To think that most women don't even have high body counts?

[etchedowl]

I read this article in the guardian this morning https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/nov/03/when-andrew-tate-and-the-online-manboys-obsess-over-a-bodycount-girls-you-know-what-to-do which is a reaction to the current misogynistic male obsession with a woman's body count i.e. how many men she has slept with. Firstly I agree with the article that it is a totally misogynistic trope and not to be tolerated. But Secondly I wonder to myself, who are all these women with large "body counts"?

Most women I know like myself (now in my early 30's) would have dated and had boyfriend in their teens which mostly they did not have sex with then maybe a boyfriend or two they did sleep with before finally meeting the man they are now married to at some point during university or early 20's.

Most women I know were not out clubbing every week, meeting and sleeping with different men every week or month as the paranoid fantasies of these incel men say but were more likely to be tucked up at home with their long term boyfriends and husbands having a nice meal and watching box sets or even playing scrabble. Even the single women I still know will mostly socialise together at home with going out being the odd time rather than it being a bit never ending smorgasbord of hot men and sex!

Do any of these men actually know any women or do they just believe the absolute drivel they read online by shady men who are ultimately trying to sell them a product by capitalising their insecurity and paranoia?

Please note if there are women out their having a whale of a time having tons of sex then more power to them absolutely no judgement from me. The point of my post it that it seems in no way to me the norm for most women.

Speak for yourself 👀

Sounds like you lead quite a sheltered existence.

Also I'm not sure who these guys think woman are keeping their "body counts" low to catch ..... Many men now are polygynous dating, prostitute using, porn addled, father to a few aborted fetuses (not always the woman's first choice from the male forums I've frequented, more like they pressured then into it), commitment phobe, selfish, irresponsible man babies. More like they're spend their time trying to check every porn check box; milf, threesome, different races, as much casual sex as they can get. Bit then they want yo settle with a low body count "good girl". The others are to be discarded (as they deserve).

"I want a woman like my Grandmother" they often say ... Are you a man like you grandfather? Probably had one sexual partner, barely used porn, probably had responsibility for a family in his 20s... .so NO. Just fuck off.

We used to call it our 'number' and it was a useful way of finding out if a person was a judgemental twat. Male or female.

I don’t even know how many men I’ve slept with. It’s not relevant information to me so I didn’t bother keeping track. I could estimate, but if I sat and tried to count I’m not sure I wouldn’t forget a couple.

Also they can bleat on about body count and the "cock carousel" all they want ..... But ateotd they generally don't know a woman's past. And can ever know.

They share tips in identifying a high body count woman from her appearance and behaviour.... Very reliable. I know two ladies who, shall we say, enjoyed their 20s, who settled with eligible bachelor's who don't have a clue.

@Iamuhtredsonofuhtred exactly this! I could guess a few teenage relationships, a few longer term relationships, a few flings, a handful of one night stands, but I certainly couldn't give an accurate number or a list of names 😂

OP your experience and mine are more or less the same, except mine is possibly a bit more tame than your post’s description 😊

I met my 1st boyfriend during A-levels (no sex), 2nd boyfriend as undergrad at Uni (some sex); as postgrad at Uni I met long-term partner (who became my husband) and we’ve been together (happily) ever since.

In each relationship I was in, we enjoyed meals at home or out, nights in watching telly/box sets; our nights out were to visit friends or to go to the cinema or were attending university societies like astronomy society, RPG society, SF society. I’m not a drinker, not a prude, not religious; I love dancing but I never enjoyed loud/packed clubs and pubs 🤷‍♀️ My friends at the time were all the same as me and met their partners in a similar way.

It takes all sorts 👍

I consider myself a rarity in that I am nearly 50 and still married to the man I met at 18. That certainly isn't common among my age group. I just happened to meet the guy that did it for me and kept doing it. We definitely weren't sat at home playing Scrabble and drinking cocoa just because we were in a relationship, though. Not sure why you consigned us to the boring git bin just because we weren't having sex with different people. We still had a mad time in our 20s. Come to that, we pretty much carried on with having mad times because we didn't have kids.
We just happened to do all that in one relationship. Others do all that and have lots of relationships/one night stands. If I hadn't met DH, that would have been me. Lives don't fit in neat boxes. I didn't become a boring stay at home because of a long term relationship, and people who have sex with more different people might still be at home in front of the telly more nights than we were at our most mad times.

I'm early 60s and I had a wilder time pre marriage than you describe OP. I wouldn't say all my friends did too, but none of us met our husbands before our late 20s and most married in our 30s. Boxed sets and scrabble weren't on the cards except at Christmas with the family or later in life (we did have tv, video, recording of live tv though back in the Stone Age when I was in my teens / 20s / early 30s).

ONS were considered a bit 'out there' but there was a lot of messing about without actual penetration and we were well versed in contraception and STIs.

I think you have a strange view. That said, everyone is different. I remember the girlfriend of one of my uni friends being disapproving when I invited a man to my room for coffee. She has been with her boyfriend / husband though since they were both 16, which wasn't that common in my social circle.

I find it odd that you find it so difficult to believe that women would have slept with more than a handful of men.

That in itself almost feels like internalised misogyny to me - 'Women couldn't possibly!' (gasp!) - like women should be better behaved or something?

There's nothing wrong with women having a good time if they want to, and many do.

I agree with OP, most women who have settled down in their teens or twenties have not slept with many people.

I know a few formerly promiscuous people, one who had a hoe era in her late teens due to insecurity about her appearance, but then stopped. I know more 30-something virgins than outright promiscuous people, although that may be related to my specific peers (Asperger's).

From the non-autistic 30-somethings I know, the average is to be a serial monogamist with a couple of long-term relationships.

There are a lot of posts talking about casual sex during "Uni" - but most people still don't go to university. I've noticed that graduates don't realise that they're actually a minority and seem to think their experience applies to everyone. The subset of university students and graduates who are also promiscuous must be a smaller minority still.

I think because promiscuous people sleep with each other, they think that everyone is doing it.

There's nothing wrong with that, everyone is different. But don't underestimate the number of people (mostly women and girls) who are not about that life.

Maybe I would have been one of those women except I’d be lucky to find one man in a stadium full of them appealing enough to want to sleep with them. There has always been, to me, a shortage of attractive/appealing men so kudos to whoever has managed to find numerous ones.

I want to add that calling OP narrow-minded, sheltered, boring, weird, odd, and everything else for NOT having a "high body count" is misogyny in itself and very judgmental. It's like some kind of inverse prudery.

I’ve had more one night stands than I’ve had sexual relationships.. but isn’t that the point? 😂

one who had a hoe era

What a revolting and immature turn of phrase.

I'm slightly bemused that 'most' women might only have two or three boyfriends before getting married....
That's not my experience (nor that of many of my friends!)

I'm 46. Never married. I've had about 5 serious boyfriends since I was 17, and some short term flings in between! I don't think that's so unusual. In my close friendship group of 10, more than half of us are unmarried - 3 married (one to a 2nd husband; the others married in their 30s); 2 live with long-term partners; 5 of us are single (and 2 of us have been single for more than 3 years.) Surely that's not terribly uncommon?
Within that group, some have only ever slept with one person - and I know one has slept with more than 50 (she enjoyed her time at Uni!)
I'd say the average is probably 10-15 people.

Remember that the longer you are single, the more chance there is of a higher 'body count'.

There's nothing wrong with the fact that OP doesn't have a high 'body count' (very weird terminology!) - it's that she can't get her head around the idea that some women might.

That is internalised misogyny - she can't believe women would behave that way.

Women can and do behave that way and as long as they are staying safe and enjoying themselves, it's absolutely fine.

It's her own phrase. Unclench.

I had 4 long term relationships and several short term ones and some FWBs (though we didn't call them that back then), as well as one off encounters. Slept with all the bfs and FWBs except the first - think neither of us dared to ask the other.

I lost count 😁 but then I have bipolar and had some lively times amid the quiet spells.

All people are different. I have friends who slept with over a 100 guys, and also- a friend who only slept with her hubby. I somehow managed to sleep with around 20 people despite never being particularly adventurous.

Sure it was.

People keep saying that when it is not the case! I've probably done more adventurous things than many people on this thread but I am not into clubbing or drinking, yes I met my Dh when I was 18 and yes I enjoy a board game aside from that I've had a lot of fun and adventures in my life. If anything I think going to the pub, getting drunk or clubbing is quite a mundane thing to do with your time.

Quite! I never judged anyone I only said I don't think most women do have these high numbers of sexual partners and the stats we have available seem to back that up.