To be sad that no one would help

[Parpadew]

Emergency last night and I needed someone to drive a forty minute round trip. That's all. Never asked for this or any favour really before. I offered to pay. No one would help. Not my mum, siblings. One friend would have but she's on holiday. Got a taxi in the end but it was sheer luck one turned up as it's not a well covered part of the country.

Feel really alone right now!

@CharlotteBog
It's in the OPs posts. Why not read them?

Why are people acting like OP was asking her family to drive to the moon?

I originally read the thread as OP being stranded and her sister and family refusing to drive 20mins to help. That sounded very unreasonable.

However through all the obtuse drip feeding, it sounds like someone OP knows (a partner? boyfriend?) was stranded and she wanted family members to pick them up. Less unreasonable because we have no idea what the dynamics are.

Since OP is not forthcoming with any information, these are just some potential speculations:

Family might not approve of the partner and they know similar situations have happened before where OP needs to cater to his every whim. There are women who put their partner's needs above everyone else's and you can imagine getting a phone call at night asking you to be a taxi service to a boyfriend you may not even know.

Partner might be abusive or coercive and OP needed to "fix" the situation for him to prevent escalation.

Saying that a relationship with a sister is forever damaged because she didn't want to pick a partner up from the station is quite extreme. There must be lots more at stake that OP has not revealed.

It's pure coincidence that there were family members living in the vicinity. If the situation happened somewhere else then the partner would simply have to sleep in the station. Just like a missed flight. Such things happen to adults and is not the end of the world.

Note the usage of "partner" not husband which the family might know better. Nobody knows how well the family members in question know this man, or how many partners OP has had within context. If it's just the latest Tinder date then nobody should feel obliged to give him a lift from the station.

@Parpadew I think this thread strikes a chord with so many women. WHY is it up to you or a female member of your family to help a grown man get home?. You haven't answered numerous questions about why your partner did not request help from his own family and friends, or, if he did, why they refused??

OP, it's really not the "standard now". I absolutely would have gone to collect you if you were my family member or friend and I know people would do the same for me. A 40 minute round trip is nothing.

Don't be made to feel this is 'normal' behaviour, it's not, it's selfish and not how caring family / friends behave.

Next time you are asked for a favour make sure you are 'busy' or just 'not in the mood'.

Its shit of them OP. I get it. My 13 year old was stuck on a broken down train last night for four hours (with a whole bunch of other schoolkids so not alone fortunately). He was only a few miles away from destination, but because the train was in the middle of nowhere they couldn't let them off, so they had to wait for a rescue train.

It was absolute chaos on that line and all the taxis and buses were being hired by the train companies to try and get people where they needed to be , but many people were stranded in various places with no transport to get them home and no the train companies don't offer hotels.

I know that if I'd asked on fb or elsewhere, someone would have gone to pick him up (if that were possible) - not just family, but friends. So yes, it is shit.

I don’t understand why a taxi couldn’t have been called from the city OP is in to collect stranded passenger from the rural location a 20 minute drive away.

@skyfalldown "Why are people acting like OP was asking her family to drive to the moon?"

Because that is how all Mumsnet threads about lifts go. It's the weirdest thing.

I certainly wouldn't expect my mother to turn out at night in the middle of a storm to pick my fully grown husband up, no. I've been stranded at stations god knows how many times in my life and several times had to hunker down as best I could until morning. With your siblings it depends if you are always doing them favours, otherwise I wouldn't expect that sort of help unless it was for a stranded child/teenager, a trip to A &E or an emergency vets.

Yup!

Easy for the, ‘I don’t have a car but if I did’ brigade to come and promise the world!

Has the OP come back and explained why none of the boyfriend’s friends or family could help or what time this was? Was he waiting in a station car park or inside?

40 min round trip!?

Get them to get a taxi/Uber for 20 mins - much easier and doesn’t need to involve everybody.

or they could ask one of their familly/ friends etc. Why does this fall on you to ‘get them home’!?

I'd love to know what everyone else on the train was doing - passengers and staff. Where were they? The thread reads like OP's husband is all alone in this tiny station in the middle of nowhere.

This is such a good point.

And says such a lot females and males in 2023.

Man needs help. Phones female friend to sort it out. Sits back.
Female rushes around in a panic trying to get him help from everyone she knows - and then female is cross with another female to the point of going no contact because she couldn't please the male.

Where are your boyfriends male friends in all this op? Did he even contact them?

Or just female responsibility to fix?

So the emergency seems to be that a grown man was stuck at a station between two towns. Rather than wait a long while for a taxi, which despite what many posters are saying, was clearly eventually available, as the OP sent one in the end, he expected the OP to phone round friends and family to do a double journey to pick him up and then get back to their own home.

It may be that as the weather was dreadful, which may have contributed to the problems getting a taxi immediately, they declined. Although apparently it was 5 hours until the taxi arrived, the op doesn't make it clear how long it was after she called until the taxi arrived. I have occasionally had to wait over an hour for a taxi even in central London in bad weather. The unusually bad weather was all over the news, so it can hardly have come as a shock to the poor stranded person that a) there might be a wait for a taxi and b) a lot of people would be reluctant to turn out.

If the stranded person had taken the weather warnings into account and travelled earlier, stayed over where he originally was, or didn't travel at all, the whole problem would have been avoided. Maybe the help-refusers were aware of those possibilities which informed their decisions. Who knows?

You are being a bit opaque OP, so it is hard to know.

Could he have got a taxi where he is, was there a hotel or BnB etc?

It’s not clear

Very true plus also people were told not to travel due to the conditions.
It's not rocket science to read the weather reports saying risk to life, do not travel.

So Ops BF does and gets stuck.
No I wouldn't be driving out in awful conditions because he's an idiot.

Also it's really grating that Op is getting snotty that she expects dsis to do something ie drive when she doesnt.
You make your choices...

In the OPs posts. If you look at any OPs posts, there's an option to "see all"". Press that and it'll take you away from the thread so you see all OPs posts.

So wait, you live in a city (with your partner?) and he was stranded between cities in the middle of nowhere. If you were currently in the city and don't own a car, why didn't you just get a taxi/Uber from the city to do a round trip to get him? That would've been my first instinct rather than calling people to help

I had similar on the day of my mams funeral... my childcare for my young children fell through last minute and so I messaged all my friends to ask if someone could get have the children for an hour.. no one would and most never even replied. The morning of my mothers funeral.

People often say they'll be there but very few actually are.

yes this is also a really good point, why didn't he call his own parents/friends/siblings? Why is it down to you to sort his problems out? I'm with others saying this isn't an emergency I'm afraid. Also, if you say 'thousands of people' were stranded on the east coast mainline, were there other people stuck at this station with him? Could a few of them not have clubbed together to get a taxi or find a driver?

That's not the same at all though. That really was an emergency and a terrible situation for you.

This is a grown man having to wait a bit for his girlfriend to get him a taxi.

I'm sorry for the loss of your mum.

I wouldn’t really call that an emergency that rises to the level of calling in family/friends - I’d say that is something for you to sort out with your partner via a taxi as you did. I was imagining you or a loved one needing to go hospital. The only way them helping would have changed this is by saving you money - that’s not an emergency.

OP is being cryptic for good reason and making a lot of drama out of nothing.

They all apparently live in a city. So all this arguing about living rural is pointless.

Her partner (husband? 1 month boyfriend? fuck buddy?) got stuck at a station a few stops before the city.

This whole ass man apparently could not get himself home. Has he no friends or family? If the entire train broke down and was heading for a city surely multiple people were stuck and he could have asked any of them for a ride or to share a taxi.

It was "last night". What time is that? Eight? Ten? one at night?

I don't see the emergency and I don't see why suddenly the relationship with the sister is permanently damaged.

Considering how hard it is to get any details from OP and how dramatic everything is painted I have to wonder if OP is really sure that they don't ask anything ever.

Thank you @BlurredEdges 💕

I haven't fully finished reading the thread but reading that definitely gives a different context!

Perhaps his family & friends are too far away?

My first thing would be to try to muck in with other passengers I think.

Terrible that there were no buses to get them to the next city station where there would have been buses & taxis if no trains.