To think that most women don't even have high body counts?

[etchedowl]

I read this article in the guardian this morning https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/nov/03/when-andrew-tate-and-the-online-manboys-obsess-over-a-bodycount-girls-you-know-what-to-do which is a reaction to the current misogynistic male obsession with a woman's body count i.e. how many men she has slept with. Firstly I agree with the article that it is a totally misogynistic trope and not to be tolerated. But Secondly I wonder to myself, who are all these women with large "body counts"?

Most women I know like myself (now in my early 30's) would have dated and had boyfriend in their teens which mostly they did not have sex with then maybe a boyfriend or two they did sleep with before finally meeting the man they are now married to at some point during university or early 20's.

Most women I know were not out clubbing every week, meeting and sleeping with different men every week or month as the paranoid fantasies of these incel men say but were more likely to be tucked up at home with their long term boyfriends and husbands having a nice meal and watching box sets or even playing scrabble. Even the single women I still know will mostly socialise together at home with going out being the odd time rather than it being a bit never ending smorgasbord of hot men and sex!

Do any of these men actually know any women or do they just believe the absolute drivel they read online by shady men who are ultimately trying to sell them a product by capitalising their insecurity and paranoia?

Please note if there are women out their having a whale of a time having tons of sex then more power to them absolutely no judgement from me. The point of my post it that it seems in no way to me the norm for most women.

I bet they don't!

Good grief! What a sheltered little existence. Most of my friends have not had 2 or 3 boyfriends before getting married. Add 10 to that. All my friends that I have had since school have had a fair few sexual partners - one night we all wrote a list and the average was probably about 18 - we are early 40s. Mine is 12, I lost my virginity at 18, met my DH at 28, so in 10 years slept with 12 men. And if I’m honest, I wish it was more.

I hate this term but I have a very high count. Actually I have no idea.
Do I care. No I don't.
It's my business and anyone who asks me would be told where to go.
If a man has an issue with it he isn't the man for me.

the current misogynistic male obsession with a woman's body count

I have literally never encountered this. I hit Tinder hard in my twenties, and have been in a number of relationships. I have never heard it mentioned or been asked about it by any man I've ever known.

The OP asks if 'these men' know any women. Well, sometimes I wonder if the Guardian knows any men.

It was other people who brought up drinking and clubbing in that context, I was only responding to them. I don't enjoy drinking or clubbing but I have done a ton of travelling and hope to do much more.

I would love to know when the number changes from standard to promiscuous, especially from those who refer to promiscuousity in their posts.

Lost my virginity 22 years ago. 3 long term relationships, 4, 8 and currently 2 years.

So 8 years either single or short term relationship or situation.

So in those 8 years, when do I cross the "promiscuous" line. One sexual encounter a year, 2 a year, 1 a month, 1 a week?!

Personally, I think my number is disappointingly low now that I do the math.

Evidentially you have led a very sheltered life op. The proof is in the words. You seem to have very limited knowledge of the world around you . Of course women have multiple partners. Factually 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. There is no way round it.

You are jumping to conclusions, being with fewer sexual partners does not equate to being sheltered, many of you act like i never left my home town, its a very limited view indeed.

You specifically mentioned wild nights out and clubbing as opposed to being at home with your long term partner. Forgive me if I misunderstood, but I definitely read that as being with one man and going out partying were mutually exclusive.

100% agree with you op, I met my husband when I was 18 and he was 22, I'm now 32 and he is 36. I have been with 2 people in my life, and majority of my friends are the same (there are a few with higher body counts).

No not at all, I have lived overseas on my own, I lived in London alone while studying for my masters, travelled all over the world with my work and for fun. If it makes you feel better to assume I am a meek little thing who never left her home town then fine but you are the one who has a limited view.

I am 36 and I think I have slept with 7 different men in my life (including my husband, that I am now married to).

Does that count as a high body count?

I haven't been out clubbing every weekend, these men just accumulated over the span of my sexual life.

Thanks, many people have got their claws out for me it seems even though I passed no judgement on anyone, they seem rather to be defensive and judging themselves.

There has never been a time when 50% of marriages have ended in divorce. The lifetime rate was in the 40s some time back, and has since dropped. First marriages are slightly less likely to end than the overall rate, as all marriages after the first have much higher divorce rates overall.

7 for me but quite a few messing around without quite getting to penetrative sex as well. And I got married at 26 and lost my virginity at 19 so I packed a reasonable amount into those six or so years!

I suspect this is one of those situations where most people have a low "body count" in the low single digits, but a few outliers with numbers in the 10s drag up the mean.

Mine's two, for what it's worth, and unlikely to grow any time soon, if ever. DH's is one.

To be honest I don't know what a high body count is exactly, but one of the surveys mentioned here says 7 was average. I really don't think it matters how many people a woman has slept with its her private business I just think most people men and women haven't slept with huge numbers of people, those that have are outliers in my opinion.

Genuine question - Someone mentioned that men have a higher body count generally, but if so who are they going with? Are there not equal amounts of men and women? Who are the extra women that men are seeing? Paid ones??

I quite agree!

Yes I do wonder where some of the respondents on here get their information!

Yes that was in response to previous posters.

I find it strange and extremely blinkered that so many people equate the amount of sexual partners a person has, with how adventurous or sheltered they are. I haven't moved abroad like yourself, but have travelled for amazing holidays all over the world, I just prefer being in a safe, happy relationship, to meeting new partners or having meaningless one night stands. We would be getting ripped to shreds if we were judging people for having high body counts, but it seems to be ok to judge people for having very low counts.

"at a dinner recently someone mentioned they’d only slept with their husband and I was startled when all of the five other women there said “me too”.

If I was at that dinner I'd immediately be thinking "aye, right."

All five of the other women? Sure Jan.

Experience varies hugely. We tend to be in a bubble where people have similar experience as our own and this feeds our "most people are like me" mentality. But you have no way of knowing whether most people are like you - in fact there are different social bubbles where the norm may be completely different.
And none of it matters anyway.

It's extremely easy for any woman to get sex, as easy as ordering pizza.

It's harder for men which is why you get so many Incels.