To think that most women don't even have high body counts?

[etchedowl]

I read this article in the guardian this morning https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/nov/03/when-andrew-tate-and-the-online-manboys-obsess-over-a-bodycount-girls-you-know-what-to-do which is a reaction to the current misogynistic male obsession with a woman's body count i.e. how many men she has slept with. Firstly I agree with the article that it is a totally misogynistic trope and not to be tolerated. But Secondly I wonder to myself, who are all these women with large "body counts"?

Most women I know like myself (now in my early 30's) would have dated and had boyfriend in their teens which mostly they did not have sex with then maybe a boyfriend or two they did sleep with before finally meeting the man they are now married to at some point during university or early 20's.

Most women I know were not out clubbing every week, meeting and sleeping with different men every week or month as the paranoid fantasies of these incel men say but were more likely to be tucked up at home with their long term boyfriends and husbands having a nice meal and watching box sets or even playing scrabble. Even the single women I still know will mostly socialise together at home with going out being the odd time rather than it being a bit never ending smorgasbord of hot men and sex!

Do any of these men actually know any women or do they just believe the absolute drivel they read online by shady men who are ultimately trying to sell them a product by capitalising their insecurity and paranoia?

Please note if there are women out their having a whale of a time having tons of sex then more power to them absolutely no judgement from me. The point of my post it that it seems in no way to me the norm for most women.

You must have if you believe most women have only slept with 2 or 3 men before their husband.

Your experience doesn't relate to many on this post alone.

I was maybe lax with my punctuation to make it clear!

This. Men like virgins because they know that she has no comparison to him ans won't know that he's shit in bed.

Men have no guarantee of paternity

They have now, thanks to science. But yes, Engels wrote about the male desire to have exclusive use of a woman's uterus to create heirs to leave his property to.

I'm nearer 50. A few friends met people in late teens and are still with them. Most people didn't. Some of my friends have slept with lots of people for lots of different reasons.

Also, hate to burst your bubble, but at least 50% of you friends will divorce at some point in their 40s, so the body counts go up again!

The point is the incels thinks women should be virginal and it was ever thus with the misogynists

I've only ever seen women bragging about casual sex and having many sexual partners on here. I've never knowingly met one in real life.

It’s an anonymous forum. Nobody is ‘bragging’.

Is that because they know you'd disapprove? To me it's something you talk about with close friends. Not bragging about having many sexual partners, but if you know a friend who is dating then you'll naturally talk about her dates. If you know her for years you'll know she's dated lots of people. To me this is in the same category as knowing that your friend eats a lot of steak: morally completely irrelevant, interesting if they want to talk about it with you.

Can you think of any reason why women might not be sharing details of their sex lives with you en masse in real life?

I actually don't think this sort of discussion is helpful. It's a disgusting phrase and counting and sharing the number of partners seems outdated.

No man asks how many shoes I have or how many massages I've had so the number of sex partners should be equally irrelevant.

So many people say "it's nothing to be ashamed of" but even talking about it gives credit to the idea that the topic is relevant.

Disclosure is made knowing the other person will make an internal judgement.

Respectable. Easy. Lots/not much to compare to.

Not relevant. Not disclosing.

The older singer the more power I have by maintaining my privacy.

@AmazingSnakeHead

Im not sure that's completely accurate.

Divorce rates for same sex women couples are around the same as heterosexual couples (Divorce-initiated by women 75% of the time) whereas same sex male couples have a much lower rate of divorce (mid 30s%).

Maybe us women are just hard to please. The numbers don't seem to suggest it's a problem with men alone.

I don't care how many others have slept with, but I must say that the experience of you and your friends does sound wildly different from the experience of me and my friends. No judgement.

You are playing into the misogyny by even commenting on "body count" would a man's body count be even discussed?

It's called "internalised misogyny". Like the Aunts from Handmaid's Tale, women can gain limited power under patriarchy by colluding with men to oppress other women. In this case, the power is that of having a husband to protect them and resource their children.

It's flawed thinking because many husbands suck at husbanding, they don't pull their weight or are even violent. It's luck of the draw whether the chaste "good wife" gets a decent husband or not. I would argue that the kind of guy for whom a woman's "body count" is important is also the kind of guy who will treat women like a resource (uterus, house slave, etc) to be exploited and will cheat because there's kinky stuff he wants to do but not with his "good woman at home".

These women fear promiscuous women because they know that that's who their husband will be looking to cheat with. A common feature of the "good wife" is that she blames the OW for her husband's decision to break his marriage vows.

I married the second man I slept with and got divorced after ten years. I then spent my 30s having casual sex and a couple of serious ones. So my number mid 40s is much higher than when I was young. All my friendship group are relatively similar too.

I wanted to add that I hold the exact same standard for men.

I would actually be quite put off if my husband had many encounters prior to me.
The same women that I mentioned above that only had 1 partner, being their DH, the same was true for their DH with only having one experience and it being their DW. (I hope it makes sense).

Women can enjoy as much sex as they like more or less than men, I think that’s irrelevant.

Personally, I have my own beliefs as to how I like to live my life and promiscuous sex isn’t part of it be it for men or women.
I don’t judge anyone choosing to do it, I just don’t surround myself with those people, not because of their choice of partners, but often enough we have a difference in values in other areas which then as a whole means I don’t surround myself with them.

Also, (this has nothing to do with your post) but how bloody degrading is to use the term “body count” as if we’re nothing more than pieces of meat?! 🤢

Just to clarify, my age is mid 40s, not this number they speak of 😂

It’s obviously going to vary massively, rather than ‘most’ people falling into a particular category.

For starters 54% of women aged 30-34 have never been married, so that alone should tell you that no, not everyone mirrors you and your mates.

Given if we marry at all we marry later and later, it’s clear some people will have had more than 4 sexual partners. Long term relationships apart, many people have short flings and ONS.

The mere fact you think most people are like you would indicate you have quite a narrow experience of life OP. Life is vary varied.

Shouldn’t even be a conversation anyone entertains! I have no idea how many people my now husband has slept with or vice versa, he has NEVER asked me and nor should he! We both did STD tests when we decided to stop using condoms and that was all we needed to know we were being safe and healthy. This thread and the conversations in general really make me feel sick! It’s nobodies business unless a new partner has an STD/illness that is transmissible and could cause health issues for their partner.

File with "I've got lots of female friends nd none of them have been raped" from men who are adamant that #metoo is exaggerating the rape epidemic under "They don't tell you because they know you're a judgey cunt who'd hold it against them".

Why does the Guardian keep giving that idiot publicity? I remember reading somewhere that the average British woman has slept with three men. BDSM is prevalent in the media too but if you look that up it's something like 1% of couples practicing. I remember the percentage being ridiculously low for 'ever tried' vanilla-BDSM acts too and most couples never repeated the experience because they found they didn't care for it. Anyway, men and boys who follow Tate aren't concerned with facts.

Sorry what does that mean? 😅

This.

The only legitimate question is "when was your last STI test, what was the result, and have you had sex with anyone since?"

Even then, "that's private, and I will get a fresh test before we have sex" is a legitimate answer.

3?! Hahaha.

My mum grew up in Soviet Union which (among other shitty things) was union-wide famous for the saying 'There is no sex in USSR'. You don't do it, don't talk about it, and if you sleep with anyone else except for your legal husband - you're a whore - in no uncertain terms (different for men, obvs). There were no extramarital sex, no gays, no drug-use. As if..

In reality, people shagged multiple people just as they always did, do and will continue to. Ok, started a bit later than nowadays, but all the student parties and later office parties were happening just as they always did. There were plenty of people cheating on their spouses (both men and women), plenty of abortions too. Nothing new under the sun. It was done more covertly than now, but it was done. My mum married young (21) and even she managed to have more than 3 partners. I know this, because she alleged to it during one of our tipsy heart to hearts.

Me? I see sex as a fun enjoyable activity. I don't need 'to deeply know the man/woman' I fuck, I don't need any special sort of 'connection', I don't see it as some sort of moral failing, 'giving myself to them', etc.

I've slept with a lot of people, men, women, both men and women at the same time. Lost count ages ago, but way WAY more than 30. Closer to a 100, at a guess. Had a very wild youth, moved in the circles of creative people: rock musicians, DJs, painters, actors, directors, theater/cinema people. Lots of parties, raves, drug taking&drinking, lots of sex. Traveled around the world. I don't regret any of it for a second, had a wonderful time.

I'm sure some men and women would view me as a 'hoe' - that's their prerogative, I couldn't care less. As for Tate - hes a criminal, a rapist, a human trafficker. He should be locked up, why would anyone care what he thinks.

I just want to know who they think all those 'high body count' women are sleeping with? Other women? No, of course not. Men. Who of course are not being criticised or called names by these dangerous, misogynistic arseholes.

This was funny. All you need to do to repel incel and Tate fans is say you slept with more than three people. That is so doable