To be sad that no one would help

[Parpadew]

Emergency last night and I needed someone to drive a forty minute round trip. That's all. Never asked for this or any favour really before. I offered to pay. No one would help. Not my mum, siblings. One friend would have but she's on holiday. Got a taxi in the end but it was sheer luck one turned up as it's not a well covered part of the country.

Feel really alone right now!

Yes you missed huge amounts

I'm really shocked that no-one was willing to help out. I don't suppose I would be overjoyed at having to stop whatever I was doing to go out for an hour or so late at night unexpectedly, but I can't imagine the circumstances when I wouldn't hell out a family member or friend.

🤦‍♀️ my bad!

It took 5 hours for a taxi to be available for those people, hard of understanding.

TBH @Parpadew I'd be concerned about being in a relationship with an adult man who appears to be unable to look after himself when the unexpected occurs.

As PPs say, he should have a back-up plan to recharge his phone (done before setting off), the weather forecast was awful, so he should have planned ahead (ie charge phone fully, wear warm clothes.

It's not clear if he was the only one on the station (you or another poster mentioned 200 people on the platform...)

But he has a voice and presumably could have asked other people about taxis, lifts, how best to get to the city.

You appear to be 'mothering him'.

This was a very misleading post, reading your updates.

You, a woman, were not the person who got stranded in the dark. Your boyfriend, a man, was.

You took it upon yourself because of his "debilitating anxiety" to ring round and then spent 5 hours trying to find a taxi for him? All while not being there yourself. How can you find that attractive in a partner?

Presumably they said no because you asked them, instead of him.

Actually I’m enjoying this thread, purely to watch the idiots come out in force. It’s actually quite funny each time someone pops up with such gems as “I’d just call a taxi”.

Op, yanbu to be disappointed that your family won’t help out for a one-off favour when you don’t normally ask anything of them.

I have to get trains to rural west York's quite frequently and they have failed to reach the station I am ticketed for 9 of the last 15 times. Now, if DH isn't around to get me I drive to the outskirts of London and then get the tube in, it's not worth the high risk of being stranded in Brighouse at 9pm.
I feel for you op. When I find out how little regard people have for me they are deranked into the acquaintance category. Even my db, it's the only way I stop myself becoming resentful

Agree with this

@Parpadew I’d be hurt too in your situation. Unless they had genuine reasons for not being able to they sound quite selfish for not helping.

You still haven't addressed any of these points.
I think it's hugely important to know what your family said and the reasons they gave you and why he didn't contact his own family and friends first, or cadge a lift with one of the many others stranded at the station.

I think it’s because most people would help family or friends that people are asking for the details - what time was it? How long did OP wait before trying for a taxi? Does the partner have friends or family in the area? Etc etc.
OP refusing to answer these very simple questions then suggests that if she did people might understand her family’s reaction a little better.

Could you answer ONE question OP?

How many other people were on the train and were also on the platform? Roughly. 10? 20? 50?

What did they do to get home?

You see if that was me, and not your DP, I'd have asked (kindly) someone else if they'd help me because my partner wasn't able to come (no car) .
Or ask them if they knew good local taxi firms.

Because as this was an unexpected station stop, no one would have their own cars in the car park there. So they'd all have to get a taxi or someone to collect them.

Usually, other people are only too happy to share a taxi (halves the fare) or some kind souls will offer a lift if someone is picking them up.

But OP you couldn’t help - you wanted other people to help him.

if my sister rang and said my BIL needed a lift I would go straight away. As would my elderly parents. But my sister wouldn’t ask my elderly parents - and I know she would only ask me in an emergency.

You wanted to save the day - but you couldn’t. You have assumed that because your family wouldn’t collect this man I. What was an inconvenience rather than an emergency that they won’t be there for you as you age: that is a huge leap.

There is probably more to this story in any case - how often do you ask them to rescue your other half, does he reciprocate, does he not have a network of his own etc etc.

all still unanswered.

The point is way over that way @Imagwine

Yes, most people would help out their family.
But in this case - the family of the 'stranded' weren't asked.

My DH’s sister doesn’t drive. She says she is going to take her test but never does

She’s always asking for lifts.

Everyone is fed up of it. She just needs to sit her test if she wants to have the availability of the use of a car.

OP lives in a city and couldn't get a taxi for 5 hours? seems all very dramatic.

I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Give them the same treatment when they want help!
You certainly know who real friends are in emergencies, as I've found out over the years!

I've broken my ankle and my mum did not help not for one minute, nor any friends or family I never ask but on that occasion did and nobody helped not even my husband 🤣 life's a bitch school runs with broken ankle 🤣🤣 remember you live and learn and when they need you maybe you will decide on who's actually important in your life ... which is basically you and your children

For my kids (two adults and one young one) i would always go and get them, even a friend i see it as more of a pain but I'd still do it.

I guess you know who you can and can't rely on now 😢

Yeah, if my sister's partner was stuck at a train station and I was 20 minutes away with a warm car at my disposal, I'd go and pick him up no question.

Obviously, if he could get a taxi or bus easily enough, I'd expect him to do that but, since those options were not available for a long time then I wouldn't hesitate.

I find it bizarre that anyone would cheerfully leave someone stuck somewhere when they could help. Even if he's unlikely to suffer any lasting harm, it's still a shit situation to be in.

OP, I would definitely be reconsidering any help that's asked of you in future.

What was their excuse this time? Last two times I’ve travelled on LNER I’ve been stranded in London due to people stealing the signalling cable! Seems to be a regular thing.

Some of you posters sound really quite dim. What is there not to understand about OP's situation? Her partner was stranded at a train station in a small village where there are no taxis or buses working, its a rural place and i expect the long walk isn't an option at night with the lack of lighting and pavements. The partner obviously could not get a taxi or I expect that be the first thing they would have done.

Of course her family should have helped if they could, and its a real shame they didn't. I'm sorry OP, perhaps think about how helpful and available you are to family going forward.

I've already acknowledged that it's too far to walk, so not sure why you're mentioning that in response to my post.

And yes, small stations 20 mins outside Portsmouth or Guildford etc might not have taxis on demand or the signal might be weak etc, but the OP was in a city and knew where her partner was. Are there really cities in the UK which don't have any taxis?

It really depends on the location, in my rural area, it's virtually impossible to get a taxi and there's no ride shares or Ubers at all