That MIL has bought DS an expensive Thomas the tank Train set after I told her we didn't want it?

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

She has wanted to buy him one for a while. I told her we would prefer Brio, or even a cheaper one that isn't branded.
This morning I got a delivery of a full train set and various trains and accesories.
He is delighted of course, and loves it but I am angry she has spent too much money and gone against our expressed wishes.

Am I just ungrateful?

ninedragons it is impossible to avoid Disney

dh tried it with pfb

Do you think there could have been a genuine misunderstanding about what you meant by branded, TDWP?
And, I guess, only you know your MIL, so only you know whether there is an element of passive-aggressiveness in her sending you the set after you had a discussion about the matter. I do know people who are capable of making a seemingly lavish gift into a subtly hostile and undermining gesture - but I know more grannies who just do not think before acting.
At the end of the day your ds has a toy which actually, he will outgrow quite quickly, but which he loves for now. And in your place I would still go ahead with your plans for Brio. It has more staying power than the Thomas characters IME. My two are no longer remotely interested in the wooden Thomas locos in our Brio stash, they just like the wooden track layouts and accessories.
Whatever the motives for your MIL's gift, it will only spoil your project to build a Brio collection for ds up, if you let it

do you exercise your "well expressed reasons" with everyone or just MIL

what will you do when son becomes brand conscious (as he inevitably will) and wants
gap nike Mcdonalds*

is it a Thomas road and rail set?

why will he outgrow it sooner than Brio?

you can get massive amounts of extra bits for that (not £££ - I have looked at this for dd2)

and I had a reception class lad round here last week going insane over my Thomas set and snaking it all around the floor

I think it is possible to avoid buring branded things. They enjoyed watching fining nemo but I didn't rush out to buy them plates with fishon them.

Most of our toys are from Habitat or Muji, or the ELC wooden range, (and some of their platic things), they are very educational and don't at all try to 'sell' an ideal or image to them that is based on making money for a big corporation.

IME the whole Thomas thing (subservience to the Fat Controller, bickering little engines) is done and dusted before the age of five. Wooden train set stuff (not nec. Brio itself, the ELC locos for example) is still played with at family gatherings by all shapes and sizes

Sorry for the typing mistakes.

Scottishmummy - when my kids become 'brand concious' I will tell them to get a paper round if they want gap and nike. I hate this idea that parents HAVE to give in to pressure from advertising.

I don't think you can call Thomas "faddy"! He's been around, and loved, for over sixty years!

Message withdrawn

I agree beaniesteve. I have two dds aged 10 and 9 and they are not at all into brands. They know what they are, and shun them for the unbranded, better quality stuff that we get as an alternative. Have I brainwashed them? It's entirely possible. However they are very intelligent girls who are exposed to the normal peer pressures at school, yet never moan about not having the latest "stuff".

I'm with you on the Thomas stuff, DWP, you didn't want it for the very same reasons I didn't.

(and Capp why is it impossible to avoid Disney? Apart from watching the films, we have no Disney-related stuff)

• and the "Take-along" stuff is reasonably priced. YAB sooo U!

I think YABU

A gift is from the giver and it's what they want to give, that's the whole point; you are not in a position to dictate what that gift is.

OK, you expressed a dislike of a certain type of toy; you have the right not to buy it for your ds. Your MIL has a seperate relationship with your child that is unique to them, and he will have other experiences with her etc which are not completely in your control

I think you are being very, very controlling

Miaou precisely because people buy you stuff

and because it is rude to complain about a pair of pyjamas with Piglet on because there are worse things going on in the world

jangly, faddy as in kids may love it for a year or two then decide they hate it. Very feasible?

im not talking about parents caving in under capitalist oligopoly pressure.i am alluding to burgeoning independence and autonomy. making choices you might not necessarily get

I am with Honoria

if she had bought a toy he had no interest in at all then fair enough

but she has bought something he loves and you can't be happy for him

Cappucino there are, but can you say you never complain about arbitrary things?

Or would you never drink water in empathy with those who have no access to clean water?

I think that people are overreacting slightly to idea of Thomas 'branding'.

Thomas the tank engine is a story about trains. The trainsets are a natural extension of the stories. Kids love Thomas, and like having the character trains.

If trainsets were being branded with 'Dora' or 'Scooby Doo' or 'McDonalds', I could see the point that it was a big marketing to ploy squeeze cash out of parents.

But Thomas is about trains so what's wrong with a Thomas trainset?

Kids love ALL toys for a year or two (if you're lucky) then lose interest

it's part of developing and growing up!

eh?

eh?

Nah! Not feasible at all. If he does tire of it, and stays tired of it, give it to the next little'un in the family. You didn't fork out for it, did you?

As you have only recently had a conversation in which you stated that you didn't want it I would take it over to her house the next time he visits and say that you have decided to leave it there for him to play with.

Then go out and buy what you want.

YANBU - she has done it on purpose.

You will have to replace the train set though your your DS will be gutted.....

scottishmumy that last message read like an essay sentence from a gcse student who has no idea what they are talking about and so used a thesaurus to put impressive big words in it.