Page 17 | To be envious that Victoria Coren Mitchell has a second baby at 51

Monetm · 2023-11-01T21:57:00+00:00

[[https://www.ok.co.uk/tv/breaking-victoria-coren-mitchell-baby-31338022.amp https://www.ok.co.uk/tv/breaking-victoria-coren-mitchell-baby-31338022.amp]] Just that, really. I’m sure there will be a lot of posts on here about it’s too old and she should have done it sooner, but given that she didn’t, I am envious that she has the money and the luck and the situation to be able to do it now. Can you imagine how different women’s lives would be if we just didn’t have to worry so much about the end of our fertility?

SurprisedWithAHorse · 02/11/2023 10:16

VanityDiesHard · 02/11/2023 10:09

I think it is very selfish to have kids at that age. I don't envy her, I judge her.

I hear she's crying all the way to her next book deal.

GettingStuffed · 02/11/2023 10:18

I had grandchildren before I was 51. It is hard work looking after children in your 50s but it's also great fun. I'm sure they earn enough to pay a nanny if it becomes too much

user14699084664 · 02/11/2023 10:19

My parents were older, particularly for the 1970’s. I’m an only child, both were dead before I was 24. They were wealthy, but i can assure you inheritance does in no way make up for it!
I only had one living grandparent who died when i was 3 i think…don’t really remember them. And of course, my children had no grandparents at all.

Due to my experience we had all our kids before i was 30, and I’m glad we did - DH is now in “snipers alley” and he’s gone from full fitness in his 40’s to two chronic health conditions by 55…while it is true we can die at any age, the older you get the worse your odds! We do our children a disservice pretending you can wait till you’re 40 odd to start a family.

KimberleyClark · 02/11/2023 10:19

SleepingStandingUp · 02/11/2023 10:11

Why will they be expected to care for their parents? If we assume care needs from 70ish, girls will be 21 and 30ish. Do you honestly think with their combined family income and David's very sensible brain that they won't have thought through buying in care so their kids - barely put of uni and possibly starting her own family, aren't forced to do it? Or do you think they'll ban June from going to Uni and keep her locked away at home to be their Cinderella?

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Like I said before, having old parents needing care is a mental load whether or not you are physically doing the caring. You don’t just get carers in/put them in a home and forget about them.

nomoretoriesforme · 02/11/2023 10:21

I am envious. Well done her.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 02/11/2023 10:22

Christ, the thought of having a 6 year old at my age just does my head in.

Berylswain · 02/11/2023 10:25

I'm a tiny bit envious of all the women who even found men who were decent and actually wanted kids. I can't even find a good man and I'm 41, very healthy and fit and want kids one day but the time is ticking and men just wasted my time up to this point in life. Great to see older women like me being able to have kids...maybe there is hope for me still

SurprisedWithAHorse · 02/11/2023 10:27

KimberleyClark · 02/11/2023 10:19

Like I said before, having old parents needing care is a mental load whether or not you are physically doing the caring. You don’t just get carers in/put them in a home and forget about them.

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Having parents in general is a mental load.

Reugny · 02/11/2023 10:29

KingsleyBorder · 02/11/2023 10:04

I had IVF at 42 and we didn’t have any embryos left over to freeze. I never really thought much about it at the time, we were so delighted that one had stuck. But over the years I have wondered what I would have done if I had had one in the freezer, because DH and I have found that on the whole being one and done suits us and DS seems fine- positive in fact- about it. In a way though, there is always that little niggle in your mind about either thinking your existing child is so great and you have enjoyed parenting so would be nice to do it again, or a thought that it would be nice for them to have a sibling. I am glad the choice was made for me, but I can easily imagine someone with a frozen embryo putting it to the back of their mind for years but maybe eventually having a subtle shift in mood- perhaps enough distance from post-natal anxiety, maybe seeing a friend with a new baby, maybe something your older child says, and thinking “ah sod it, let’s transfer it and see what happens”.

Why are you presuming the birth was due to IVF?

I got pregnant naturally at 42 and had my DD at 43.

I grew up around women who had babies in their late 40s some of whom I was related to.

Two of my SILs worked with women who had babies in late 40s and early 50s, who refused to use birth control. So they knew that in some cases the woman would be back again a year or so later giving birth again.

There are some ethnicities were it is more common for women to be able to have babies late.

On the other hand three women I know had reached the menopause while I was pregnant with my DD.

KingsleyBorder · 02/11/2023 10:32

Reugny · 02/11/2023 10:29

Why are you presuming the birth was due to IVF?

I got pregnant naturally at 42 and had my DD at 43.

I grew up around women who had babies in their late 40s some of whom I was related to.

Two of my SILs worked with women who had babies in late 40s and early 50s, who refused to use birth control. So they knew that in some cases the woman would be back again a year or so later giving birth again.

There are some ethnicities were it is more common for women to be able to have babies late.

On the other hand three women I know had reached the menopause while I was pregnant with my DD.

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I’m not presuming anything. I am speculating on one possibility and sharing some thoughts based on my own experience. What is wrong with that?

And why are you so keen to bang on about older woman conceiving naturally in response to a poster (me) who has said that she had to have IVF at 42? Kind of insensitive don’t you think?

TeenLifeMum · 02/11/2023 10:34

I wish the couple well. They’ve lived great lives and have the finances and good health to have babies now. My cousins lost their mums at ages 7, 11 and 14 (two different aunties of mine) to cancer when they were in their early 40s having had them at mn “acceptable” ages. You never know what life will bring so live for each day.

Many parents have dc at points in life you could argue is selfish (can’t afford it/too young/too old). Just do what you love and ignore social norms if they don’t suit you.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 02/11/2023 10:37

I'd much rather stick pins in my eyes for eternity but I'm really pleased for them both

jammysmol · 02/11/2023 10:38

Berylswain · 02/11/2023 10:25

I'm a tiny bit envious of all the women who even found men who were decent and actually wanted kids. I can't even find a good man and I'm 41, very healthy and fit and want kids one day but the time is ticking and men just wasted my time up to this point in life. Great to see older women like me being able to have kids...maybe there is hope for me still

Sorry to hear this Berylswain, I know quite a few women who have been similarly messed about by men in this fashion and its hideous behaviour, I hope you find someone lovely soon💐

PrincessHoneysuckle · 02/11/2023 10:38

WingingItSince1973 · 01/11/2023 22:14

Their little girl isn't very old so maybe they wanted another child which is only natural. I love David and Victoria (Mitchell not Beckham 😂). Am happy for them but I'm 50 and it wouldn't be for me. I'm too tired now. 3 kids and 1 grandson ❤️

I think their daughter is 8 which is a pretty big age gap

enchantedsquirrelwood · 02/11/2023 10:40

Tranche · 01/11/2023 22:00

As a perimenopausal 51-year-old, I cannot think of much worse than having a newborn to look after right now.

Indeed! My son is nearly 21 and it's my time now!

Personally I think 40 is a sensible limit for having kids (had my son at 30). Any older than that and your risk of problems increases a lot - both for you and the baby.

RoyalCorgi · 02/11/2023 10:40

Why are you presuming the birth was due to IVF?

Victoria CM had her first baby at 43. If the couple wanted a second baby, they probably started trying a couple of years later - very few people deliberately choose a gap of eight years between children. So there's a good chance she couldn't get pregnant and had to pay for IVF, probably more than one round.

Yes, this is speculation. And perhaps we shouldn't speculate. But here we are...

PrincessHoneysuckle · 02/11/2023 10:42

They're both very intelligent people I doubt they'll have took all this on lightly.Its obviously the right choice for them

VanityDiesHard · 02/11/2023 10:42

SurprisedWithAHorse · 02/11/2023 10:16

I hear she's crying all the way to her next book deal.

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I don't care about her wealth. I don't like her or her husband, they come across as awfully smug. People on this site seem to assume that everyone is jealous of any celebrity that they dislike: I have noticed the same with Victoria Beckham (whom I also cannot abide) Wealth doesn't make up for doing bad things.

Pipsquiggle · 02/11/2023 10:43

I just don't think it's beneficial to your mental health to frame this question in this way, which is why I have voted YABU.

Envy of anything is pretty destructive.

I wish them well. I am sure they have mitigated the risks as far as they can - fianances, schooling, wills etc.
There is no way I would want a baby at that age

Clefable · 02/11/2023 10:43

Given the not insignificant number of people every day having children when they really, really, shouldn't, I can't say her age registers with me at all. I'm sure that child will be loved and given far more opportunities and experiences than many other children. And probably far less stressed parents who are able to be present in a way many parents aren't (both physically present and emotionally) because they have the resources to allow for it. I'm sure both of their children will have very happy childhoods. And if I look like VCM when I'm 51 I will be over the bloody moon.

SurprisedWithAHorse · 02/11/2023 10:44

VanityDiesHard · 02/11/2023 10:42

I don't care about her wealth. I don't like her or her husband, they come across as awfully smug. People on this site seem to assume that everyone is jealous of any celebrity that they dislike: I have noticed the same with Victoria Beckham (whom I also cannot abide) Wealth doesn't make up for doing bad things.

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Watch out, they'll take you off their Christmas card list.

Webex · 02/11/2023 10:45

Like I said before, having old parents needing care is a mental load whether or not you are physically doing the caring. You don’t just get carers in/put them in a home and forget about them

But we all (barring a disaster) get this mental load. I don't see that getting it in your 30s is better or worse than in your 50s.

FrustatedAgain · 02/11/2023 10:47

I would never have put her at 51 she looks about 10 years younger. Good luck to them they are financially secure and able to give they children a stable and loving home I would imagine.

Petallove · 02/11/2023 10:54

I wouldn’t want to do it at that age. If I couldn’t have children I would have hoped the adoption route would have been the answer. I’m forties and it’s tiring with teens. The children may well end up looking after them.

bonkersAlice · 02/11/2023 11:02

Brave.