SIL’s Restaurant Choice-not sure what to say/do?

[HamBone]

This is a very first-world dilemma, but I’d welcome opinions on how to handle this.

Thanksgiving is coming up here in the US and we’re having a family get-together with DH’s side. Yesterday, DH told me that one of his sister’s wants to arrange a meal out to a specialist restaurant that weekend and I’ve just taken a look at the menu. Its’s very limited and I can’t see a single item that I’d like to eat. DS won’t be keen either. We’re not fussy eaters at all, but there’s nothing available that we’d want to pay for. Plus, it’s not particularly cheap.

How should I approach this with SIL? I think that she wants to try this restaurant and likes the idea of arranging a family outing, but it’s daft to waste money on food people don’t want. Will we be party poopers if I gently say that it’s not to our tastes, but we’re happy for everyone else to go and we’ll see them later?

I feel bad about this though. ☹️

I don't believe you. If they were thats what you would have led with. Maybe just bow out of the thread now rather than backwards engineering it to fit a narrative that you're an unfussy eater and your SIL is mad.

@HamBone in the future we will all be probably living off insects so maybe use this as an opportunity to get used to them?

daft idea to have a family get together in such a 'unique' restaurant.... better to choose a crowd pleaser.

Have we really gone from 'seasoned' through 'beans and aubergines' to 'crickets and grasshoppers'?

Will we end up at 'monkey brains and spiders' eventually?

Hi, OP -

Actually I know several otherwise reasonable people who intensely dislike aubergine. I’d love to know why, as I’ve never wanted to probe in person.

I assume this meal is not the Thanksgiving dinner itself? That should be a meal everyone can love.

If this meal is at some later point in the weekend, YANBU to explain your position and DS’s in a low key way now, perhaps with the suggestion that you organise an alternative. But you need a good ear! SiL may really want to try this place, and it is only one meal. I think if others, including your DH, are enthusiastic about it, you and DS need to wave them off cheerfully before tucking in to the meal of your choice.

Just say to him I've looked at the menu, I don't think there's anything on there me or DS would eat. Would it be worth asking your sister to consider somewhere else or I could make excuses for me and DS.

I assume DS isn't his and you're fairly new to the family?

I've eaten them. My colleague's Mexican and he brings spicy dried ones back from Mexico whenever he goes home to see his family. The ones he likes are a sort of chilli and lime kind of flavour. They're nice enough but I'm told you can get crispier ones that are fried in oil with a smoked paprika kind of flavour, that you eat while they're still hot, and I think they'd probably be nicer.

Just don't go then... send DH and stay at home

Not complicated.

'AIBU to have fainted at a feast I attended with my new archeologist BF - they served monkey brains and baby snakes served inside a giant snake'

Quite.

If the food is insect based then it was really weird to use aubergine as a comparison... I think if it's that out there then it won't be that surprising to say you don't fancy trying it.

It's insects? Damn. Can I change my vote? 🙂

He's super hot though. And I'm a screamer so no one else will go out with me.

Would and have - can’t say I’d bother again but they were absolutely fine. If the menu is insect based (weird that you didn’t mention that at first) I can see why some people would be reluctant - but it’s always good to try new things!

Aubergines are amazing. They basically taste like whatever you cook them with so I can’t understand such a strong reaction against them, is it the texture?

For one meal I’d suck it up and just eat whatever is on the menu, you may find new flavours that you like. I absolutely hate cucumber, the smell is horrific to me and I can even tell if someone has used the same knife to cut a cucumber as the other vegetables - but I’ve eaten them to be polite in restaurants. I find it hard to believe that there’s nothing on this menu you can eat if you aren’t fussy - even if there were only two or three dishes a non fussy person would be able to find one they could stomach.

Is the restaurant really expensive and you object to paying lots for non-ideal food?

😄

Sorry everyone, I’ve led you up the garden path with my talk of aubergines. 😂

Yes, the menu is far more unusual than that. Crickets and grasshoppers really are on the menu, some items are less unusual, but definitely out of the ordinary.

Some members of DH’s family really will try anything, others won’t really want to, but they hate conflict so will keep quiet.

@SleepingStandingUp Nope, married over 20 years and the kids are definitely his. I’m genuinely surprised that SIL has suggested this place, tbh. I didn’t think she was one of the more adventurous eaters, but I guess she is.

Yes, they're just land prawns.

I don't know where you live though to be faced with a restaurant that serves crickets in aubergine.

.. there is no auberginre..

Come on OP - Please give us a sample of the menu?

The most "normal" dish?

Organising a meal out is a pain in the arse. You’ll never please everyone and if everyone gets a veto it will be a nightmare.

if you don’t want to go, that’s fine- but take over the organisation. Find somewhere else, which everyone will enjoy and that has space for you all. Don’t just tell her that that one is no good and she needs to find somewhere else

Cancel the aubergine!

I'd just tell her that you don't want to miss the football so are having Thanksgiving at home.

Bugs me that I did not ant-icipate this update.

Now we have the insects dish, please give us a couple more

The US is a very big place - no one is going to guess who you and your SIL are!

Meaning she outright lied in her earlier post. Or the later one where she claimed the menu was all insect based.

Nope. Not buying this. If you didn’t want to go to a restaurant serving insects you would definitely have said so in the OP and everyone would have been on your side, trying to find the best way to tackle the situation. No way would you make up a load of crap about aubergines 😂