Is this appropriate for a teaching assistant?

[loiss85]

If you found out that your 15/16 year old child (in Year 11) had been to a birthday party at the home of their class teaching assistant (the party being for the TA's child, a classmate of your child), and alcohol and vaping had taken place at this party which was actively condoned by the TA, how would you feel? Is this appropriate conduct for a TA?

@whatsappdoc

You assume wrong, on many counts.

You did imply that describing a situation where "your child" "was at" a party at the home of "their" class TA....that's what that means
If it wasn't actually your child then it's nothing to do with you.

Fucking hell. I cannot believe you actually typed that out!

I'd expect some light beers or alcopops for 16yo party. I wouldn't expect party host parent to police kids vaping.

@Mumof2teens79

Do you understand what a hypothetical scenario is? And how looks when it's presented in written form? I implied nothing. I asked a hypothetical question.

I have the opposite opinion. I think it far more responsible of her to supply the alcohol (therefore controlling what is on offer) and be there to monitor the situation. The alternative is not knowing what they are drinking/them sneaking out and quaffing stuff on the QT. They will drink. More sensible and "professional" to keep control on it.

Wow

The TA has exercised extremely poor judgement. I’d bring it to the attention of the DSL in school.

The blurring of boundaries occurred when she start being a TA in the same class/year group.
At that point any issues around behaviour in front of pupils outside school becomes impossible to police, or control.

It would be best to avoid as far as possible,if that cannot be done then you have to accept some blurring of lines, or just accept that once she leaves school she is a parent.

Do you feel your child was harmed by the fact that they drank alcohol in the presence of their TA? I am not trying to be snippy, just genuinely to understand what the root of your outrage is.

I can understand you being upset that your child drank alcohol, though it's likely to happen if they are 15/16 and attending parties. I hate alcohol and it's potential risks and would love to convince my daughter never to drink it. But I don't see how I can - so instead I am trying to teach her to do so safely and in moderation, when the time comes.

But you seem ok with that - sort of anyway - just really angry that it was provided by the TA.

What additional harm do you feel this did? Do you think it was somehow a condoning of alcohol use that will have an impact on how your daughter sees it in the future? But I imagine she has seen other trusted adults in a position of responsibility consume alcohol - because most people in our society do drink.

The TA has been silly because she can probably lose her job for this. But before you report her, just be really clear on what it is that is making you so angry, and if you are actually being fair.

It does not seem to me that this woman has actually harmed your child. Yet your actions may harm her and her family very severely. Think carefully whether they deserve this before you act, please.

What the actual fuck!

And I hope you aren't a real person, because if you are you are extremely stupid and disgusting.

Wow, what a snob you are. Does the same apply for health care assistants, porters, cleaners, carers etc and other essential low paid jobs?

Get your head out of your arse.

Yes
This is not it
Your OP could at a stretch be hypothetical but then you go on to describe in detail what happened (past tense) and her partner (present tense) so I am assuming it genuinely happened...although I think you are mixing up allowing, condoning and actively encouraging/participating...but if its not your child and their TA, nothing to do with you.

But it is a serious safeguarding issue when it's somebody who is employed in the school.

A male teacher giving teenagers alcohol in his home because they were there with his daughter, for example, would be at the least suspended pending investigation.

@Mumof2teens7

I'm not the one mixing things up here.

Yes, it genuinely happened. I mean hypothetical in the sense of, objectively, what do people think of this scenario. Your comment was that I "implied my own child was there" by using the terminology "if your child was....". My response to that is, no, I didn't imply anything - it's a hypothetical 'what do you think of this situation', which yes, did actually happen. But again, that's doesn't mean my child was present.

I am also not mixing up condoning and actively encouraging. She did both these things. She condoned drinking by allowing it in her home and not challenging it, and she encouraged it by pouring drinks herself. It can be both of these simultaneously.

You need to report it to the school's Designated Safeguarding Lead and to the LADO at the Local Authority. It sounds entirely inappropriate and they will liaise with each other to ensure it is properly investigated.

@NeverDropYourMooncup

That's a good point. I do wonder what the responses would have been for a male TA / Dad in this situation.

And after you have reported it as I have outlined, please don't talk about it or make judgements- that is not your role. It sounds inappropriate- report it and allow the right people to investigate and decide.

So are you the TA and someone is thinking of reporting you?

I find it strange how people assume my child was there and is in the TA's class. I could be anyone here - a neighbour, a work colleague of the TA, a family member of the TA... anyone really who is questioning how appropriate this is. It doesn't make a difference to the question who I am or why I am concerned. Whats relevant is the scenario itself and whether people would equally find it concerning or not.

I'd be pretty annoyed and think this person was very foolish to mix work and home in this way.

This is a huge safeguarding issue for her job. If anything went wrong there would absolutely be an investigation.
She is foolish.

It sounds like you are looking to cause trouble for said TA as im not quite sure why you wouldn't just say how you are related to the story.
Of course people are going to try to piece the story together if you dont give the information.
Was your child not invited to the party so you want to cause trouble?

Did this actually happen or are you just asking hypothetically?