To think that most women don't even have high body counts?

[etchedowl]

I read this article in the guardian this morning https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/nov/03/when-andrew-tate-and-the-online-manboys-obsess-over-a-bodycount-girls-you-know-what-to-do which is a reaction to the current misogynistic male obsession with a woman's body count i.e. how many men she has slept with. Firstly I agree with the article that it is a totally misogynistic trope and not to be tolerated. But Secondly I wonder to myself, who are all these women with large "body counts"?

Most women I know like myself (now in my early 30's) would have dated and had boyfriend in their teens which mostly they did not have sex with then maybe a boyfriend or two they did sleep with before finally meeting the man they are now married to at some point during university or early 20's.

Most women I know were not out clubbing every week, meeting and sleeping with different men every week or month as the paranoid fantasies of these incel men say but were more likely to be tucked up at home with their long term boyfriends and husbands having a nice meal and watching box sets or even playing scrabble. Even the single women I still know will mostly socialise together at home with going out being the odd time rather than it being a bit never ending smorgasbord of hot men and sex!

Do any of these men actually know any women or do they just believe the absolute drivel they read online by shady men who are ultimately trying to sell them a product by capitalising their insecurity and paranoia?

Please note if there are women out their having a whale of a time having tons of sex then more power to them absolutely no judgement from me. The point of my post it that it seems in no way to me the norm for most women.

🤣

There is no norm @etchedowl. There are just different numbers.

My experience is the same as yours, OP. Met by DH at 17. It’s also the same for immediate family and close friends. Nearly everyone settled down young generation after generation. Divorce also rare. For those who did, they found a long-term relationship again and remarried. I’m also aware it’s not the norm and really couldn’t care. I suppose birds of a feather flock together.

Body count so... What's the word... Grim?? I'm in my 30s and my 'count' would cause some jaws on here to drop, I'm sure. Along with many of my friends. Some of them however remained virgins until they were mid thirties then got married! Averages and medians aren't really worth much when it comes to talk about human experiences I feel. The point is, it's none of those human bags of shites' businesses. (I don't think that makes sense grammatically but you get my point)

But overall I don't think most women have a "high body count" whatever the hell that actually is. Most women probably have a 2 or 3 long term boyfriends at most before getting married surely?

What planet are you living on? What’s the point of this thread when you’re arguing with everyone that’s actually answering your question here

did you tell them 'I have a head for business and a body for sin'?

#80sMovieReference

You're half right. Men seem to favour "bicycle" in a way women don't, but they definitely use "slut" and "hoe" a lot too.

I'm jealous of these people who live in worlds where men don't use sexist insults against women.

Again, perhaps amongst people you’ve met but my friends and colleagues would never refer to another woman in such derogatory terms, no matter how many people she had slept with. It’s no one’s business and I find the assumption all women think like you really quite offensive

What side? You’re on the opposite side from me if you spout this nonsense. Valued for what and by who? Are you male?

@SurprisedWithAHorse

I know what world we live in and what some men and other women think. But I refuse to let someone else’s fucked up, woman-hating attitude dictate my behaviour and I do not subscribe to the idea of a woman being a ‘slag/hoe/bicycle’ because she enjoys sex and has had more than 3 partners. Do me a favour!

The first time I heard a man say this I laughed because I thought it was a joke about only dating women who have killed less than three people. It's actually quite useful because even if I met a man's "requirements" in this department the very fact that he had this requirement would rule him out as incompatible with me.

I remember deciding when I was a teen that using a girl's sexual activity against her as an insult was such a load of sexist bullshit.

Please don’t waste your time thinking about what Tate says. I mean why? Why bother writing articles about him and reposting the articles etc? It’s obvious that he’s mentally unstable, aggressive and desperate for female attention and that eriting about him is what he wants.

As to your actual question…

The term “body count” usually refers to how many people a soldier or incident has killed. It’s repulsive to hear it used in a sexual context, but I expect a certain type of hyper-aggressive man finds it amusing to compare shagging a woman with killing her.

I don’t ask my friends for their sexual history, but at a dinner recently someone mentioned they’d only slept with their husband and I was startled when all of the five other women there said “me too”. I slept with 9 guys before settling down but I guess some women meet the guy right for them earlier.

A man who ‘requires’ his prospective girlfriend to have fewer than three partners is going to be a right sad sack in bed, isn’t he?

Didn’t Andrew Tate’s girlfriend say he just pounds away and strangles? Urgh. What a Prince.

You realise that most people won't have "the norm" though don't you?

Lets go with the 7 figure and take 100 people. Most of those 100 people won't have slept with 7 people. As an example (completely made up)

0: 5%
1: 5%
2: 5%
3: 5%
4: 7.5%
5: 7.5%
6: 10%
7: 10%
8: 10%
9: 7.5%
10: 7.5%
11: 5%
12: 5%
13: 5%
14: 5%

Very crude but gets the point across. If the above is true, then despite your body count being perfectly normal, you're just as much as an outlier as the supposed outliers who have slept with 10 people. Hell, 80% of people have slept with more people than you.

And you're acting like the surveys that said 3 or 7 were correct are accurate. Hell, I found the superdrug one in less than 2 minutes, I bet I can find one thats got a way higher number easily enough.

You sometimes read about abusive men in the news who are obsessed with the past sexual partners of their spouse and use it as an excuse to abuse them. Not the sort of person I'd want anything to do with.

Are you a wee stay at home home buddy?scrabble & a box set is not a weekend I recognise . I’d definitely challenge that account of young women social habits.

If you look at the detail of that survey, they asked 4000 people, and only 2500 were willing to share (or could remember) their number. I don't think thats a particularly representative sample when there are, what 33 million women in Britain...

What's more, according to that survey, over a third of 18-29 year olds are virgins. I would suggest that either the vast majority of the people in that age bracket are close to the 18 age, or they've interviewed a particularly asexual group or people. Either way, that would skew that average quite a lot...

My point is that the there is this notion that women especially my age and younger all have a large number of sexual partners these days. The figure which constitutes a "high body count" I am not even 100% sure about. However various surveys seems to suggest it is no more than about 7 on average and possibly less. So my point is that most women don't even have these high body counts. Some may have a higher number of sexual partners as some PP here have suggested some will have lower but they will be outliers as opposed to the norm.

I have noticed US drama seem to push this idea of a hook up culture - then you see surveys and the young and in fact most of their population claim to be having less sex than any previous generation.

A lot is going to depend on normal in social circle - access to opportunities for many partners so university - personal situations and drives - people's age when asked- and what surveys actually ask and how truthful people are - because I think it actually fairly common for men in such surveys to claim much higher numbers than women. So I think it hard to know for sure and it you do have to look at research as people do assume their normal is everyone's normal.

But overall I don't think most women have a "high body count" whatever the hell that actually is. Most women probably have a 2 or 3 long term boyfriends at most before getting married surely?

You’ve lived a sheltered life OP.

Exactly - none of the people I slept with were “bodies”, they were people who I connected with, some for years, some for a few months, some for a night, but all people with feelings and fascinating stories (or at least I thought they were back then!) It was exciting and special and pleasurable and shouldn’t be reduced to “bodies”

Although some of those bodies were amazing, oh my word . . .

Well actually it was for the dressing up and music, atmosphere I went as well as for the drugs… tar and feather me if you will!

And also, both surveys asked people of a variety of age ranges, so will have included people who's total count isn't "final" as it were. If you asked the exact the same people for their figure when they turned 90, that average will end up being higher, because there's plenty of divorcees out on the dating scene, or getting it on in their old peoples homes.

I don’t ask my friends for their sexual history, but at a dinner recently someone mentioned they’d only slept with their husband and I was startled when all of the five other women there said “me too”. I slept with 9 guys before settling down but I guess some women meet the guy right for them earlier.

I met DH as a shy very sheltered 18 year old fell in love and stayed faithful but I don't think my experience is the usual - though I know several couples from DH uni social group who met at 18/19 and are still together in their 40s - though I've been told on here 50s is peak age for divorces and high in deaths so who knows how long that will be the case for.