To think that most women don't even have high body counts?

[etchedowl]

I read this article in the guardian this morning https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/nov/03/when-andrew-tate-and-the-online-manboys-obsess-over-a-bodycount-girls-you-know-what-to-do which is a reaction to the current misogynistic male obsession with a woman's body count i.e. how many men she has slept with. Firstly I agree with the article that it is a totally misogynistic trope and not to be tolerated. But Secondly I wonder to myself, who are all these women with large "body counts"?

Most women I know like myself (now in my early 30's) would have dated and had boyfriend in their teens which mostly they did not have sex with then maybe a boyfriend or two they did sleep with before finally meeting the man they are now married to at some point during university or early 20's.

Most women I know were not out clubbing every week, meeting and sleeping with different men every week or month as the paranoid fantasies of these incel men say but were more likely to be tucked up at home with their long term boyfriends and husbands having a nice meal and watching box sets or even playing scrabble. Even the single women I still know will mostly socialise together at home with going out being the odd time rather than it being a bit never ending smorgasbord of hot men and sex!

Do any of these men actually know any women or do they just believe the absolute drivel they read online by shady men who are ultimately trying to sell them a product by capitalising their insecurity and paranoia?

Please note if there are women out their having a whale of a time having tons of sex then more power to them absolutely no judgement from me. The point of my post it that it seems in no way to me the norm for most women.

Mine’s higher than my school friends (left school mid 90s).
Where I’m from, it’s more the norm to have serious boyfriends, and to settle down. Dating wouldn’t always equals sex.
I lived in London & Paris in my 20s / 30s. The women I lived with were of different nationalities, and far more more loose! It was an eye-opener. I had loads of fellas, English, French & international.

What has actually op said that requires her to be insulted?

@Bananananananananana

As said before - don't think anyone should be insulted nor that the OP has been but it's just the repeated claims that her experience is representative of all women, and absolutely no movement when she gets pages and pages of replies saying so! I think that's whats causing some slightly more exasperated responses to @etchedowl

most people I know lost their virginity with their first long term boy/girlfriend who they might have split up with, not always then they met the next person and that is often it, they marry or stay with that person

its just its not a pattern of behaviour I see playing out in any of the people I know at all.

Most women probably have a 2 or 3 long term boyfriends at most before getting married surely?

everyone I know did seem to meet and stay with their significant other from a very young age in my family, amongst my university friends. In my world people never seem to break up or get divorced.

And then pushing a claim that more sexual partners means someone spends all their time drinking and clubbing (which there seems to be a little judgement about). This is incredibly outdated and whilst may be true of those who are in their 40s (ish?) it's definitely not representative of younger generations and particularly people outside the Uk.

I have been clubbing / drinking enough times to know it bores the shit out of me.

I think you are missing my point, firstly I just don't find nightclubs fun, I don't enjoy alcohol (I know that makes me a social pariah to many in the UK)

If anything I think going to the pub, getting drunk or clubbing is quite a mundane thing to do

What OP describes was the scenario for a lot of my friends.

While they get were all getting married / having kids, I continued on a fairly robust social life. Married at 40. Baby at 44.

Every single one of my female friends have slept with more than 3 people. Many more in most cases.

I think it’s the continued faux disbelief that her experience is anything other than the norm
thats causing the salty responses. It’s not a huge leap to realise the people you know aren’t necessarily representative of the population or necessarily open about all of their sexual encounters.

There are many gentleman with the initials KB that spring to mind 😁

I wasn't really into goth/alternative/greebo.
But I was a huge UK garage connoisseur. Which meant I frequented into the jungle/hip hop scene.
So, yep, I have a feeling we definitely "know" (biblically) the same people.

The people questioning the suggested stats or OPs 2 or 3 idea are being as weird as the OP.

I grew up in Croydon, like I mentioned earlier, when I met my partner at 19 she was the third person I'd slept with, i don't know how many people she'd slept with. I know lots of people who had a similar amount of sexual partners but I know some people, mostly women and one bloke who have racked up hundreds and hundreds over the years.

Me and my OH at some point had an open relationship and slept with more people, I have no idea how many, 20+ each maybe?

The stats, whilst self reported, are likely a more accurate assessment than anyone else can make based on their limited and personal experience and sound perfectly possible to me

I think OP is thinking her small corner of the world aligns with the big wide world in a sweet naive way….

And the surname is a trade?

I'm mid 40s, stopped counting at 100 which was mid 20s.

What a disgraceful article, but as per it seems okay for men to do it? And be regarded as studs.

My experience with the women I am closest to, to have talked about this is not the same as yours. My number is 7 but that is very low compared to my friends. I would say 20 is about normal but I had a friend at uni who was at 45+ by the time we left.

Agree with this. Me and the majority of my friends would have what is considered by misogynistic men as a high body count.

In all honesty I don’t give a shit if someone has shagged one guy or one hundred & one it’s her business not mine; at the end of the day all I’d say is I hope you’ve taken your sexual health seriously but that’s the practical me speaking

Any man who even asked the question would not even be considered worth adding to my 'body count'
What an awful expression 🙄

Bodycount as a term, is awful.
I think everyone’s different , it’s just circumstance, preference whatever - who cares ? it’s a personal thing.

when younger I was deeply disoriented and used to proudly count. I was also a victim of abuse / grooming rings. So very complex, many ways to look at it.

I was once deeply ashamed of those years, now you wouldn’t know it had happened from looking at me and seeing my life and I went way over 100…yup, actually.

I look back in awe and sadness about how I was a vessel, basically.
Some fun horny wildness for sure ! I have fond memories of some passionate moments,nothing quite like the good ones , In this respect , why not- life is short and passion can be a wonderful freeing experience.

However most of my experiences where just sad, desperate situations, and I realised with difficulty as an adult, that often the choices where never mine to make as a seriously vulnerable and isolated girl.

I think it’s body count is a ridiculous subject and just doesn’t matter if we are talking about informed and healthy choices one makes.

I think what matters is educating people so that whatever choices one does make, in this regard are informed and healthy based on their circumstances.

I take it you and your friends didn't go to uni...

OMG @OneTC his surname is a trade.

It's a small world. And not in a Disney sense.

You sound quite naive op.

Of the women I know (I’m now 41) I would say in their 20s :

1/4 were in long term relationships already

1/4 were sleeping with a lot of random people

1/4 had a mix of single time, relationships, a few one night stands but not that many

1/4 didn’t get any attention from men

Not that it matters, everyone is different

I’ve read this entire thread and it grosses me out. OP why are you giving the tiniest bit of legitimacy to anything that bellend says? You may not agree with his numbers but you’re taking his terminology and then trying to prove him wrong. Why??? He’s a bellend who hates women. Who gives a shit how many people anyone has slept with. If you want to start a thread about how you think the number of people the average woman has slept with is lower than many people think given your personal experience then fill your boots - but for god’s sake do it without gratifying that misogynistic maniac with your attention and legitimising his terminology

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Look, this is absolutely ridiculous.

If you go through all the training to become a top-notch female assassin, I would assume one of the rules is that you shouldn’t be talking about your body count with ANYONE, because it’s none of their business.

I have never been honest about my ‘bodycount’; my business only! I only count long term partners, not the one nights, they don’t count in my head. Right or wrong. you do you; I do me.

Men that have issues with body counts are either insecure or shit in bed. No interest in either type.

A PP made a good point about lying to purposely discover and avoid them .

In my circle- highly educated (3 degrees) well travelled, many having lived abroad in several countries for study and work, we all married later. Earliest married was 28. In the 14 years before meeting partner (35 years ago) body count was 50. Some divorces but not a lot. Maybe we were the free love generation!