To think class rep is being homophobic?

[fuckedoffandworried]

DC has just started school. Another child in the class has two mums, I’ll call them A and B. We have a class rep who volunteered earlier in the term and collected contact numbers for the other class parents for a WhatsApp group, which is mostly the mums but a few dads too. A and B both do the school run, it’s probably A most days but B is there at least once a week. A and B are both in the WhatsApp group and both reply to messages pretty equally. The class rep is organising two social events and posted about them in the WhatsApp group last week. One for the mums and one for the dads. Most of the dads aren’t in the WhatsApp group, so the class rep asked in there for mums to send over contact numbers for their partners or kids dads so that the dads evening could be organised. A few of the kids in DCs class have divorced parents, so I think the idea is so both parents can be involved with other class parents. The class rep has made a separate WhatsApp group for the mums event and her DH has made one for the dads. They put A in the mums group for the mums event and B in the dads group for the dads event.

B asked if this was a mistake in the main WhatsApp group, and the class rep has come back saying that it’s not a mistake, it’s because she and some of the other mums have agreed it wouldn’t be fair for her and A to both come to the mums event. Most of the mums don’t know each other very well, and they want everyone to be in the same boat and mix with each other. They’re saying no bringing your partner to either the mums or the dads event, so A can’t bring B. The class rep has said she’s put A in the mums group and B in the dads group because she thought B would fit in better with the dads than A. A and B have both said they won’t be going.

AIBU to think this is homophobia and let the class teacher know?

This really is awful and you should definitely call this organiser out in the group, but it’s nothing to do with the class teacher so don’t involve them.

I’m not in the least surprised.

We’ve been asked if we hope our son is gay.

My mum is always asking if he is/will be gay (he has 3 gay parents). He’s 9 now but she has been doing it for years.

We also get asked if he is trans (none of us are, but clearly it lives in the same place as being gay in a lot of peoples heads).

We’ve also been asked who his ‘real’ mum is,

and the exact nature of who got pregnant and In what way (and then how exactly did that work) a lot of times.

what he calls us is a popular one

my wife get’s asked did she not want her own children (because I gave birth)

she is told she will regret not having a baby (because clearly the baby we created and who’s birth certificate she is on and to whom she has been an equal parent all it’s life is not her baby)

because she is butch and I’m femme, and she works and I stay at home everyone thinks of her as the dad- men presume she has their view on everything, and my straight female friends and family always lump her in with their blokes and say ‘well, she is like a man really’ or ‘men are all like that… well, you know what I mean’.

Ouch you take offence easily. Coven also means clique. Which perfectly makes sense in this context.

That’s shocking

If, as in this case, you had appointed the class rep, that wouldn't realistically be a course open to you.

Ah an apologist. Blaming the person who has taken offence..double standards much. It’s clear from the posters response what she meant!

Do you defend racism, sexism and homophobia in similar ways?

Thank you @Tinysoxxx
That was the definition I meant, so I googled it and found the two definitions below. It was not my intention to offend.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/coven

I'm horrified at what people are saying to you @Ivegone. A family member is in a same sex marriage. The wedding was quite recent, and such a happy occasion. I'm so happy that my family aren't homophobic bigots.

That demonstrates that this decision is all about homophobia, no matter how much the rep dresses it up as something else. She really needs to be stopped.

And that is five paragraphs going the long way round to telling us you haven't read the OP's posts. It is clear from everything the rep has said that this is her decision, not that of anyone else. Even if your implausible scenario were true, the obvious response would be to go back to whoever gave the orders that if they were not going to allow gay couples to be together on in one group then the inevitable result would be that they would have to discriminate against one or both, and that would be unlawful.

If there was any doubt whatsoever about the rep's homophobia, A's account of her conduct puts it to rest.

This is rubbish, seriously inappropriate. Raise with the class teacher and potentially the head as well. Class rep is bang out of order and is bringing the school’s reputation down.

Triple ouch. No I do not defend any of those.

ok, for the purposes of this post I am putting the story in terms of calling the women witches and the men wizards. Two categories. When a witch and a wizard love each other very much (!) a baby witch or wizard is born. They often bring up the baby witches and wizards together. But in this case two witches are bringing up the baby witch or baby wizard. The head witch decides to have two parties - one for witches and one for wizards. But she has decided one witch is banned and has to go to the wizards party. The other witches complain but she stands firm as she says you can’t have two witches bringing up a child, one must be a designated wizard by default.

Can you see how putting into these random categories it is blatant that the head witch is the one in the wrong?

Also apologies to any witches out there - don’t know any in real life but I would like to think you would humour this analogy.

p.s. Also I know @RampantIvy from old, she is the loveliest person and was very kind to me (I have changed my name Ivy so don’t out me, if you can guess)!

A hell of a lot of drama here and you are way too invested in this OP.

How? She 's rightly raised it with the class rep, she's told A and B that she supports them. The only other thing she has done to raise it on here because she was uncertain about involving the school. How does that make her "way too invested"?

As a magic practitioner I am offended, you just keep rolling out stupid uninformed comments. “Head witch”, “baby witch” fucking hell, just keep rolling out the uninformed stereo types.

“I don’t mean to offend and witches”/“I’m not racist/homophobic but….”

OP hope it can all be worked out with minimum upset. What a horrible and unexpected situation. It has got to a point where school need to be involved. If A and B can face it, maybe a chat at school with the class rep and one of her friends and the teacher/head teacher so everyone can come to an understanding on how the class can move forward?

I don’t agree with@Maatandosiris who said ‘I don’t think the class rep meant anything by this’.

Breaking it down and substituting the words women and men for witch/wizard or red/blue, it can more objectively be seen that it was clearly meant as discrimination. Even if it was done out of ignorance (which I was giving her the benefit of doubt for) your updates mean she is sticking to her ‘beliefs‘ and seems to be excluding the parents based on their sexuality.

The thing is 99% of these people don’t mean to be homophobic or even rude- they are just curious or ignorant most of the time.

The problem comes when it’s the 1000th time and you try and point it out in a nice way, then people get offended and defensive and say you are far too sensitive/looking to be offended/creating drama/need to let it go (as they have on this thread!).

Our wedding was lovely, but my in laws refused to come.

What kind of skills one needs to have to become a magic practitioner?are they learned skills or gifts from powers outside this world ?

They can be and are a a mix of many things, both innate/inherited and some learned. It depends. Why?

Just out of interest. Thanks

When my DC were this age there wasn’t class ‘rep’ but if (as you say) that the teacher asks for a Rep to me this is an official school thing. In this case the couple should formally complain to the school but THEY have to do it.
Then in the meantime I would be showing my support by complaining to the rep face to face and in the WhatsApp- I am normally a low key person but this situation has got to be challenged - very sad that people think like this.
For those on this thread who experience(d) this I can only say sorry on behalf of the thick stupid people in this world and hope we can all stand up to this in the future.

Ah ok, my mistake, I thought you would have said in your original response that you meant something entirely different. But now you’ve googled someone else’s response and found out the alternative meaning that’s apparently what you meant all along. Well that great clarification 😀

I would
a) complain to school and use ‘homophobia’ in my complaint. I would do so in writing and mark it as an official complaint, stating that as this mum has been appointed by the class teacher that the teacher MEEDS to address this issue. All 4 mums who see the wrong in this could put in identical but individual complaints so that there are four complaints not just one!
b) set up a mums do to include the same sex couple so that the 4 of you and the 2 of them go out for a meal, play date with kids or whatever.
c) I would actually remove myself from that chat and have no more to do with such people, even the ones who ‘don’t want to get involved’ are morally wrong and not willing to stick up for the minority here! Will they all take the same stance when it’s a child being bullied/excluded!? Disgusting people! Try to form friendships with the only 4 decent mothers and the same sex couple.

I have a gay friend!… her school did Mother’s Day wrap rooms…. The children (twins) were only allowed to buy one present each for one mother each… they weren’t both allowed to buy both their mums a present! I found this disgusting! The other kids in school got to choose their mum a present each (multiple siblings etc)….
and obviously the twins were
completed excluded from Father’s Day wrap room.. they weren’t allowed to buy their mums another gift, or even a grand father etc …. I found it very strange of a school trying to raise funds!

And why is that funny. Why are you laughing at the lifestyle of thousands of people that has existed for millennia? Do you normally laugh at minority lifestyles? How very open minded of you! It’s almost as if you’re displaying prejudice!!!

Out of interest what is a magic practitioner ? Maybe the person laughing presumed this to be a typo and is
laughing at that. It does seem rather made up… I’m off to google it