Is this appropriate for a teaching assistant?

[loiss85]

If you found out that your 15/16 year old child (in Year 11) had been to a birthday party at the home of their class teaching assistant (the party being for the TA's child, a classmate of your child), and alcohol and vaping had taken place at this party which was actively condoned by the TA, how would you feel? Is this appropriate conduct for a TA?

So please follow this through.....hypothetically.....

A teacher (same, if not more stringent professional standards) cannot let even the tiniest bit of alcohol pass the lips of any teenager in her house. Ever. Ever. Because...that is....a safeguarding issue?
A teacher (male or female) - cannot hold a party for his or her DC where there are underage children - unless the only alcohol is drunk secretly? It cannot be in anyway done openly (safely).

Cannot some sensible judgement be used here? "Yes DC, you can have a party, but only 3 bottles of lambrini and a few cans of strongbow. Nothing else and as long as everyone's parents are OK with it. And I will stop things if anyone gets drunk." This is my approach - regardless of my profession. Why can this not stand for people who, albeit work in education, also have children/life/homes/lifeoutside work?

That to me indicates the said party with "permissive" drinking is far, far more likely to be a safe environment than the secret drinking and vodka in water bottles. Teenager hiding that Heidi is vomiting behind the shed because you weren't supposed to be drinking.

If the other parents were aware, I really cannot see an issue? Did someone at this hypothetical party get alcohol poisoning? Seriously ill? Were parents unaware totally naive that alcohol would be there? Why are you asking?

It actually happened. I'm not saying my child was involved or not - I haven't confirmed that either way. But yes, it happened. And yes, I'm concerned.

😂 because my child wasn't invited. Thank you for that laugh.

No, trust me when I say I do not have the time or inclination to stoop to that level of pettiness.

I am concerned and I have my reasons. I don't need to explain who I am or how I'm connected to the story. That's irrelevant. The question I've asked is answerable without that being divulged.

No, a teacher can't supply alcohol to other people's children.

That's obvious.

I would be concerned - I think it is inappropriate. Not what the kids were doing, but the fact that the TA was providing the booze and watching spin the bottle-esque games.

She's either beyond thick putting herself in that position... Or there's a more sinister aspect. Do you want to gather gossip on drunk students? Or do you want to watch drunk minors get up to whatever they were doing? Either way... No Bueno.

I work in a school and am a bit conflicted. This is one of the many reasons I would never work at my child's school.

I think the party/booze was fine as she was in her mum role not her TA role. Turning a blind eye to the booze is fair enough but supplying it to children she is in class with does seem a step too far

This.

Loads of teachers at the school I used to work I taught their children. It wasn’t even a particularly small school.

YABU. Leave the poor woman be.

How do you know the level of detail of what went on at the party?

Gosh OP you sound just like a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma! I'd definitely agree that articulating those concerns here is a good approach, keep us posted!

Yes, and do you have any footage you could share?

Are you the TA, OP?

Would you expect parents who allowed this in their house to lose their jobs too? People on this site want to hold anyone in their child's school to higher standards than they apply to others, including themselves. The parent was present for the party and made sensible decisions to minimise the chaos that Year 11 students produce.

Some jobs are different. It is what you sign up for when you take the job. Teachers have safeguarding duties beyond that of many regular jobs. Lawyers have legal restrictions beyond that of many regular jobs. Police officers have restrictions too.

I would expect a teacher or teaching assistant to not supply alcohol to minors. It is not a restriction on their life.

Gosh OP you sound just like a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma!

😂 thank you.

@MidnightOnceMore totally agree with you.

These parties will happen but she is in a position of responsibility. I can't imagine the school thinking this is ok at all.

This wouldn't bother me. I would expect there to be alcohol and vaping at a party for a year 11 and atleast there was an adult present.

No

Oh dear!
What sounds sensible is making sure there isn’t any alcohol in the first place. They’re children FFS!

I also don't like the normalisation of teens drinking and vaping, "oh, they'll do it anyway".
My own parents were of this opinion and as an adult I can see how harmful it was, to the point where my parent facilitated my drinking, smoking and having sex much much earlier than I could have been. I understand that's abusive and other people aren't that extreme, but I'm just providing insight as to why I don't like that style of parenting.

😂 because my child wasn't invited. Thank you for that laugh

No, trust me when I say I do not have the time or inclination to stoop to that level of pettiness

I am concerned and I have my reasons. I don't need to explain who I am or how I'm connected to the story. That's irrelevant. The question I've asked is answerable without that being divulged

You're very welcome. Glad to be of service 🤣 As i said if you wont (very bizzarely) say why it matters then people may ask questions to try and determine why you are so interested.

No, It is not in any way "bizarre" to want to remain anonymous, on an anonymous forum .... 🙈😂

It’s clearly inappropriate, at best. Illegal at worst. What’s the outcome OP? Have you reported her to the school?