Is this appropriate for a teaching assistant?

[loiss85]

If you found out that your 15/16 year old child (in Year 11) had been to a birthday party at the home of their class teaching assistant (the party being for the TA's child, a classmate of your child), and alcohol and vaping had taken place at this party which was actively condoned by the TA, how would you feel? Is this appropriate conduct for a TA?

Were the kids drinking alcohol and vaping or just the adults?

If it was adults then j wouldn’t be happy my teenager was around it but I can’t stop what other adults do in their own home.

If it was the teenagers then I would assume the TA didn’t provide the alcohol nor vaping and if they were condoning it then was trying to stop it.
If someone else brought it to the party and the TA was unaware at first then I wouldn’t be blaming them.

The kids, most of them

The TA provided some of the alcohol and certainly had a very permissive, casual attitude to it being drunk in her home.

So the kids were vaping and drinking whilst the TA was there and they were approving it? No that is not appropriate and it’s unprofessional. I’m a TA and would never put myself in that position.

I would be extremely unhappy and would probably speak to the parent about it

At that point she's a parent not a TA.

Correct.

Some of them were even addressing her as "Miss" as a sort of joke, and interchangeably using her first name instead, etc.

If the TA provided the alcohol then no I wouldn’t be happy and I would be speaking to them about it.

I’m a teacher and have colleagues whose children attend our school. when the friends visit their houses then the children call the teacher by the first name as they are not in school so that’s fairly normal.

At this point she’s a parent and very much over stepping boundaries but it’s also unprofessional and she has put herself in a difficult situation.

I am flabbergasted that a TA is allowed to work in the same YEAR GROUP as their own child, let alone in their actual class?! This has been directly against policy in every school I've worked in or with.

Absolutely not. For any adult never mind a TA. I’d speak to the Headteacher, if word gets out it could be problematic for the school so the HT needs to know I think.

I've been TA in my child's class, and been responsible for their teaching for best part of a year. In small schools this is quite common.

In a senior school TAs don’t work with a year group. They sometimes work with a specific pupil, so will be in that pupil’s lessons, and sometimes are assigned a range of classes which require support. They could easily be in their own child’s class, just as I, as a teacher, taught my DD. And my dad taught me, in the dim and distant past…

I think that at 15/16 alcohol will always turn up at a party. As a parent I would rather have it out in the open and know what had been available, hopefully keeping it to beer/cider rather than smuggled in spirits.

At home she is a parent, not a TA.

So are you saying that the TA would have to move year group when their child reached that year?!

I teach at my daughter’s school. I teach every year group (secondary); I just don’t teach her class. It’s fine.

Who provided the alcohol? If they are in England then legal to drink at home or on private premises but an adult shouldn’t be supplying under 18s.
It does seem inappropriate if she is a TA and was present at party. Presumably she thought supervising was best rather than leaving them to it.

The alcohol was provided by the kids and also some by the TA. They brought some but also drank some that she had at her home.

They were also playing "games" like spin the bottle, kissing each other openly, and the like, with the TA present.

So the parent was supervising them rather than leaving them alone. And providing alcohol in preference to kids bringing 50% bottles of vodka. Sounds very sensible to me. 🤷‍♀️

Every year 11 party has kids drinking. It's naive to think they won't.

This is quite normal for kids of this age.

They were being monitored which is more than most get.

No I would not be happy.

The old safeguarding lead at my old school would often supply her teens and friends with alcohol and let them smoke/vape and I thought it was an awful thing to condone.

I started drinking, smoking and smoking weed from a young age because the parents of my friends were providing it and I felt pressure into doing it.
There were many parents who provided harder drugs but I would say no to them, whereas my friends would end up doing them to join in.

We thought they were cool parents.
They we’re obviously not.

Sounds like a typical teenage party. At least there was a parent in the house to ensure things didn't get out of hand.

If you don't want your teenager drinking or kissing boys at parties you need to keep her at home.

I would expect alcohol and vaping at a year 11 party but I think that the TA supervising this party is highly unprofessional.
Does she have a partner or other adults who also supervised?

She had a partner yes. He's not a teacher or in any way connected with the school but he was present at the time.

As a former TA I would have lost my job if my employer had found I’d allowed this at my house.