To not understand Christmas burnout?

[EmptyYoghurtPot]

Lots of discussion online re:the M & S Christmas advert. Many referencing ‘Christmas burnout’ and how hard it is for women etc As a self confessed crazy Christmas lady I can not get my head round why it’s so stressful? I can understand if people are struggling finance wise but the discussion I saw was on The Guardian page so the concerns were all about buying and wrapping presents, decorating the house and cooking the dinner. I just don’t see why any of that is so stressful. Surely Christmas dinner is just a scaled up version of Sunday lunch? And shopping is fun - can do it online if you don’t like going out. Wrapping presents can be a bit boring but stick a film on, grab a wine and it doesn’t take that long. Am I just blinded by the twinkly lights or does everyone else just long for Boxing Day?

I’m with you - I love it, but I do like it best if I’m organised.

Good for you.

Even if you aren't worrying about the cost many people are.
And many others struggle with the relentless consumerism and expectation to match up to an imagined standard.

What an absolutely ridiculous response.
I suggest you unclench and clear your vocabulary of 'handmaiden'. Its an awful misogynistic word.

For me it's the rampant celebration of consumerism that I find exhausting.

Christmas is a colossal pain in the arse. I hate the run up to it, I hate the changes around the house and the mess etc. I am always relieved by New Year when I will have taken the decs down and things look clear and free again.

I do quite enjoy the actual day itself with my family though and we go out for Christmas dinner at a local hotel 10 minutes walk away, which is good.

So it has its moments, but I am not its biggest fan and I am not into the consumerism for the sake of it.

Years ago I might have felt very differently, but as I get older the magic has definitely worn off.

I think there's an enormous amount of pressure (primarily aimed at women) that if they are not achieving a FB perfect Christmas on all fronts they are letting their children and families down somehow. Like if you're not MAKING MEMORIES and KEEPING THE MAGIC ALIVE you might as well send your kids to the workhouse as you obviously hate them!

It creates this pressure for everything to be perfect, which isn't that conducive to an enjoyable experience!

And actually I’m neither.

I don't get it either. But I'm an inherently organised person who really enjoys that feeling of being busy and always go go go.

As the kids have gotten older, I haven't needed to start sorting christmas out as early as in previous years as it's a lot more simplified.

But I enjoy the hustle and bustle. I've done it when absolutely skint and I've done it when not so skint. It's all the same to me.

I'm like you and an absolute Christmas fiend so it doesn't wear me out, I even love wrapping. I have a comically large family so it's generally utter chaos and calamity but I enjoy that too. In fairness my husband does an awful lot too so it's not all left to me, which might be the issue for a lot of women getting burnt out over Xmas.

But I get that different things knacker different people. Some people are energised by work, I find it boring no matter what I'm doing. Some folk light up at the idea of having a packed schedule, some would rather eyeball battery acid than spend every minute occupied with some activity. Some people have mulled wine in their veins from October onwards and never tire of sparkles and gift wrap and mince pies, some people can't wait for it all to be over.

It takes all sorts and all that.

I suggest you stop telling women what they can and can’t post.

And by the the number of thanks I’ve received for my handmaiden comment already, I see plenty agree with me.

I think some people feel a lot of pressure to deliver a special Christmas, and that can be hard work. I love Christmas and try to do it on my terms, but it's still a lot of work, even when you pick and choose the bits you want to do. I work full time, have 2 kids, and aging family members, large extended family, limited budget, and so on. I'm already doing a lot without adding the pressure to deliver a spectacular Christmas as well. And as the kids get older I feel the pressure more to make it magical for them, and it can be hard to resist that sometimes.

The other thing is my family are fairly easy going, we get together on Christmas day, but it's fairly relaxed. I'd imagine if you have any tricky family dynamics that can increase the pressure even more.

I don't think someone saying that Christmas is a lot of work is being unreasonable. I do think anyone feeling that way would be within their rights to scale down what they do at Christmas, and I suppose that's the point of the advert. But I get why it can be hard to feel like you can do that.

Despite my username I don't experience this. But honestly I do mean this kindly, it's not that hard to think about why people may experience this. Do you normally struggle with imagining others circumstances?

Shopping is not fun. It’s a chore to be done on top of a full time job and all the other domestic tasks we have.

Well, it depends on how many people you are hosting doesn’t it? I love Christmas, and DH does more than his share including the majority of the cooking, but I can see that if you are hosting 16 people, as we do every three years, even a “scaled up Sunday dinner” involves a lot of thinking about and planning - what goes in the oven when, do you have enough of everything, where will everyone sit, better borrow a table, and a microwave, is the turkey big enough? Should we get a gammon as well? What will the veggies have? Have we got enough drinks in? Have we got crackers? Is the gravy veggie? Shall we do a cauliflower cheese maybe? Not to mention all the potato peeling, veg chopping, washing up, does everyone have a drink? Would anyone like a cup of tea? Mince pie anyone?

I find presents massively stressful. I am shit at buying them.

I don't enjoy decorating and hardly ever cook so cooking for a lot of people would stress me out.

Fortunately DH does 90% of everything Christmas related so I don't really know how stressful it is. If he wasn't around I'd be probably be feeling sick already at the thought of doing Christmas and all it entails.

Yanbu, I don't get it either.
I don't find it stressful at all and love spending time searching for gifts, wrapping presents, decorating etc.
Obviously if you are struggling financially this could be stressful, but it you're not I don't see the issue.

But those are the fun parts! There’s just so much else, such as managing your children’s gift lists so that when people ask what to get them you can give them 2-3 ideas of just the right budget, saving some ideas back for the granny who refuses to think about Christmas until 15 December, and making sure they don’t get duplicates etc. Its managing the politics of who you visit and for how long etc. Its all the school events, costumes needed, rehearsals, cards for classmates. I sing in a choir and go to church so there are multiple concerts, Carol services, rehearsals, publicity to be made, etc. It’s always a busy time at work as Christmas becomes an obvious cut off point for projects to be finished before the holiday. There are team lunches, department parties etc. Panto. End of term cubs party. Diary clashes. And of course, everyone gets ill at some point in December.

Deep breath!

Huge expectations.

Trying to please everyone.

Knackered after doing Christmas at school - and always ill at the end of term.

Trying to get back that childlike Christmas feeling - and mainly failing.

Too much to do.

Consumerism.

Too much waste.

Being a perfectionist.

Christmas in this country starting FAR too early. How can Christmas songs in October feel festive? By the time Christmas comes it feels just like any time of the year.

Not ever my favourite thing - except for the two of us spending a week in Budapest last Christmas, staying in a beautiful hotel, Christmas markets, carols at the basilica, steam baths and seeing the ballet, The Nutcracker . Now that was perfection!

I find exhausting to achieve the expectation- specially for my kids, I want to make it magical for them, get them presents they want, have a lovely decoration, prepare the Xmas dinner, I'm also baking usually with kids too, meanwhile the Xmas presents hunting, going to work, school constantly requesting some sort of Christmas event assistance.

I work in retail so the Xmas is very stressful time there, some people getting literally mad, leaving anything for the last possible minute- lots of pressure and tiredness.

Oh ,you mean the thanks only YOU can see and no-one else can?

Lots of the stress is self inflicted and I really don't have much patience for these tbh.
Some things are pressure from family like simply must do cards to everyone and anyone, max pressie demanda etc, it's hard to say no, but uprise people, uprise! Don't do what you don't want to do.
Christmas are much more enjoyable then.
And with excel sheets prepped in July😂

I've got to the point in my life where I have far more interesting things to do in midwinter than faff about with a massive retail festival.

Before anyone starts, yes, I love spending time with my family but I absolutely do not need the date dictated by a religion I have no belief in.

I do have fairy lights up for several months and always mark the solstice.