To have been honest about my feelings re Christmas presents at work

[Icefoot]

We had a team meeting. I'm new to the business.

Someone asked what we should do about presents for each other and the wider staff. I said personally I wouldn't bother, it's all a bit of a nonsense, just passing round parcels of things no one wants. I'm not good at present buying and I don't care about presents for me, which makes me hard to give the emotional energy required to get my staff decent gifts. I'd rather buy people a drink after work, although appreciate that doesn't suit everyone either, but the offer's there.

I was asked and I gave an honest answer...

Secret Santa maybe with a slightly higher budget (we do £10 at work)

Your right, it's a complete waste of time and money.
Luckily where l work now we don't bother with gifts, we bring in nice treats to eat, that's it.

I can't see why you didn't just say, "What do you usually do?" I don't disagree with what you've said, but I do think you were way too blunt. You're new. Get to know the office culture first.

Optional of course.

I find it really embarrassing that grown adults demand presents from colleagues, but if the ones like that only involve themselves it's fine.

They were looking for a consensus, so that we all do the same. I think the person who asked was hoping it would be a no, I can read a room 🤣. It was more "do we really need to do this?" than "let's do this". We'll do chocs and biscuits etc in the last week anyway.

We always did secret Santa in my workplace. Last year myself and a college suggested doing a charity collection instead. People just put whatever into an envelope. Everyone was very happy with that

I don’t need a present but something like a small chocolate treat would be nice and show appreciation. It doesn’t need to be much, a chocolate orange or something like that would be great. It shows a bit of appreciation and whilst I could go and buy it myself easily it always feels more like a treat if it’s given to you (in my opinion at least)

When I worry about things like this I check myself by wondering if a man would be fretting about giving the same opinion. Usually it’s no!

Nah don’t need another gift set thanks 😁

When you say my staff, are you a manager op? Were there non managers there? We always get a gift from managers, and people can say it’s tat but over the years I’ve gotten lovely chocolates, a book voucher and other things that I was thrilled with. And as staff we’ve taken part in secret Santa and it’s been fun and actually once a guy who got something for a lady who it turned out didn’t keep in contact with her family and gushed about it FOR EVER! (He found her an annual she used to get as a child- he overheard us all talking about comics and got it online) Just putting forward the case from a person who appreciates these thing for the bit of atmosphere and buzz it creates in work, I get non Christmas people might not feel the same!!

Are they your team and you are in a leadership position?

Well, I suppose you were honest.

I'd probably have framed it a little differently - offered to put £X behind the bar at the Christmas drinks or treated them to a delivery on a day when everyone is in the office, for example, and suggested that they run a voluntary secret Santa for anyone who wants to participate.

Is it a secret Santa ? If it is something like this that they usually do , just say ' no thanks ' and don't put your name in the hat ( or however they draw out the names )
I've done this before , it was fine.

Something nice during work hours/over lunch is probably better. You could bring in a cake or something like that.

I agree and would appreciate your no nonsense delivery.

a much more tactful "pressie buying already stressful for me so I'll just stick to bringing in some communal chicks" would have been a bit softer tbf...

I'd love some communal chicks in my office!

I'm totally with you op, thankfully all this crap stopped in covid and hasn't reappeared.

Communal chicks would be heavenly. :)

^
They were looking for a consensus, so that we all do the same. I think the person who asked was hoping it would be a no, I can read a room.^

Well, there you go, Icefoot You're the heroine who's saved a roomful of cowards from a depressing fate!

I have the same attitude, but would have tried to have expressed myself slightly more diplomatically. But it's done now, don't be stressed!

There's already threads about people fighting hard to stop the present nonsense between adults within a family, which is bad enough, but at work?

YANBU
I bet at least 95% of the people there love you!

If someone wants to do presents at work, gift vouchers and Christmas bonuses from the business always go down well.

Oh ffs 🤣🤣🥰 CHOCS!!!

Oh wow, you are my personal hero.

I would not have dared to say anything like that if I was new. Having worked at many jobs and learnt the hard way, my policy is not to say anything negative at work. Yes, it is pussy footing but no one gets offended and I get to keep my head down and powder dry.

Plus now that I am manager, I have to watch what I say and building team morale and spirit is important. So it should be team led.

A ‘bring a Xmas dish’ from home for a in work get together isn’t unreasonable.

everyone bringing something like mince pies, twiglets, supplies for hot chocolate or alcohol free mulled wine/festive punch.

id much prefer this in the last half day before Xmas break than an evening Xmas party.

Ignore my last post I didn't read yours properly 😩

I don't disagree, but as a new person sometimes you need to hang back till you've worked out the lie of the land

I don't disagree, but as a new person sometimes you need to hang back till you've worked out the lie of the land