mum's partner does this (he's messed up for other reasons and we are now NC, but anyway). Not when out to eat, but at family dinners at home. When he is finished his plate (there is always plenty of food still for seconds he could serve himself), he'll go around the table and ask everyone if they are going to eat (insert food item) on their plates. If people say no, then he'll take it and eat it. It's like the dog working its way around the table to clean all the plates. It's really unsavoury. He's a weirdo though. It's not the most inappropriate thing he has done. I'm honestly not sure I could carry on with this relationship. If it was a one-off weird situation, that's one thing, but if he's alluded to doing it in the past, that's a sign its a longstanding behavioural pattern...and it wouldn't be a pattern I'd find especially sexy. 🙁

Edited

Is he English? My dh is Greek and at the end of a meal he puts everyone's left overs on his plate and eats it - even though he's already has a huge serving. I hate it. Also if for example dd has a fatty piece of meat he swaps it with his.