To think that most women don't even have high body counts?

[etchedowl]

I read this article in the guardian this morning https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/nov/03/when-andrew-tate-and-the-online-manboys-obsess-over-a-bodycount-girls-you-know-what-to-do which is a reaction to the current misogynistic male obsession with a woman's body count i.e. how many men she has slept with. Firstly I agree with the article that it is a totally misogynistic trope and not to be tolerated. But Secondly I wonder to myself, who are all these women with large "body counts"?

Most women I know like myself (now in my early 30's) would have dated and had boyfriend in their teens which mostly they did not have sex with then maybe a boyfriend or two they did sleep with before finally meeting the man they are now married to at some point during university or early 20's.

Most women I know were not out clubbing every week, meeting and sleeping with different men every week or month as the paranoid fantasies of these incel men say but were more likely to be tucked up at home with their long term boyfriends and husbands having a nice meal and watching box sets or even playing scrabble. Even the single women I still know will mostly socialise together at home with going out being the odd time rather than it being a bit never ending smorgasbord of hot men and sex!

Do any of these men actually know any women or do they just believe the absolute drivel they read online by shady men who are ultimately trying to sell them a product by capitalising their insecurity and paranoia?

Please note if there are women out their having a whale of a time having tons of sex then more power to them absolutely no judgement from me. The point of my post it that it seems in no way to me the norm for most women.

Well it sounds like you could've been having a lot more fun than you were

I was having a good time too in my 20's and still having a good time now! I don't think it matters what Andrew Tate thinks of women and how many men they have slept with but my point was that the basic data seems to be wrong which is backed up by both surveys mentioned on this thread.

I think you have led a sheltered life 😬, yes some women get married young after only having a couple partners but not everyone. Also not everyone talks about who they have slept with.

My body counts a lot higher than 3 but it’s rare that anyone ever asks me how many people I have slept with. I’ve spent over 2/3 of my life single.

You've got to be a weird kind of person to boast about shagging tons of people on a Yougov survey.

Would rather shag a rabid badger.

@JustWhatWeDontNeed Yeah...I've got a couple of those too tbh... 😁one in particular where I was hesitant having been hurt before.
It's not even that the sex was bad, some of it was really really good. (Some was poor). I just wish I hadn't been messing around with people who ultimately didn't care about me enough to offer a meaningful commitment which was what I really wanted.

How old are you now?

Ah, just saw, early 30s. You haven't got to the perimenopause and male midlife crisis stage of life yet. Give it a decade and I can guarantee you that no divorce stat with change. It only takes one and then the rest catch on.

Don't know if this point has already been made but the average age for marriage for women is now 33, and to become a mum it's 31. So that gives a lot of time to be in other relationships and build up so called count without having to try too hard. I met my partner around that age and so had a good 15 year run.

I do think the odd woman (or man) likes to judge… why on earth that should be I don’t know!

Half the men I was assumed to have snogged/had sex with in one company where I worked in my mid 20s well I got off with 2 at a Xmas party but certainly no sex! And it was a bitchy, flirty company where young men outnumbered women by 70-80%.

I think it maybe your social circle that are the minority based on your comments.

But not everyone enjoys the same things and that is fine, I have been clubbing / drinking enough times to know it bores the shit out of me. Give me a telescope and a clear starry night with a flask of tea anytime over nightclub and a tray of shots.

"Body count" is a horrible phrase. Like your partner was just lying there and not an enthusiastic participant.

OP, it varies wildly from group to group.

My group at uni were mostly evangelical Christians and waited until engagement or marriage, so their average was one.

My group from an all girls school was pretty square and didn't meet many guys until uni. I'd say average was around 4?

My sports group contains many liberated women! Would hazard a guess that the average is 10+. Probably higher.

Regardless, incels discussing body count are gross.

I actually know men and women who don't want a virgin either past a certain age because they think they'll be rubbish in bed. I find that extremely offensive too.

But the survey stats mention on this thread tend more to my view point suggesting that 3 or 7 sexual partners for women is the norm. Perhaps I am an outlier but it seems women with 10's of partners are also outliers.

In that case you’ve been to the wrong clubs.

Same.

I'd love someone to find this Yougov survey and see what their sample number was, and the part of the country the participants were from.

I can't think of a single person in my social circles with only 3 as their number.

Perhaps but nobody in my large family is divorced, none of my neighbours are except that one, none of my friends parents are or their older siblings, I am literally wracking my brains to think of anyone who is divorced and I can only really think of that one family who used to live next door to us when we were kids.

Body count sounds like something a 15 year old virgin boy would talk about. I’m getting extreme Jay from The Inbetweeners vibes.

@etchedowl did that divorced family have to move out of the area as they were a disgrace?😂

Or hangs around with the wrong nerds

Not so I've been to clubs lots of people adore but not everybody likes nightclubs, the music, drinking or that kind of dancing.

Useful in what way? For what purpose could it be useful when it is so clearly inaccurate?

I think it is healthy for women to have (safe, consenting) sex with quite a few partners as the focus is often on the man, it takes some women a while to get to know what works for them in bed and how to ask for it. Sex is fascinating as you never quite know what someone will be like in bed and if that will match emotionally and physically with you. If your first few lovers are inexperienced or the wrong size/ build/ technique or have completely different turn-ons from you - are you just supposed to stop and be celibate?

No the man was an abusive arsehole and the wife moved back to her home area. The man moved away because everyone knew he was a prick.

Doesn't this prove the point you're questioning though? All those people who weren't playing scrabble and star gazing? We were hanging around with boys with cars, drinking vodka in McDonalds cups, partying, dating, travelling.

Obviously you're less likely to bump into a one night stand when you're out stargazing, than at a nightclub, festival or in Ibiza.

Incidentally not all hook ups are met through drinking and clubbing.

Oh OP my sweet summer child.