To not understand Christmas burnout?

[EmptyYoghurtPot]

Lots of discussion online re:the M & S Christmas advert. Many referencing ‘Christmas burnout’ and how hard it is for women etc As a self confessed crazy Christmas lady I can not get my head round why it’s so stressful? I can understand if people are struggling finance wise but the discussion I saw was on The Guardian page so the concerns were all about buying and wrapping presents, decorating the house and cooking the dinner. I just don’t see why any of that is so stressful. Surely Christmas dinner is just a scaled up version of Sunday lunch? And shopping is fun - can do it online if you don’t like going out. Wrapping presents can be a bit boring but stick a film on, grab a wine and it doesn’t take that long. Am I just blinded by the twinkly lights or does everyone else just long for Boxing Day?

But what are you doing that is exhausting? I can guarantee most, if not all of what is creating this exhaustion is unnecessary.

I can only assume that these people are hosting mass family gatherings, buy gifts for all said family and have a huge social circle and therefore lots of parties in the run up to the big day.

When my DCs were young my DH worked in a job where worked every day in December, often left home at 3am and got home at 8pm before eating and collapsing into bed. I did all the buying, wrapping, decorating, writing Christmas cards, going to Christmas concerts (2 different schools) food shopping etc. We only had my parents as extras for Christmas day so was no big deal. Don't think i ever felt i couldn't manage it though. I think some people just create work and stress for themselves.

My kids are going to their Dad’s this year (visiting grandma on the day but I ex MIL’s 4 kids all pitch in, and she never goes bananas with the cooking anyway) so I’m going to Gran Canaria with a friend!

Thank you ❤️. I mean it's a common stage in life for so many of us sadly. But it's a kick in the teeth to read "oh I don't get what you're so stressed about" when you're having to pretend to be all jolly to your 4 year old at the lights display when you want to cry.

It's more the torturing myself over whether my ungrateful relatives will appreciate the present that I've given them that stresses me out. Yes, I know that Christmas isn't the problem here!

Surely it depends on how much you have to do? I love Xmas but I get overwhelmed with just the extra school stuff to cope with. I have 3 dc’s all in different schools. There’ll be 3 grotto trips/pantos between them, 2 school plays, 1 Xmas concert and a choir, 2 will have Xmas jumper days, 1 will have a festive hair day, 1 the parents go in and have Xmas dinner with them. 1 will have a Xmas fair. That’s 12 days within a few weeks I’ll either have to try and get off work to be there for them, or buy and provide clothing or spend money. Their dad works offshore so it all falls on me. Xmas is wonderful but stressful af.

Its presents and a meat and 2 veg meal.

You don't have to go over board. It's as stressful as you want to make it.

I can get into Christmas if there’s nothing else going on in my wider life. Unfortunately, October - December is busy season in my job, meaning I’m often trying to cram Christmas planning around working 60 - 70 hour weeks, missing events because they clash with client deadlines and inevitably getting sick once I stop for the break because I’m so run down.

Its stressful this year as we basically have no spare income to fund presents beyond that of the very youngest in the families. And even that will be a stretch.

Our autistic daughter cannot attend the activity my mother cheerfully arranged for her cousins for multiple reasons so she will not be seeing her grandma this festive season and she will not come to us.

We're fortunate that neither side get together on Christmas Day itself - sounds a pain in the arse for those who do - but it will still require a lot of travel to both sides over the season whilst one of us is running around ragged after the daughter,

We can hide at home for most of the year - nobody bothers visiting us - but not Christmas.

I'm currently trying to figure out how to tell people we don't want to be buying presents at all this year, but I suspect it will go down like a lead balloon.

Financial difficulties
The expectations of others
The pressure for it to be perfect and for everyone to be happy
Having to think of the right presents for everyone without breaking the bank
Etc etc etc

👏👏👏

Christmas is a very big do for me and my family(and extended). We had , and generally have every year about 20 something people in the house. It’s a big big event. I’m already exhausted thinking about this year.

I really envy people who have small Christmases

But everyone isn’t like you, @EmptyYoghurtPot. Some have circumstances that make Christmas stressful and exhausting. The cost of living crisis is a huge factor in Christmas stress, I’m sure. I have depression and long covid, and as a result, I can’t get out to the shops - I couldn’t walk round a shop without sitting down every few minutes for a rest, so I’ve just had to buy a wheely walker - this means that I generally have to do all my Christmas shopping online. This year, I feel so worn out and blue that I could happily cancel Christmas altogether.

Put yourself into my shoes for a while, and maybe you will find it easier to empathise with people feeling burnt out this Christmas.

I don't find it that stressful but I quite enjoy it. Dh does 50/50 too so it's not left all to me. We don't go over the top with the food or do anything elaborate.

It certainly could be stressful if you're hosting a lot of people and trying to make everything perfect.

Christmas is a bullshit story. It has no religious relevance to the vast majority. The "stress" is a bullshit invention of a consumer driven society which has inflated one day into a completely and utterly ludicrous display of expense. It's one day! Nothing bloody happens! It's like a Sunday roast! With crackers and presents that nobody bloody wants because we buy into this bullshit reciprocal gifting. There is nothing stressful. People need to collectively start talking about expectations and reinvent the celebration.

Or as I put it, ask yourself whether the men are taking the lead? Are the men creating pointless home displays? Are the man fretting about stocking fillers??

Nah.

I adore Christmas. The busier the better. I create work for myself by complicating everything and find sheer joy in it. It is my favourite thing in the known world.

I also understand that people are different and for frivolous, desperate and middling reasons alike, other people find Christmas unbearably tough.

I find lots of things other people love a complete and nonsensical waste of time, but acknowledge that the multi billion industries relating to make-up and holidays in the sun for example, must be on to something.

I used to love it too.
Now I just see people spending ridiculous amounts of money ,overcrowded shops and I do get anxiety.
I would nt mind so much if tv didn't bang on about it all of November too.
Don't get me wrong I love the trees and lights the rest you can keep.
Low key for me .

For me it's having to work all through it (nurse and usually a horrendous time of year with winter pressure). What I wouldn't give to break up the week before knowing I had 2 weeks to just chill out and enjoy the feeling of being relaxed instead of being knackered.

I don't really have a problem with Christmas, as I ignore it until 24th December and I then find that lots of present type things are reduced, which is a great bonus.

Food is just an ordinary roast, so nothing to get in a tizz about. It's just one day.

I have to buy loads of gifts, 3 children to buy for (2 are adults but still, like to buy a good few each), family - brothers, nieces, nephew and then friends - god children. It’s the stress of what to buy that’s the strain for me. Even online, hours trawling and ordering. It’s all one massive strain. Be grateful you don’t recognise this as it’s certainly this way for many

I find life generally overwhelming a lot of the time - working 60hrs a week and trying to be a present and supportive parent as well as housework and all the life admin. There’s not much room in my head for anything else.

I love Christmas but find it a massive headache and generally something I just have to get through.

If my general day to day life was more relaxing I’m sure I’d embrace Christmas more, but many of us are running to capacity and Christmas and all it involves is just an additional stress.

It's fucking relentlessly exhausting

Visiting family, cooking for 20 or more people travelling from different directions some staying over

Working in between the main days

Etc etc etc

I find Christmas very stressful.

We have 2 widowed DMs that live a couple hours away from each other, and none of our houses are big enough for everyone to stay in.

Only one of the houses in our immediate family is big enough to have a sit down meal in for more than 6 people.

Both of the DMs are very nervous about driving and prefer to stay in their own homes.

It's impossible to make everyone happy. We spend Christmas driving between houses, no time to relax, trying to please them both but neither feel as though we spend enough time with them.

Plus the lack of annual leave from work.

Plus there's work drinks and meals, drinks and dinner with different friend groups, trips with the kids.

I don't get the drama either. Christmas is the laziest snugglie time of year. We usually have about a month off, oh is off from now till Feb at moment on gardening leave. We download a ton of movies on line shop crank up the heating and see noone until first week of Jan. Curtain closed, jamAS on and eat FAB food and drink too much home made Bailey's