To think that most women don't even have high body counts?

[etchedowl]

I read this article in the guardian this morning https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/nov/03/when-andrew-tate-and-the-online-manboys-obsess-over-a-bodycount-girls-you-know-what-to-do which is a reaction to the current misogynistic male obsession with a woman's body count i.e. how many men she has slept with. Firstly I agree with the article that it is a totally misogynistic trope and not to be tolerated. But Secondly I wonder to myself, who are all these women with large "body counts"?

Most women I know like myself (now in my early 30's) would have dated and had boyfriend in their teens which mostly they did not have sex with then maybe a boyfriend or two they did sleep with before finally meeting the man they are now married to at some point during university or early 20's.

Most women I know were not out clubbing every week, meeting and sleeping with different men every week or month as the paranoid fantasies of these incel men say but were more likely to be tucked up at home with their long term boyfriends and husbands having a nice meal and watching box sets or even playing scrabble. Even the single women I still know will mostly socialise together at home with going out being the odd time rather than it being a bit never ending smorgasbord of hot men and sex!

Do any of these men actually know any women or do they just believe the absolute drivel they read online by shady men who are ultimately trying to sell them a product by capitalising their insecurity and paranoia?

Please note if there are women out their having a whale of a time having tons of sex then more power to them absolutely no judgement from me. The point of my post it that it seems in no way to me the norm for most women.

I did a nerdy subject at university and went onto to do a nerdy PhD, I can assure you the nerds are having a great time 😂

polyamorous types are always nerds I find.

Where are you getting the 10s of partners stat from though? I don't think anyone's arguing that "most" women have slept with 20 men? Even your original article doesn't give a value for a high number of partners other than Andrew Tates mention of 3 (I think, I'll admit I've only skimmed the article because I don't want to give that knobhead more headspace than I have to).

You seem to be arguing that these stats are wrong and these stats are right, but I can't see the stats you're pointing to with such high numbers?

There’s a big “hookup” culture at uni apparently. It’s what our culture pushes. So it may be the case with younger women?

It was still taboo for women to sleep around when I was growing up (Gen X) and for good reason. Women bond through sex with men due to our hormones. We are not the same as men. We have always known this, until recently when we started to pretend we didn’t.

Women hate promiscuous women even more than men do by the way. They’re the first to call someone a slag.

But I don't think this is necessarily associated with how many sexual partners someone has either.

It's a very specific british stereotype of a certain generation and I don't think it is particularly representative anymore.

On that I will totally agree

In my circle we were all at it like rabbits so higher numbers are the norm.

My number is fairly massive and I’m cool with that. I had a great time. I managed 3 in one holiday 🤣

But I didn’t get married until I was 36 so I had 21 years to rack them up.

Assuming you and your friends are representative of others is a mistake. Lots of people (women and men) have a higher number of partners, lots have a lower number.

It's a mistake many make in thinking that their experiences or views reflect everyone else's, be it about this of any other topic.

You’re missing a word here. “SOME” women hate promiscuous women. I know none of my circle do or would ever refer to someone as a slag.

Heterosexual women must have the same “body count” on average as heterosexual men. (Those bodies have to come from somewhere!)

Really, AT is a wanker, and if his presumably high body count is acceptable to him, then a woman with the same should also be acceptable.

The reason it isn’t, is because he’s a misogynist, so I think I can safely disregard anything he has to say on the matter.

I think you are missing my point, firstly I just don't find nightclubs fun, I don't enjoy alcohol (I know that makes me a social pariah to many in the UK) however I don't care if other people do, I also have zero judgement for what other women do or how many men they sleep with.

My point is that the there is this notion that women especially my age and younger all have a large number of sexual partners these days. The figure which constitutes a "high body count" I am not even 100% sure about. However various surveys seems to suggest it is no more than about 7 on average and possibly less. So my point is that most women don't even have these high body counts. Some may have a higher number of sexual partners as some PP here have suggested some will have lower but they will be outliers as opposed to the norm.

Most of my friends now had a pretty wild time in their 20s/40s and certainly didn't settle down young or stick to only committed relationships. These are friends I've met in London, through mostly creative activities and the arts and performance so they have tended to be less mainstream. People I know through studying or family have fitted the OP stereotype a bit more and have followed conventional social expectations, but they're people I happen to meet rather than friends.

Agreed I would find it pretty dull to be told about number of sexual partners - nothing to do with me and doesn’t say much about the person really.

supremely indifferent.

What absolute nonsense.

I’m in my 40s and it definitely wasn’t taboo when I was a Gen X teenager or 20-something to shag about. I actually think there is more judgement of women now than there was then. I was reading the (admittedly dreadful) More magazine Position of the Week and happily going down the clinic to get free condoms and a sexual health check in the 90s. I felt pretty liberated and there was no shame at all.

I also had a ferocious sex drive in my youth and I didn’t have any emotional attachment to ONS or want a relationship with the majority of men I slept with. It was just sex.

I just don't find nightclubs fun, I don't enjoy alcohol (I know that makes me a social pariah to many in the UK)

Again I think this quite outdated @etchedowl and an opinion of a certain generation

Fortunately the boozing culture seems to be on the downturn in millenials and gen z

You are missing everybody's point. But don't let that stand in the way of you thinking you're right.

My number is single digits and I'm 39, never married. That's just because for me I wouldn't enjoy casual sex it's not my thing. But my good friend loves casual sex. There's so many different types of people. Everyone should do what makes them happy. I think I'd feel more worried that my number is too low but then again I wouldn't discuss body count with a partner.

I lost count when I was at Uni.... Genuinely no idea what my 'number' is.

It’s the go-to insult for a woman from other women eg slag/slut/hoe/whore etc and it’s because we instinctively know that promiscuous women are not valued and they are “letting the side down”, so to speak.

Same!

Agree with others that it just isn't a point of normal discussion

I've never been specifically asked how many people I've slept with, not because it's taboo, but because it's just not very interesting

I also haven't felt the need to ask any of my sexual partners either! I think there are far more (ahem) useful things to have a discussion on when you're getting into a new sexual relationship

I used to keep a list. In my filofax

(ages self)

@Siameasy Ive never called another woman a ‘slag’ in my life. I feel sorry for those angry, twisted women who carry such internalised misogyny.

This is not something I've experienced or indeed even heard about since high school

I'm sorry to those who have though

You're the one letting the side down, sweetpea.