to turn down a wedding invite, because kids are not allowed?and to say the truth of why we are not going?

[milkgoddess]

cousins wedding in july, should we make up a reason why we will not be going or just simply state the truth, in a thats fine if thats what you want to do[not invite kids], we won't be attending but congratulations and hope you have a great day.

and no i do not want to go without dd.

Message withdrawn

NBU, But take care with how you say it

I'd tell them the truth.

You dont give any reason at all for why you are not attending - just state that you are declining the invitation and that is that.

Just decline and send your best wishes. No need to give a reason.

I think it's fine to say you don't want to leave your dd, and that's why you can't come to the wedding.

actually i think you should, I'd quite like to know why people weren't coming to my wedding.

agree, it's fine, just say you can't leave them for that period but hope they have a lovely time. You don't even HAVE to give a reason, you can just RSVP and say you can't make it. Don't worry, I've been doing it for five years now....

I think I would find it odd if someone had said they weren't coming to my wedding but didn't tell me why.

i have been in a simialr situation, my cousin is also having a child free wedding.

me and dh have been invited to the whole day but the only person i would happily leave them with alllll day is my mom and she is at the wedding.

i have replied saying no to the day due to the childcare arrangements but would love to come to the night.

it is quite a distance from home as well so not totally comfortable with that but seemed like the best compromise.

Seems okay to me. Can't see it being a problem, just be honest, your reasoning is fine. DH's nephew gets married in April - we are invited, kids aren't. We are expected to go to this wedding at a cost to us of around £600!! On top of the financial side, we are supposed to find childcare for three days as the wedding is over 400 miles away and kids aren't allowed in the hotel at all. I DON'T THINK SO!!

most people I know are quite happy that some of their invited guests can't come to their wedding .
Personally I would do the same as Hulababy and decline with my best wishes.

Am I the only person who loves to get wedding invites that don't include my children?

Say you can;t leave your DC by all means, but (unless you dislike your cousin anyway and quite fancy the idea of starting a huge family feud) do NOT send a self-righteous whiny letter about how marriage is about children and what odd, unnatural selfish people they must be for the terrible modern unchristian evilness of... just wanting a wedding free of other people's howling, shitting, snot-covered brats etc, etc, etc.
For more idiocy in this vein and some really good phrases from insane breeders, just pick on any kids-at-weddings thread.

i won't be able to get away without saying a reason, as i will be asked ! by my aunt and mother !

so i have to make up an excuse and lie

or tell the truth

madamez i never said id send any letters,whats that all about?

Simply say you can't get childcare or be more honest and say you don't want to leave your DD.

Just tell the truth. I'm sure it must have crossed their minds that some people might not be able to come.

calm down madamez

you are confusing MN with RL

I mean tell the truth as in - not going because you'd rather have your child with you than be cared for by someone else.

madamez, who are you calling a breeder? Odd insult to throw around on a parenting site. I've only ever seen it used by those nutters on that website who hate children and resent anyone having any.

MG, that wasjust a hypothetical example of What Not to Do. Say you can't come because you can;t get childcare, thanks for the invite, have a nice marriage, then forget all about it.

Just tell them. If they aren;t inviting children they should expect some people not to attend for that reason.

In that case saying you don't want to go without DD and leave it at that - dont be drawn into any more detailed explanations.

i won't be able to use the excuse i can't get childcare, as my mother will probably call my mil !! yikes!!

i think it would perhaps be best just to simply say, we are not coming as we don't want to leave dd, but congratulations have a great day.

and if i start getting told you should get mil to have dd, ill simply say no i don't want to or no id rather not i prefer to be with dd

I would say the truth, but send a nice present to show that you are not secretly miffed about your DD not being invited! (That's if she is doing presents).

My cousin (who is also a close friend) is getting married a week before my due date this summer and it's a few hours drive away. I feel a bit bad as the date was confirmed before I actually got pregnant, but she knows that I won't be able to come and so I am going to buy her a nice present instead - as I won't be having to fork out on an outfit or hotel stay I can afford a bit more on that front!